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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I never thought I would come to this. But, lately, I began noticing my senior colleague behaving somewhat inappropriately against me. I don't mean being bullied or discriminated against. I mean like actions taken at my expense. Actions that I may be admonished for if I committed them instead.

1. We were making our way to a wing whilst I was carrying sluice bags. As we were walking across a hall, the senior immediately diverged towards my other colleague (to socialise). I was completely forgotten at that moment.

2. Just yesterday, the senior asked me for the whereabouts of my other colleague (so to socialise with). And after I told the senior, the senior literally just walked away (without a word, not even a thank you).

These are just two examples. And I anticipate the senior will behave like this again.

Like how I had an issue with a junior colleague, I know I mustn't allow the senior walk over me like that (whether intentionally or not), and that I have to, somehow, stand up for myself whenever I sense something wrong.

But my dilemma is, because the senior had already become a trusted member of the workplace long before I had joined, any sort of criticism could be perceived as pushback, thus the potential of me looking bad. And knowing this senior (noting the strength of the senior's personality and bossiness), would certainly make a noise out of it.

Letting my Supervisor know is one way. But, as mentioned earlier, trust had already long been established. So my Supervisor would likely react incredulously (and quite possibly the senior subverting my attempt at correcting the issue and turn it into a different issue altogether, like me being too introverted).

I'm kind of stuck and I don't know what to do.

I'm already unhappy and (emotionally) stressed at work. And this just adds an extra layer to it which is something I don't need at all.

How can I stand up for myself?
 

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Loathed Loiterer
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Many people especially in the real world are rather cold, aloof and blunt like that. Personally I wouldn't pay too much bother to those things. Especially if it's a professional superior. Some will develop this mentality if they see themselves as a superior to others. Just stomach it. It's not worth it. If you decide to stand up for yourself in those things, you will be in for a lot of conflict at work, which will be at the expense of your job. Save your "standing up for yourself" moments for bigger problems when they come up. If you stress out over the personality things of others such as those, you will be in for a lot of stress and run into constant conflict in the real world in general. This will only negatively affect in how you function in the real world as a whole.
 

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Would agree with the other posters here that this senior's aloof and perhaps impolite nature may just be a personal trait, or how he treats most of his subordinates. This wouldn't be something I'd take too personally unless if I saw they were treating everyone else differently.

Speaking to the senior might only be worth it if you already have a strong rapport with them, and it doesn't sound like you do. But you should be comfortable speaking to your own supervisor regarding any concerns you have - and it could just be for reassurance more than anything, along with asking for advice.

But if merely opening up to your supervisor is enough to cause a huge commotion, that says a lot about either the supervisor or the work environment. Also - standing up for yourself is the opposite of trying to ensure a risk-free resolution. Instead, it's about taking action against whenever you feel wronged, and fully taking ownership for whatever risks come with doing so.

Personally - I'd be surprised if the senior's behaviour was personal to yourself, and feels very different from your other dilemma with your junior. But in answering your last question - in order to stand up for yourself, you'd have to be willing to accept the risks you stated above - and be really to deal with them should they manifest.
 

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Super Moderator
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Maybe I'm just rude but these do not sound like major issues to me. Likely this person doesn't even know you took offense.
 

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Hey struggling, I'll talk about that here cause that's exactly my issue too. More regarding the bossy controlling bosses who really are the guilty ones. Sometimes it can be the employee who's the guilty one though, that's the problem. We don't know unless we know you all.

But tell us more about it so we can make these topics more out in the open. These kind of people will keep doing it if we don't....

And for your problem I say, it's like you guys are just "strangers who happen to be forced to work with each other".
 

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Song and action man
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Sounds like you don't interface all that much with this senior if I'm reading this correctly. I'd let it go
 

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I don't understand what's the problem. It just seems like the senior doesn't want to socialise with you. He/she is not bullying you as you mentioned.

It would be hurtful and demeaning if you have tried to socialise with said person and they keep on disregarding you. A colleague is not obligated to socialise with you.

It would be a problem if that colleague dismisses you with work matters, like leaving you out of the loop and constantly putting you down.
 
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