Social Anxiety is a treatable disorder!
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The standard explanation for all the negativity is that it's almost all "beginner SA people", meaning people just starting to deal with the disorder. "The story" goes that as people move forward in their recovery, they tend to drift off from the SAS site. From my own experiences here, I believe this is the case.
So.............
You end up with mostly negative type posts because the more positive ones have moved on.
So.............
You end up with mostly negative type posts because the more positive ones have moved on.
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1,842 Posts
I do believe that SA is due to mental illness but that most SA can be overcome. However, those with anxiety disorders/depression, I feel will always be sensitive by nature and never completely get over it.
I do believe though that we can be stronger in dealing with it and that even though we may always have fear or anxiety we can at least do what we have to do and not avoid everything that comes our way.
I do believe though that we can be stronger in dealing with it and that even though we may always have fear or anxiety we can at least do what we have to do and not avoid everything that comes our way.
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Flower, if I may make some clarifications on the behalf of my drunken, negative, self-pitying posts.
First off, my SA makes me unable to discuss the matter with the people I would need to first, my mom and dad. I can't apply for SSI without them (at least I'm pretty sure). I don't even know if I have health insurance anymore, and if I do, I'm still afraid to talk to my dad (who I would be covered under) about psychologists, getting meds and what not. So, I feel stuck in this existence.
I also don't know if I'd even want to take meds, or have to depend on getting rides to see a shrink. If I did get help, I don't want any of my family to know. And, so, here lies my diliemna. I try to look at it differently. I try to look at all of the different angles of the situations and how I can escape this reality. What you see on this board isn't all I am. I'm not miserable now. I may be tonight, but I do believe that if the events of the day were to go differently, say a friend came over, I would be a little more happy about things. It's hard not to be depressed when you are stuck in your room with no one to talk to or call.
First off, my SA makes me unable to discuss the matter with the people I would need to first, my mom and dad. I can't apply for SSI without them (at least I'm pretty sure). I don't even know if I have health insurance anymore, and if I do, I'm still afraid to talk to my dad (who I would be covered under) about psychologists, getting meds and what not. So, I feel stuck in this existence.
I also don't know if I'd even want to take meds, or have to depend on getting rides to see a shrink. If I did get help, I don't want any of my family to know. And, so, here lies my diliemna. I try to look at it differently. I try to look at all of the different angles of the situations and how I can escape this reality. What you see on this board isn't all I am. I'm not miserable now. I may be tonight, but I do believe that if the events of the day were to go differently, say a friend came over, I would be a little more happy about things. It's hard not to be depressed when you are stuck in your room with no one to talk to or call.
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Flower...reading your posts reminds me of a saying. "If I keeping doing what I've done, I'll keep getting what I got." I'm at a point in my life where I am fed up with the way things are - and I won't tollerate it to continue. The %#^$ negative tapes in my head are getting to the toxic level and I am fed up. Time for a new deal.
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Flower...I have often wondered if the times that I "wasn't depressed" was just that the level of depression wasn't causing pain. I wonder if the facets of my feelings have been accustomed to pain and that the lack of pain would trigger my belief that I wasn't all that depressed. I wonder if "survive" was the goal I was setting for myself when maybe it could be "thrive." Maybe I have cut my recovery off as soon as the pain wasn't my focus. Lack of pleasure is also an aspect of depression. Just my ramblings...
True. My SA therapist said that it's very necessary to take care of depression first, and then deal with the social anxiety. Depression, she said, intervenes with anxiety. When you're depressed it's hard to want to socialize, or even get out of bed. How true....flower said:Beating anxiety should be a piece of cake after coming out of depression. At least I hope so.
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treating depression first
It makes a lot of sense to treat the depression first...I never really though about it before....hmmm.
Paulaopcorn
It makes a lot of sense to treat the depression first...I never really though about it before....hmmm.
Paula
opcorn
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51 Posts
Flower, just remember if you are feeling totally drained at some point, you are trying to pull the negative folks up to your level. Some stupid cosmic law says "they can pull you down to their level but you can't pull them up to yours". I have learned and verified this law more times than I care to think about.
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873 Posts
Dear SAers,
I have struggled withdepression, SA, an eating disorder, and other afflictions all my life and I just turned the big 5-0, but I can tell you, it's worth the fight! You are worth the fight for recovery.
Do whatever it takes! Please be gentle with yourselves. We have all been where you are.
Please also try and remember you are important to someone, somewhere in this world and you have made a difference in their life somehow.
Don't give up.
Is it easy? Hell no! Are you worth it? Hell yes!
There, I'll get off my soapbox.
opps, just one more little thing--you are somebody by being an author on this site!
I love all you guys/gals--you have made a difference in my life. And I am learning something new every day!
leilanistar (I'm a tough old battleaxe, but I refuse to let this damn affliction defeat me!)
I have struggled withdepression, SA, an eating disorder, and other afflictions all my life and I just turned the big 5-0, but I can tell you, it's worth the fight! You are worth the fight for recovery.
Do whatever it takes! Please be gentle with yourselves. We have all been where you are.
Please also try and remember you are important to someone, somewhere in this world and you have made a difference in their life somehow.
Don't give up.
Is it easy? Hell no! Are you worth it? Hell yes!
There, I'll get off my soapbox.
opps, just one more little thing--you are somebody by being an author on this site!
I love all you guys/gals--you have made a difference in my life. And I am learning something new every day!
leilanistar (I'm a tough old battleaxe, but I refuse to let this damn affliction defeat me!)
Flower- Thank you so much for your positive attitude and positive posts. You seem like a very intelligent, strong person and I thank you for sharing that with the rest of us. It has also frusterated me that so many ppl are so negative on this site because I was optimistic about my recovery at first, when I learned that it was treatable. Then, after talking to so many ppl who were pessimistic about it, I thought that maybe I was a fool for thinking I could overcome it. However...as I learn more about it through research I realize that I can rely on myself to get better. I just also need to be able to relate to other positive saers. I am very happy to read your posts, thanks!!!
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Flower and Jess - I thank you both for your positive words and encouragement. If you think about it - we are fortunate. We have the opportunity to take an honest look at ourselves and grow as people because of it. Will I ever have a "perfect" cure? I think that would imply that I would be "perfect" and I really don't want to aim for perfection. I want peace and happiness in my life - and that means I don't want to live constantly scrutinizing every move I make and punishing myself for every perceived flaw. I want to surround myself with people who support my recoveryand put distance between me and those who don't. I don't want to live with the weight of the world on my shoulders or in a state of constant gloom. I am hopeful because I see small changes in myself from month to month. I work hard in therapy - I say exactly what is on my mind and if something is uncomfortable - I say that too and talk about it as much as I can get out. Going back to where I was is not an option...I refuse to live like that any longer. Nothing or no one else gets a say in this...it is my decision...period.
Great to see you're doing well,
flower! :banana :banana :banana :banana
I agree that for most SAers, the solution is within YOU! A shrink may help you give some understanding and support that can be useful for some but you have to do the work. Personally, I did most of the work by myself and never used medication. Even changed my carreer because of my anxiety / low self esteem. But the recent half year has been so awesome and in most social situations I feel no anxiety at all. The only place where I feel the most anxiety is Toastmasters because about 6 years ago I conditioned a lot of anxiety to it but even there I improved a lot since last summer and I do believe that I can give a speech with no anxiety at all! The whole world seems very different now as I feel like I'm a very different person.
Somehow I always had the motivation from self or pressure from circumstances to try to find a solution. It wasn't easy but I managed to find the resources that helped my transform myself.
Good luck to everyone!
flower! :banana :banana :banana :banana
I agree that for most SAers, the solution is within YOU! A shrink may help you give some understanding and support that can be useful for some but you have to do the work. Personally, I did most of the work by myself and never used medication. Even changed my carreer because of my anxiety / low self esteem. But the recent half year has been so awesome and in most social situations I feel no anxiety at all. The only place where I feel the most anxiety is Toastmasters because about 6 years ago I conditioned a lot of anxiety to it but even there I improved a lot since last summer and I do believe that I can give a speech with no anxiety at all! The whole world seems very different now as I feel like I'm a very different person.
Somehow I always had the motivation from self or pressure from circumstances to try to find a solution. It wasn't easy but I managed to find the resources that helped my transform myself.
Good luck to everyone!
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It's ironic that this thread would come back to me today. I read my message from late November - and it was something I needed to see. I agree Tony, it is far easier to stay the same. I often feel lazy and don't want to expend the effort to do the things I need to do. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm worth the effort. But I am worth the effort and worthy of living a happy life.
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flower
flower you are soo right !! I read everywhere that SAD is HIGHLY curable ! So i wonder why everyone on here seems so hopless and negative ..... IF YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH YOU WILL GET IT . anything is possible thats what i think .. SO START DANCING :banana :banana
flower you are soo right !! I read everywhere that SAD is HIGHLY curable ! So i wonder why everyone on here seems so hopless and negative ..... IF YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH YOU WILL GET IT . anything is possible thats what i think .. SO START DANCING :banana :banana
I have to agree. It's important to take personal responsibility, especially for those of us who have the resources. When I'm feeling badly, I need only to remind myself, "I do not suffer from cancer, HIV, or even psychological disorders such as depression or schizophrenia. I do not live in abject poverty. I have the means to improve my situation."
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Flower,
It's true that there is a lot of negativity in the majority of the posts. I have to remember that we all have varying degrees and are at different stages.
There does seem to be a problem with the lack of triumph posts. When we do something good, we should post it to let others know how we did it. That way, it gives them hope that they can do the same without SA getting in the way.
Sorry for ranting,
millenniumman75
It's true that there is a lot of negativity in the majority of the posts. I have to remember that we all have varying degrees and are at different stages.
There does seem to be a problem with the lack of triumph posts. When we do something good, we should post it to let others know how we did it. That way, it gives them hope that they can do the same without SA getting in the way.
Sorry for ranting,
millenniumman75
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