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....that I make myself look stupid.Anyone else do this? I do it at work as an adult just like I did at school as a child.I'm just so unsure of myself that I ask questions I already know the answers to,answers that other people know should be obvious to me. To make it even worse, I get so panicky that I start f*****g for real.Classic low self-esteem at its best.
 

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Every single day when i walk to and from my car. I worry so much about what my arms and legs are doing that i always end up tripping over nothing and looking like a complete moron. :sigh
 

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I got this from another thread and I think it will apply here somewhat.

Pinzelhead said:
(1) You don't need acceptance from others. Overcome this need for acceptance and your fear of rejection should dissipate.

(2) Be humble. Lower your pride. The lower your pride is the less fear of being humiliated there will be and the less humiliated you will feel. Criticisms, rejections, and negative evaluations from others hurt less this way.

(3) Honesty and openess with others is the best way to go. Hiding from others always breeds fear and anxiety. Be confident with yourself and not ashamed.

(4) Learn to forgive and love other people the way you love yourself. Put other people's needs ahead of yours. Become selfless.
 

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i feel this way sometimes at work too. thats why i am so afraid to move off to the university im transfering to. i will have to get another job an the training is what kills me. i get so nervous over petty things that i mess up an made rediculous mistakes. i know i am a intelligent person but my nervs get in the way making training miserable
 

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Where do you think it comes from? The fear of the criticism and judgment? Why are we afraid of looking stupid?

I'm also afraid of looking stupid, sounding stupid so my comfort level isn't anywhere near as it is when i'm alone

my guard is up around people, moreso than running into a wild animal i think
 

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I'm so afraid to sound stupid that it kept me from particpating all semester (made a few feeble attempts in the beginning) in a class that has a 15% participation grade. The prof. even said something to me about it outside of class like "if your afraid of sounding stupid -you don't."

It wasn't enough, in fact it might have put more pressure on me to speak. I felt so inept after I left that class every time, that I either skipped it or cried about it after class was over.
 

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random thought

doing the things I do around people i'm very apt on trying not at times to look negative

around certain people i see myself trying to hold still, telling myself to keep it together because i don't want to do something considered "bad" around these people

where did i learn that certain behavioral actions were considered bad? if i was naive or just ignorant to such actions i wouldn't even worry in the first place but over time i guess past memories accumulated, i have so much built into me that i'm making sure i don't do certain things

that all doesn't help with the issue though or does it? if i randomly do something like flail my arms, people would look at me strangely but why the fear of their reactions in the first place....what exactly is being hurt by their odd gazes or something they might say....
 

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being scared of looking stupid is kinda the foundation for every branch of social anxiety. the thing is, most of the time you THINK you look stupid, you don't really look stupid at all. the biggest challenge is actually realizing this :/
 

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TreeFrog said:
I'm so afraid to sound stupid that it kept me from particpating all semester (made a few feeble attempts in the beginning) in a class that has a 15% participation grade. The prof. even said something to me about it outside of class like "if your afraid of sounding stupid -you don't."

It wasn't enough, in fact it might have put more pressure on me to speak. I felt so inept after I left that class every time, that I either skipped it or cried about it after class was over.
That was me in my English seminar class. I think the only times I talked was when I was assigned to lead the class discussion one day and assigned to respond to someone's presentation another. In a way, I kind of blame professors for not enforcing participation more - not in a strict way, but somehow trying to get people to participate. It's too, too easy to sit there like a bump on a log and still get an A or a B for the class. (This was a seminar class, I almost never participated, and got a B!) And I don't usually care enough to want to participate. It's not worth the stress of trying to fumble around to get out what I want to say in a coherent way that somehow resembles the thoughts in my head. I can be quite masterful at responding in my head, but a complete mess when I try to convert it into vocal waves ...
 

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That's everywhere I go. Can't do anything without someone having to comment on it like I messed up. Talking, buying items from a store, asking a question, etc. If I get angry at them, they look at me like I'M the bad person. It leaves me frustrated and ready to snap.
 

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So scared to look stupid...It makes me look stupid

I'm in a job that I like but they are constantly pushing me to do better, which is a good thing. But I have such a fear of looking stupid I end up looking stupid. We were in a training session and the trainer pointed at random individuals to summarize a video. Everyone immediately responded. When it was my turn my face turned red, my mind went blank and I began to panic. What is wrong with me?? If I could have said something, it would have been better than that. I hate situations like that and when they call a meeting like that, I get physically ill. I can talk to anyone about my job, I even do training sessions of my own. I speak to people much higher up than myself, but when I am put on the spot and not given time to prepare my words, I shut down immediately. How do I fix this?
 

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I'm in a job that I like but they are constantly pushing me to do better, which is a good thing. But I have such a fear of looking stupid I end up looking stupid. We were in a training session and the trainer pointed at random individuals to summarize a video. Everyone immediately responded. When it was my turn my face turned red, my mind went blank and I began to panic. What is wrong with me?? If I could have said something, it would have been better than that. I hate situations like that and when they call a meeting like that, I get physically ill. I can talk to anyone about my job, I even do training sessions of my own. I speak to people much higher up than myself, but when I am put on the spot and not given time to prepare my words, I shut down immediately. How do I fix this?
I feel that same way at school and work! I am very intelligent but if a teacher for example puts me on the spot in class my mind goes as blank as a deer looking in headlights and I trip over my words just getting an acceptable answer out! I would love to defeat this problem also!
 
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