[gollywell]

For some time I have been having problems with life, recently I have started going to see a counsellor in order to help me deal with them, and there has been some progress made in that I feel more comfortable in some respects.

There is still something that proving to be quite a problem though.

The thought of meeting new people is terrifying. If I try to make a an arrangement (Trying to avoid the word date as it doesnt really apply to every time this happens) to meet someone I can never follow through on it. I become so anxious about it that I cancel the arrangement or just avoid turning up. This has been the case for at least 9 years.

The current friends I have, and its been the same group for some time now, I only meet them in situations where I know alcohol is going to be present and when it is present I drink it to such a degree that I suffer blackouts and normally cant remember what happened. I like them but I dont feel comfortable being sober around them - in fact the last time I stayed sober I had to cut the night short and go home.

There are other stupid/strange things like the fact that I can get on with colleagues at work but whenever there is talk of a social gathering I make my excuses and avoid it.

I eat my breakfast in a toilet cubicle (Usually as soon as I arrive at work and it is quieter) because I dont want to go to the office canteen when it is packed - and it is always packed at breakfast. I eat my lunch at my desk for the same reason.

There are other things but I dont want to make this post too long.

I'm not anti-social, I really want to feel able to meet people, but I shy away from it. It annoys me, it depresses me too, and I feel like I will never be able to overcome it at times.

As I aid at the start, I already am seeing a counsellor, so I am going to bring this up and see whether 1) it fits in with what is considered Social Anxiety and 2) if he can treat me for it.

If anyone has any thoughts or opinions I'd be interested to know them.

 

[sb408]

I'm not anti-social, I really want to feel able to meet people, but I shy away from it. It annoys me, it depresses me too, and I feel like I will never be able to overcome it at times.

Sorry to say, but this is fairly normal with people that have SAD, me being one of them. People without it can't comprehend how someone can be "paralyzed" with simple tasks like meeting new people or simply being in a public setting, without the person actually wanting to be that way. What I am trying to say is SAD isn't a choice. If I had the choice to be "normal" and not so intimidated by certain things, I would. Most actually want to be social , but don't know how since the disorder causes you to second-guess yourself at the most insignificant things.

 

[gollywell]

Sorry to say, but this is fairly normal with people that have SAD, me being one of them. People without it can't comprehend how someone can be "paralyzed" with simple tasks like meeting new people or simply being in a public setting, without the person actually wanting to be that way. What I am trying to say is SAD isn't a choice. If I had the choice to be "normal" and not so intimidated by certain things, I would. Most actually want to be social , but don't know how since the disorder causes you to second-guess yourself at the most insignificant things.

Thanks for the reply.

It's kinda messed up I but I am going to at least try to get over this because if I dont I will forever lead this life which is totally unfulfilling.

Good luck.

 

[Aron James]

What is a social encounter/interaction/situation and what does it mean?

It's worth asking yourself the question. Because the meaning will become clearer.

Anyone who avoids in such ways has a different meaning attached in their mind. But, when the meaning becomes clearer, the objective becomes clearer.

When you really think about it and work out its all about having an interesting and fun time as possible, you can realise that to do this for yourself all you have to do is make all social encounters a game you play instead of something you have to do like a fight in a the lions den.