Today was my first day back at work in 3.5 weeks (I was in intensive therapy for 2.5 weeks of that time) and everything was going okay, then I decided it would be a good idea to get everyone to go out to lunch. I thought I would be ok, especially since not too much was even coming up about me being gone for so long and where was I, but it was just that old feeling that came creeping back in saying "I don't fit in".
It was the same old thing, I felt like I didn't have anything to say, the things I did think of to say seemed to pale in comparison to what other people were talking about, when I did manage to talk about my weekend I felt flustered the whole time and that I sounded like an idiot so basically the whole time at lunch I didn't talk much, just reacted to what other people were talking about and by the end of it I felt like I'm just totally socially awkward...like what the hell is so hard about making small talk and having conversations with coworkers. It should not be this hard. I know they are just co-workers and not to get so emotional about it but it's still that feeling of not being able to just have normal conversations with people.
I guess I'm just venting, but it's a really frustrating feeling. I feel like in my therapy I learned how to be comfortable out in public and with strangers, which is great, but I still can't hold a real conversation with a peer....I honestly can't remove the mental block to using CBT and exposures to work on that kind of stuff. What am I missing?
It was the same old thing, I felt like I didn't have anything to say, the things I did think of to say seemed to pale in comparison to what other people were talking about, when I did manage to talk about my weekend I felt flustered the whole time and that I sounded like an idiot so basically the whole time at lunch I didn't talk much, just reacted to what other people were talking about and by the end of it I felt like I'm just totally socially awkward...like what the hell is so hard about making small talk and having conversations with coworkers. It should not be this hard. I know they are just co-workers and not to get so emotional about it but it's still that feeling of not being able to just have normal conversations with people.
I guess I'm just venting, but it's a really frustrating feeling. I feel like in my therapy I learned how to be comfortable out in public and with strangers, which is great, but I still can't hold a real conversation with a peer....I honestly can't remove the mental block to using CBT and exposures to work on that kind of stuff. What am I missing?