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Shadows In Light

Life
Always on the outside
looking in.
Shunned.
Rejected.
Taking refuge
in dark places,
hiding in fear of this
cold world,
darkness became
a part of me.

Now
drawing nearer
to You,
my eyes adjusting
to the light,
it's clear
there is a place for me.

In the shadow of
the cross...
True
Sanctuary


-Karen-
 

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Don't surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep.

Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.

Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice,
So tender,

My need of God
Absolutely
Clear.

- Hafiz, 14th century Persian poet
 

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This poem has a lot of personal meaning for me:

____________________
I lost my easy God - the one whose name
I knew since childhood.
I knew his temper, his sullen outrage, his ritual forgiveness...
I never told him how he frightened me,
how he followed me as a child
When I played with friends or begged for candy
on Halloween...
He the mysterious took all mystery away,
corroded my imagination,
Controlled the stars and would not let them
speak for themselves.

Now he haunts me seldom: some fierce umbilical is broken.
I live with my own fragile hopes and sudden rising despair.
Now I do not weep for my sins; I have learned to love them and
to know that they are the wounds that make love real...
I walk alone, but not so terrified as when he held my hand...
Perhaps I have no God - what does it matter?
I have beauty and joy and transcending loneliness,
I have the beginning of love - as beautiful as it is feeble,
as free as it is human...

I sense the call of creation, I feel its swelling in my hands,
I can lust and love, eat and drink, sleep and rise,
but my easy God is gone - and in his stead
The mystery of loneliness and love.

- "My Easy God", Fr. James Kavanaugh
 

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This is more of a prayer, but it expresses how I feel lately

Our God, the Guide of humanity, let Your spirit rule this nation and its citizens, that their deeds may be prompted by a love of justice and right, and bear fruit in goodness and peace.
Bless our people with love of righteousness.

Teach us to work for the welfare of all, to diminish the evils that beset us, and to enlarge our nation’s virtues.
Bless our people with civic courage.

Bless our striving to make real the dream of Your kingdom, when we shall put an end to the suffering we now inflict upon each other.
Bless our people with a vision of Your kingdom on earth.

For You have endowed us with noble powers; help us to use them wisely, and with compassion.
Bless our people with a wise and feeling heart.

You have given us freedom to choose between good and evil. May we choose good, that our children may inherit from us the blessings of dignity and freedom, prosperity and peace.
 

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Loaves & Fishes, by David Whyte:

This is not
the age of information

This not
the age of information

Forget the news
and the radio
and the blurred screen

This is the time
of loaves
and fishes

People are hungry
and one good word is bread
for a thousand
 

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Job 7:11

Therefore I will not restrain my mouth;
I will speak in the anguish of my spirit;
I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.

Am I the sea, or a sea monster,
that thou settest a guard over me?

When I say, "My bed will comfort me, my couch will ease my complain," then thou dost scare me with dreams and terrify me with visions,
So that I would choose strangling and death rather than my bones.

I loathe my life; I would not live for ever.
Let me alone, for my days are a breath.
 

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Loneliness (from the “Gates of Prayer” prayer book):

I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain – and back in rain.
I have out-walked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or say goodbye;
And further still at an unearthly height,
One luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.
 

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Lord lift me up out
Of this mire…
Fill my heart with your fire of love…

Take away this pain and despair,
So I may worship you with all my
Hearts desire…

Lord I pray
Wipe away these tears and fill my soul with nothing but
Praise,
O Lord, I cry to you in your almighty high,
With a breath blow away my misery,
So I may walk in your company…

Lord, I yearn to show you
Praise and Love…
And live by your precious commands…

Oh Lord, I need
Your help and wisdom, to show
Me the right path to take…

I feel so loss and lonely,
On my knees I pray to you
Find this loss sheep,
And bring me into your sheltered
Family.

Amen


debs
 

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I walk In…


I walk in, out of the storm,
Conflict that erupts in my soul,
To find shelter in the sanctuary, it feels so real, so warm,
Is it reality? In the glow of our Lord,

No sooner, in a flicker, the door closes,
Back into the chaos, a jolt smashes
Me back into my own will driven insanity.

In the middle of the darkness, when the souls
Of the light are at rest,
The soul I fight with is restless and at
Full charge.
Lightning touches all the nerves,
Sparks of fear, loneliness, ignite, and
Overtake my thoughts,

I search for my sedative, His word
Crying out for stillness, I drink
From the source of life, the Truth

These false feelings, shall they pass?
Not to be overtaken by the endless
Shadows, darkened crevices of
Worthlessness, uselessness and shame,
As the shadow creeps and strangles
The desire to see tomorrow,

Just as quick as the storm blew in,
The Son shines upon the dark clouds,
With one breath they are blown away.

The refreshing rain of the great redeemer
And his Love supplies an undeniable
Relief of hope,
A new day begins, the doors of the sanctuary open,

The hours of the darkened storms
Are lesser, with each season of
Growth,
And what once was a glimmer,
Is now a burst of truth,
The spirit screams out, yearning for
The glory of Hope, Love and Kindness.


debs
 

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:eek:ops

thank you
 

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Dear Lord,
Take this Jumbled mess of stuff and
Mold it into your will,
Take this pain that is ripping at my soul, and throw it in the pit of fire,
Show me your love that you so promise,
So I may feel it in every living cell of my body,

Lord My God,
These tears that refuse to flow, take them and wipe them away with your softened
Hand, and cleanse me with a cascade of your light that will take me out of this darkness I have put around myself.

Lord
Forgive me for all the scars I have inflicted on your image,
And all the insults I have thrown against your child,

Oh God
Send me the strength of a thousand men, to fight this battle and agony
Of self,
Place your shield of love and kindness
Around my soul,
So I may feel nothing but you safety,

Oh My Lord
Protect me from my old self, so my new self can shine in your loving eyes,

In this I pray in Jesus Christ name
Amen
 

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Grace



Today I may stumble and trip
Among
The thorns…
Gods grace lifts me up and sends me on my way…

When I remember of all the horrible mistakes I have made and failures
And temptations I have succumbed to in the past,
Gods grace wipes it all away in one breath…

And when I feel life is dark and hopeless…
Gods grace shines a light into the pit and a path is shown to the truth
And hope…

And when I have fallen and hit the bottom,
Gods grace comes and picks me up and shows me
The door to Jesus’s heart…

And when the “self” comes out to play the games of Satan,
And I feel as if I have lost the battle…
Gods grace comes in and stands beside me, with arms around…to win the war

And when I thought I slammed the door, so tight there’s no chance of it opening…
Gods grace always finds me,
And loosens the pain that has been keeping it shut…

Today I have seen and found a renewed hope,
Only because…
Gods grace graced my soul.


debs
 

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I was emailed this poem, on wait..

thought I would share it....:)
___________________________
Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."


"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.


"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.


"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."


Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"


He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.


"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.


"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.


"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.


"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.


"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.


"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
 

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this is something I decided to put in words,
its a place I have been going to, in my times of depression...

My Comfort Zone…

There this place I go, when things
Of this world, and my mind, have me so down,

When life’s stresses have me tied in a knot,
So tight, there seems no hope of freedom…

It’s a painting only my imagination can conjure,
Colors and sounds so vivid, no artist can put on canvas…

It’s a place in time,
On a late afternoon, in mid summer,
With a cool breeze bringing relief from a hot day…
The suns rays are filtering thru the trees, bringing
A radiant glow to everything they caress,

As I walk to the meeting place, to comfort my soul,
I can feel the warmth of the sun relaxing my face and arms…
A sensation that puts every cell at ease…

As I get closer, butterflies of every color that exists,
Dart here and there, aimlessly leaving a fragrance of love…
As I get closer to my place,
In the distance, I can hear the faint sounds of water
Cascading slowly over the rocks, singing a soothing sound.

I look over, and they’re amongst the infinite shades of green,
Flowers of every type, a natural made bench, carved out of an ancient
Log, belonging to the earth itself…

And their sitting, ever so comfortably, on this bench,
With his toes playfully resting in
This babbling brook, on a warm summers afternoon,
With the rays of the sunlight giving him a glow, only He
Can have…
Sits my friend Jesus…

Without so much of a resistance in my heart,
I sit alongside Him, my body and soul…
And as I sit there with a tear of pain, and Joy at the same time…
His strong arms, embrace, my soul, my life,
And comforts me with His holiness, and grace.
A sense of peace, surrounds us, as we sit there…

No words need to be said, there in stillness,
Listening to the songs of the brook, flowing into eternity,
The flutter of the butterflies as they canter
From one surreal flower to the next…
The trees swaying gracefully to a heavenly
Sound of the warm breeze…
The warmth sun on our faces,
A love that cannot be described in my world,

I sit there for a few moments,
Quenching a thirst, that has no description,

Now I must leave, and go back to a reality
For some more time,
To wait and live a life only for Him,
Till the time comes,
When I can stay with
Him in this place for eternity….

As I walk off, I can see in his eyes, all the promises,
As if He was saying…
It will be all right, just have faith,
Comeback anytime…



Debs Mcculloch
 

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I wrote this this morning in my Blog...its how I was feeling this morning... and for some reason, thought to share it here also....

I stand, Looking out the window,
on a Beautiful spring day,
trying to get the courage
up,
to face yet another 24 hours,
not knowing
what is in store...

buried deep,
is a desire, to face all
the daily demons, temptations,
in a shout..
you do not belong here now...
for I have died,
and I am, reborn...

As my Soul
stands there, watching
the world go by,
craving to be a part,

yet, being held down,
by my own leashed will...

The one true love,
whom has become my
daily nourishment,
gently nudges me out the door,
to face yet another
day,
and with Him in me...
The faith, and comfort...
is becoming ,
ever so slowly,
layer at a time,
my daily encouragement
to go onwards...
and face the twisting road,
towards Eternity....

debs
 

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I like your poem especially the last paragraph. Very inspiring. It reminds me of a saying I read"Courage is fear after prayers"
 

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thank you Fiendly,

you just answered my question,
I was wondering if anyone was getting sick of my writings...

wasnt sure if I should add another one...

but why not..its from God not me..

Just as I come up for air,
And can feel the sunshine of
His love ,
Taking and breathing in
His promises,
Knowing I have a few moments of peace,
Praying for it to
Refresh my darkened soul,
And renew the living cells with
His Glorious appearance,

Joy filters into emotions,
Causing a spasm of hope…

In an unexpected moment,
The mind begins to
Suffocate the breath of His Truths…

The lies begin to overtake the Shinning warmth of
His Love…a darkness begins
To wrap its hand around the heart,
Sadness plunges the peace
Into a chasm of fear, loneliness,
And shame…
The truth has again
Become shrouded by
A deceiver…

The tears begin to flow,
Giving a fuel to the pain,
The confusion is awakened,
Uncertainty overtakes,
Not sure where to turn,
In a darkness that has blinded the sight of the light…

Without a thought,
A prayer is cried out,
O Lord, you promised to be there,
Not to forsake me,
To just have faith, that you are always
By my side,
This storm that
Has taken me under,
Into the depths of depression,
And insecurities…
Will pass,
When the clouds
Have broken, and the
Sight has been restored,
The Promise
Of believing…

Will become
Stronger, in preparation.
For the
Circumstances
Of this world….

Debs M.
 
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