I have been suffering from SA since I was a kid, although never diagnosed. I told my GP that I was having anxiety attacks due to something that happened to me recently that was traumatizing but I added in that I have felt odd around people since I was little. (I was too embarassed to go into details.) I think he suspected SA, and he put me on Klonopin for one month while waiting for Paxil to kick in. I was on the lowest poss. dose of Paxil. After the month, I went off Klonopin with no withdrawal problems (probably because of the Paxil), anyway, I felt better than I ever did, not high or anything, just normal. The only two side effects I got were diarrhea/weightloss, and not being able to orgasm. Although I didn't mind this much, my husband did. It really bothered him that I could not climax and although I tried to tell him it was just the meds, he still was offended in a way I guess. We haven't even been married a year and I didn't want to make our marriage suffer so I stopped the Paxil. After stopping Paxil, I slowly went back to feeling like my old self again, but this time worse because I knew what it could feel like to feel normal. I still had some Klonopin left so I started taking that every night and noticed that I felt good the next day on the nights I would take it. Eventually I ran out of Klonopin and went through a two week withdrawal that I can only describe as like a bad acid trip. After that I swore I'd never take meds again. I told my husband the withdrawal was from the Paxil and not from the Klonopin because I didn't want him to know I was sneaking Klonopin, so now he hates Paxil even more. I started to think about suicide a lot and decided I needed meds again. I called my GP who put me on Wellbutrin. I took it for a month, it did nothing. I would really like to try maybe Lexapro or even Paxil again but I don't want to tell my husband. I think maybe I could just fake it and he doesn't even have to know. I feel terrible even thinking about doing this, like I'm totally deceiving him, but I dont know how to make him realize what I'm going though and how bad it is. He's the total opposite of me, very outgoing, talks to everyone, makes friends easily. He just doesn't get it. I'm really lost here. I feel like if I don't get help soon, I'm going to do something stupid because I'm so unhappy with my life and I know it could be better with meds. What do I do?