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I was prescribed citalopram yesterday

I took one tablet and that is enough for me

Withing a few hours I could feel it trying to block parts of my brain, it felt like being drunk or hungover in a weird way and I couldnt sleep, and occasionally i'd get this pulse of negativity sweep over my mind

during the ngiht while i was awake found it really hard to connect thoughts together, just felt like it was trying to stop me from thinking

Really weird

I'd rather be depressed and myself than take this stuff and get some fake happiness from being in a haze all the time

Dr said it can take a few weeks to do its thing but does it really make things good or does it just make you numb to things? I think I'm better off trying to find me own way to make things better not relying on this
Don't judge SSRIs on the first 2 weeks -- those effects are basically the opposite to what you'll feel later on (in many ways).

Everyone has this bad opinion of SSRIs, but the better way is to combine one with a dopaminergic like bupropion, selegiline, etc. Then you get anxiety/depression relief AND greater motivation/sociability/pleasure. Or, SSRIs/SNRIs can be used together with mirtazapine to prevent most (if not all) of the side-effects. Every decent psychiatrist knows about these type of cocktails nowadays.

The theory that depression is a disorder of just serotonin and noradrenaline is completely wrong, as will be proven by the huge efficacy of the coming SNDRIs. Well, neurotransmitter reductionism is a bad way of thinking in general, but still.
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