You are not a social phobic, you are not shy. You are human. Stop describing yourself as a social phobic, that is just one part of you. There are lots of people who have heard from their teachers as kids that that they can't sing, and so they are too embarrased to sing even now. It really matters how we classifie ourselfes. Since I realized this, I have tried to took a different attitude instead: that I have some anxiety in social situations, but I AM NOT a social phobic. This has had a huge effect, no longer do I have to predestine myself automatically to fail, or have to always run because "I'm so shy".
You can't live your life thinking always what everybody else thinks of you. It is impossible, it is too hard. And in reality, it is purely impossible to control what the other thinks of you. You are not the master of his/her thoughts.
Not everyone has to like you, truly. There will always be people who will love you, who will be neutral and those who will hate you. It is cliche, but it is true. There really are different major types of personalities, and people often tend to end up hanging with people who are somewhat like them. This happens naturally. Look around, and you'll realize this. There are some personality types which I just cant stand. How could I demand that they should love me unconditionally in return? Wouldnt that be just ridiculous? You dont have to make friends with everybody, and not everybody has to appreciate you. Find out what kind of people you are comfortable with.
Remember, that you have the glasses of fear on. Even if you feel extremely embarrassed and awkward, the situation most likely is not nearly as awkward (if at all) to others.
It is okay to feel feelings. It is okay to be nervous or afraid, everybody is. I don't have hard time eating or drinking in public, but one day I was in a big restaurant, and the anxiety growed too big: my hand started to shake. It was difficult to hold my coffee cup. I was becoming very uncomfortable, but then something just snapped in my head and I thinked: "Well everyone, look, this is human. Weak, flesh and bones. Afraid.". My hand immediately stopped shaking: I didnt need to hide anything anymore.
You can't live your life thinking always what everybody else thinks of you. It is impossible, it is too hard. And in reality, it is purely impossible to control what the other thinks of you. You are not the master of his/her thoughts.
Not everyone has to like you, truly. There will always be people who will love you, who will be neutral and those who will hate you. It is cliche, but it is true. There really are different major types of personalities, and people often tend to end up hanging with people who are somewhat like them. This happens naturally. Look around, and you'll realize this. There are some personality types which I just cant stand. How could I demand that they should love me unconditionally in return? Wouldnt that be just ridiculous? You dont have to make friends with everybody, and not everybody has to appreciate you. Find out what kind of people you are comfortable with.
Remember, that you have the glasses of fear on. Even if you feel extremely embarrassed and awkward, the situation most likely is not nearly as awkward (if at all) to others.
It is okay to feel feelings. It is okay to be nervous or afraid, everybody is. I don't have hard time eating or drinking in public, but one day I was in a big restaurant, and the anxiety growed too big: my hand started to shake. It was difficult to hold my coffee cup. I was becoming very uncomfortable, but then something just snapped in my head and I thinked: "Well everyone, look, this is human. Weak, flesh and bones. Afraid.". My hand immediately stopped shaking: I didnt need to hide anything anymore.