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roarrrr
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm doing a research project on Body Dysmorphia for my Psychology course. I just thought I'd ask some questions for people with BDD about their experience. Don't worry - I'm not using ANY answers for my project. I'm honestly just curious about first-hand accounts. :)

1.) Have you ever experienced Major Depression as a result of your BDD? Have you ever been suicidal or had suicidal ideation/thoughts?

2.) Would you say that your experience mirrors OCD or no? (Such as - checking mirrors compulsively or picking at your appearance obsessive-compulsively.)

3.) Do you think your Social Phobia is connected with your BDD?

4.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery?

5.) Do you recall anything that could have caused BDD in you? Such as abuse, bullying etc.?

If I think of other questions I'm curious about, I'll add them.
 

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indecisive piece of ****
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1.) Have you ever experienced Major Depression as a result of your BDD? Have you ever been suicidal or had suicidal ideation/thoughts?

Yes. If I'm not depressed right now, then I don't know what else could be wrong with me. Seeing myself as physically unappealing makes me never want to go out. I have thought of suicide, but it was never a consideration of mine.

2.) Would you say that your experience mirrors OCD or no? (Such as - checking mirrors compulsively or picking at your appearance obsessive-compulsively.)
Actually, yes. I won't leave the house if I feel fat. If I can help it.

3.) Do you think your Social Phobia is connected with your BDD?
Absolutely. I'm sure one caused the other.

4.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery?
No.

5.) Do you recall anything that could have caused BDD in you? Such as abuse, bullying etc.?
I remember once in the 7th grade in band class, this kid sitting next to me looked at me and said, "You're fat."
Also, I was in the cafeteria sometime in junior high (damn ****ing junior high...) and this other boy said something like "Yeah, you've gained a lot of weight recently."

They probably wouldn't even remember saying these things. But I do, and I remember exactly who said them.
 

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I've never actually been diagnosed with BDD cause I'm not very open with my doctor, but I'm 99% sure I have it. Just thought I should include that in case it's important.

1) I had depression long before BDD, although BDD has made my depression much worse. I have suicidal thoughts (not attempts) frequently, but not due to BDD. Indirectly, it's related to BDD, as BDD has in part caused SA and agoraphobia for me and SA and agoraphobia have caused my life to collapse, which makes me depressed and leads to suicidal thoughts.

2) I would guess that my behaviours are a result of OCD, but it's not something I've ever been diagnosed with. I couldn't say for sure whether it's actually OCD or just similar to OCD.

3) My SA is only partially due to BDD. I might call it the nail in the coffin, cause if I ever get the urge to go out, my first thought is that I can't because I look terrible.

4) Absolutely. I'm terrified of the thought of it, but I feel like I'll never really be happy if I can't look the way I want to. I don't care about things like high cheekbones or full lips. My top concern is perfect skin. Second would be weight. I doubt I'll ever have the money to do it, though.

5) I've never been abused or bullied. The only cause I can identify is that in high school I became judgemental of other people's looks. During college, my own body became just like the people I judged. Rather than becoming sympathetic, I hated my own ugliness. Maybe the only bullying and abuse I've ever experienced is from myself.
 

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Be your own hero
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**Haven't been professionally diagnosed but I'm 99% sure I have it.

1.) Have you ever experienced Major Depression as a result of your BDD? Have you ever been suicidal or had suicidal ideation/thoughts?
I have been diagnosed with minor depression, I think it's only minor because I try my hardest to be positive in every situation.
I know if I were to ever commit suicide I'd take pills, I have thought about it but I don't think I'll ever do it...I'd hate to leave my mom all alone and I'm not a quitter.


2.) Would you say that your experience mirrors OCD or no? (Such as - checking mirrors compulsively or picking at your appearance obsessive-compulsively.)
When people call me pretty or beautiful I feel like telling them to "Shut Up" I think they're lieing or being sarcastic, If they said they saw a flying pig I'd have more chance of believing that.

At day time I cannot look in the bathroom mirror unless I have Moms dark dressing gown over the white curtain, Otherwise the bathroom is too bright and washed out and I look even worse.

I prefer my reflection in windows because it makes my skin look almost flawless.

It takes me at least an hour to wash, dry and straighten my hair. I do this almost every day. I won't leave the house with un-straightened hair. Doing my hair gives me a tiny slither of confidence.


3.) Do you think your Social Phobia is connected with your BDD?
Definitely, looks are so important to me.

4.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery?
If I can't accept my flaws by 30 and I have the money then I will be getting a breast lift, nose job, brow lift and porcelain veneers.

5.) Do you recall anything that could have caused BDD in you? Such as abuse, bullying etc.?
1. Year 5 school photo day, I was a tom boy and the "popular" girl tried to make me over because I didn't look pretty enough.
2. Middle school. Again during class a "popular" girl pointed out all my flaws and said "sucks to be you".
3. High school. An over-confident, snobbish girl pointed out all my flaws to me.


Good luck with your project :D
 

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Hmm...don't know if you're still doing this, but here goes:

1.) Have you ever experienced Major Depression as a result of your BDD? Have you ever been suicidal or had suicidal ideation/thoughts? Most definitely to both. I actually go through phases where I think I look good, and...not so much. My depression usually corresponds to those looow phases. I haven't had very many suicidal thoughts since, but they peaked around 14-18, to the point where I was doing research online about how to go about it as painlessly as possible. Have never cut or anything, though.

2.) Would you say that your experience mirrors OCD or no? (Such as - checking mirrors compulsively or picking at your appearance obsessive-compulsively.) I had OCD symptoms from about the age of 8, and BDD started at 11, so maybe that set the stage. But yes, checking, fixing, constant obsessive/intrusive thoughts, rituals that I feel I must follow lest something change about my appearance, product hoarding & researching, and I used to have a facercise thing (haha) where I'd have to perform the exercises & repetitions x-amount of times, but I stopped that a few years ago (after about 4 years). Not infrequently I'm late or miss things due to getting ready in the morning, or I decide not to go anywhere.

3.) Do you think your Social Phobia is connected with your BDD? I probably had some shyness before BDD, but full-blown SA came pretty much after.

4.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery? For sure. I will get a nose-job hopefully within the next year. I would also like to have some sort of skin procedure, like laser or light therapy. I'm told my nose and skin are fine, but I can't be fully convinced; I do realize that my feelings are excessive, though.

5.) Do you recall anything that could have caused BDD in you? Such as abuse, bullying etc.?
Puberty was traumatic for me...just the physical changes. I withdrew like crazy as a result, and that in turn lead to losing some friendships. I became pretty lonely, and I felt strongly that I didn't fit in, but no-one really out-right bullied me.
 

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roarrrr
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Hmm...don't know if you're still doing this
Most definitely. Just want to repeat, I'm not using anything written here for the project. So - don't feel like you need to censor yourselves. Since I'm doing this project, I'm interested in the disorder & want to learn more from people's personal experiences. So - this thread can go on as long as it likes, I'll keep reading it. :)

Thanks for everyone who responded in depth with explanations. That's what I was looking for, not a simple yes/no answer like some people have been giving, haha.

For those that said they would get plastic surgery - do you think that would cure you from the BDD? Because most studies say that people with true BDD tend to just switch to another aspect of their appearance or the plastic surgery makes their focus on that aspect worse.
 

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For those that said they would get plastic surgery - do you think that would cure you from the BDD? Because most studies say that people with true BDD tend to just switch to another aspect of their appearance or the plastic surgery makes their focus on that aspect worse.
I feel like once I get the surgery my obsession with that specific aspect will subside (provided the surgery isn't botched and it basically goes the way we plan it), and for a few months after all the swelling has gone down and the results are clear I'll be on a little high. But probably after that the obsessions will return, only to attack another area. I do tend to think it (the BDD) won't be as severe as it is now, though. At least, I hope.

Therapy will hopefully give me the necessary tools to cope with the thoughts.
 

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roarrrr
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Therapy will hopefully give me the necessary tools to cope with the thoughts.
So - will you be starting therapy soon? I really think that would help you. :yes Also - have you tried any medication? In my research, it said that anti-depressants were actually very good for BDD. (For some odd reason, I swear, they don't really understand why these do or don't work sometimes!)
 

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So - will you be starting therapy soon? I really think that would help you. :yes Also - have you tried any medication? In my research, it said that anti-depressants were actually very good for BDD. (For some odd reason, I swear, they don't really understand why these do or don't work sometimes!)
Well, somewhat soon. I've had a hard time getting, processing, and following-through on a referral due to some poor organization at my doctor's office. And then, unfortunately, it takes about 6 months after filling out some forms to get an actual appointment at the facility I want to go to. In the meantime will try my school's psych. services.

I've tried a few medications before. SSRIs weren't helpful (they over-stimulated me, so maybe serotonin isn't the problem?), and then I tried Buspirone, which kind of worked, but I didn't stay on it long enough because of the side effects. I'm going to try to stick with something this time for at least 6 months, but I think CBT is probably where most of the lasting results will come from.
 

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For those that said they would get plastic surgery - do you think that would cure you from the BDD? Because most studies say that people with true BDD tend to just switch to another aspect of their appearance or the plastic surgery makes their focus on that aspect worse.
I've never considered the possibility that it could take away BDD. It's just instinctual that I see a problem and know it has to be fixed. I also wasn't aware that plastic surgery could make BDD worse. But, like I said, it's instinctual to want to correct the problem (for me), so these revelations wouldn't deter me. My only three concerns are money, fear of surgery and complications, and fear of anyone looking at me closely during the surgery (or at all).
 

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1.) Have you ever experienced Major Depression as a result of your BDD? Have you ever been suicidal or had suicidal ideation/thoughts?

2.) Would you say that your experience mirrors OCD or no? (Such as - checking mirrors compulsively or picking at your appearance obsessive-compulsively.)

3.) Do you think your Social Phobia is connected with your BDD?

4.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery?

5.) Do you recall anything that could have caused BDD in you? Such as abuse, bullying etc.?

If I think of other questions I'm curious about, I'll add them. [/FONT]
1. Not major depression as I understand it (can't get out of bed/can't experience happiness), i have Dysthymia. Yes I have and still do experience suicide ideation, but I've never attempted.

2. Yes I always check mirrors, everywhere i go. I live in a place about 26ft x 14ft (a converted garage setup at home, i'm 19), and in that little space I have 4 mirrors. I try to be subtle checking reflections in glass (which I always do, and feel i must each time), because I don't want people to see me doing it. But for example one technique I use is when I need to cross a road, I'll try do it directly opposite a building with a good window (reflection), so for about 10 seconds I can walk directly towards that window justifiably looking at my reflection.

There's another part to this, because I actually can bear my reflection some of the time. What I get REALLY freaked out about (which some people here know about), is what I look like in photographs or when I use a webcam that flips my picture (like in Quicktime) just to see what I look like. I untag myself in 90% of photos on facebook, i feel horrified looking at my "unmirrored" self. Its unsettling that the unmirrored one is, just that, unmirrored. I know it is so irrational but I feel my unmirrored picture looks like I have a very "slanted" face/smile (on top of things like fat face, big head, bad skin etc).

With other 'OCD' tendancies:
- I don't wear trackpants with a jacket (like on a cold day or whatever), it's either jacket and shorts, or pants and t-shirt (on a cold day). I feel trackies & a jacket make me look really fat. Though I can use jeans & jacket.
- I either must eat dinner before 6pm or go for a 5mile run between dinner and bed. Because I don't want to gain weight. I do this almost like "purging", but its slightly healthier even if psychologically still not great.

3. I'm not diagnosed with SAD, I have tendancies which my therapist associates with an Avoidant personality (though agrees not serious enough to have a personality disorder diagnosis), which stem from very low self-esteem and core belief that I'll be rejected. This to some degree is definitely connected to how I feel about my appearance.

4. I don't have the money to spend on plastic surgery so it's never occured to me. Some of my objections involve my skin not being good enough, and my face being too fat. I believe my head is much too big but that's not really something I could fix with surgery.

I'm aware my perception of my appearance (best example is my body-image which can go from 'okay' to 'fat' over one meal) swings drastically, too drastically to be realistic. So I don't think I would be satisfied if I got surgery. I'd find something else to want to change.

5. When I was 15, I was overweight/glasses/acne/short/braces. I felt awful about my appearance then and was bullied for my weight. That led to an eating disorder which took up my life for about 12 months (i've had 1 relapse since), but in that time I became 'this' way. It started (with an ED) with improper perception of my body, then progressed to my facial features. I still struggle with perception of my body too, just not as unbearable.
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Good luck with your project :)
Sorry my answers are so long, i'm sure much of it you didn't want to know lol.
 

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1) No
2) No
3) Yes because most people are bigger than me and it is a lot of times intimidating.
4) Too many risks
5) All of my family is overweight, among other things in everyday life.
 

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Cheese.
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Like many, I've never been diagnosed. I hope I can help though :)


1.) Have you ever experienced Major Depression as a result of your BDD? Have you ever been suicidal or had suicidal ideation/thoughts?

Yes. I'm not sure I've experienced major depression, but I definitely get upset about how I look in the mirror, resulting in suicidal thoughts.. crying.. avoiding going out. Etc.

2.) Would you say that your experience mirrors OCD or no? (Such as - checking mirrors compulsively or picking at your appearance obsessive-compulsively.)

I would say neutral. I do tend to look in the mirror A LOT before going out or if anyone is around. Eventually I realize nothing will be fixed or will help me feel better, so I just stop and wallow in my self pity. But when I'm outside, I hate having to pull out my mirror to see myself. I feel watched by others. And judged. Maybe they think I'm self centered, etc.

3.) Do you think your Social Phobia is connected with your BDD?

Definitely. I've always been teased about my weight ever since I was young. I was the odd one out. It's affected how I see others, and how I see myself. I always feel that people are laughing at me, watching me, judging me, talking about me.... And that distorts my view about myself even more.

4.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery?

All the time. I want a breast lift.. I want to get my nose done because I have a bump. I wish I could get lipo but definitely not something I want to do, only because I feel like it would help more eating healthier and exercising.

5.) Do you recall anything that could have caused BDD in you? Such as abuse, bullying etc.?

Definitely the teasing in school about my weight. My low self esteem made dealing with this much more harder. I'm also convinced my mom played a huge role in who I am today. Although she's showed me great things, many others had a negative impact on me. She's angry, dominant, and I would classify as verbally abusive. She's a great person deep down (seriously), but those characteristics are unfortunate and unhealthy for a young child to grow up with.

If you have more questions, let me know. I'm all in for the name of school and research :) Good luck!
 

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Cheese.
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For those that said they would get plastic surgery - do you think that would cure you from the BDD? Because most studies say that people with true BDD tend to just switch to another aspect of their appearance or the plastic surgery makes their focus on that aspect worse.
It probably won't cure my low self esteem and how I perceive myself, because that's how I've felt for YEARS, but it will probably raise my self esteem by 2% lol. To be honest, I used to hate my nose A LOT! Now, not so much. I can live with it, but if I were given a free nose job, I'd take it. I wouldn't worry about what I look like from the side, or how my nose will look in pictures.. Breast lift? It'll help me feel better naked LOL. Aside from stretch marks and being heavier than I'm supposed to, at least I'll have perky boobs. Sounds so shallow, but that's what I feel when it comes to me. I don't have this perception for others. More power to you if you embrace your body no matter what :)..

I think getting surgery would have the same effect as someone who pretties up their hair or buys nice clothes: it helps boost up their confidence. After all, I would love to be looked at and have someone say I'm beautiful, not look at me and say wow look at her bumpy nose, and she's fat? :roll
 
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