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Most of the time i dont care about social status, but that really because im never social.
But my social anxiety is about social status.
This doesnt mean that i need to be at the top, or that i need to be in the spotlight, in fact i dont want any of these things.
But the kind of respect, support, consideration, patience, tolerance and all other good things which are reserved for the 'kool kidz' in the classroom or in the workplace is what i want.
And when i say want i mean that if i cant have these things i dont want to be in the situation one second longer.
This is basically why im in the situation im in.Someone made a thread about clingy people, i am the polar opposite of clingy, the instance i even imagine that im unwanted, disrespected or seen as a third wheel or someone who is just 'tolerated' i am outta there forever.
I have been in situations where i have felt like the lowest of the low, and noticed how people see you as a retard, weirdo, probably 'special' and insane and mentally challenged.
I can hardly describe in words how i despised those situations.It's the reason i misinterpret smiling and laughing as ridicule, the reason why certain facial expressions and gestures just fills me with rage and can ruin my entire day.
I dont want ever again for the rest of my life to be in any situation where i am some sort of 'low caste', as far as i am concerned it is the most revolting things you can experience in life...
But my social anxiety is about social status.
This doesnt mean that i need to be at the top, or that i need to be in the spotlight, in fact i dont want any of these things.
But the kind of respect, support, consideration, patience, tolerance and all other good things which are reserved for the 'kool kidz' in the classroom or in the workplace is what i want.
And when i say want i mean that if i cant have these things i dont want to be in the situation one second longer.
This is basically why im in the situation im in.Someone made a thread about clingy people, i am the polar opposite of clingy, the instance i even imagine that im unwanted, disrespected or seen as a third wheel or someone who is just 'tolerated' i am outta there forever.
I have been in situations where i have felt like the lowest of the low, and noticed how people see you as a retard, weirdo, probably 'special' and insane and mentally challenged.
I can hardly describe in words how i despised those situations.It's the reason i misinterpret smiling and laughing as ridicule, the reason why certain facial expressions and gestures just fills me with rage and can ruin my entire day.
I dont want ever again for the rest of my life to be in any situation where i am some sort of 'low caste', as far as i am concerned it is the most revolting things you can experience in life...
