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Out there...
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
...to see if there were anyone there that would be worth still keeping in touch with. Anyone ever do this? This was sort of a spur of the moment thing for me. I must have done this once or twice in the past as well. Most of the people who I know as contacts I seem to have little contact with, especially these days.

I got responses for about half the people I texted. A few of them seemed genuine, like they eventually wanted to meet up. But I have a feeling that a portion of those were half-hearted. Just replying for the sake of it. Of what seems to be the last time I'll ever talk to them.

I guess I don't feel like it's worth it anymore. I always figure, "Why bother to keep attempting to make an effort to keep contact with these people if they don't seem to want to anything to do with me?" Or maybe I'm mistaken, who knows? It just seems that all these people, one by one, have gradually dropped me as a friend. Or as an "acquaintance" (how I HATE that term).

So my question is: Do you feel like everyone is sick of you? Or just dismissive? Do you ever feel like people are inconvenienced by you?

I just feel like I am a friggin' nuisance to people. Or maybe just some of these people once saw me as a nuisance and now don't have to worry about dealing with me anymore.
 

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Dude, how do you think they feel? Maybe they felt this whole time that you didn't want anything to do with them?

Imagine yourself on the receiving end of your texts, and imagine you're feeling all SA-ish. You're gonna ignore or respond with some generic reply.

People grow apart for a lot of reasons. But it takes both people to make it happen. You can't ignore people for months or years and then feel bad about them not enthusiastically replying back.

And did you msg all those people because you genuinely wanted to rekindle whatever relationship you've had with them? Because i guarantee you, if you're genuine and slightly persistent about it, most of those people will respond.

I guess my point is that YOU are the one with problem. You're the one with social phobia. They stopped calling you because you never call them. I'm sorry if it sounds like im being too hard on you but i think it's frickin ridiculous how so many people here cry about how no one calls them and such when i bet that they don't call anyone themselves.

I'm kind of like that too. When no one calls me to hang out on the weekend, i feel low. But if someone does call me, i refuse... BUT i feel good. I rarely call anyone and expecting others to do the inviting all the time is MY problem. And people will eventually start thinking that you don't want anything to do with them anymore.
 

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Meg
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24 Posts
i feel the same way!!! all the time and wenever i tell people that i feel that way they just brush me off and say that im fine and they want to talk to me but i always feel like they r just saying wat i want to here
 

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Me too, me too ! And it's extremely painful when some people that you thought you liked and cared for, and they seem to have liked you in the past, brush you off or call you a nerd or a jerk just because you wanna text them and say Hi, how are you doing? Why some people have to be so mean?
 

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Out there...
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5,124 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Dude, how do you think they feel? Maybe they felt this whole time that you didn't want anything to do with them?

Imagine yourself on the receiving end of your texts, and imagine you're feeling all SA-ish. You're gonna ignore or respond with some generic reply.
The thought of that has crossed my mind. And I figured I would get ignored by most of them as well. Maybe them thinking I've ignored them only to have me suddenly want to keep in touch with them again is confusing. Then again I've made decisions that seem to indicate that I'm a terrible person.

I guess because I know that these people have other real friends and I don't is what was messing with my head.

People grow apart for a lot of reasons. But it takes both people to make it happen.
True. I guess I just find it harder for me to cope with **** because of all the stuff that ****ed me up quite well.

You can't ignore people for months or years and then feel bad about them not enthusiastically replying back.
Of course I can feel bad. It might not be logically reasonable, but most feelings of being let down or upset aren't logically reasonable either.

And did you msg all those people because you genuinely wanted to rekindle whatever relationship you've had with them? Because i guarantee you, if you're genuine and slightly persistent about it, most of those people will respond.
For the most part, I wanted to just completely lose contact with most of these people, so I could start fresh. Then I guess something came over me for me to want to do this. I felt compelled. I have a feeling I won't be too persistent because half-heartedness does not tend to motivate me. But I hope I'm wrong on that.

However, there have certainly been times where I've been persistent and genuine, only to get mostly unenthusiastic (if any) responses. So even though that makes sense, it's not worth a guarantee to me.

I guess my point is that YOU are the one with problem.
I know that I have a problem, but I couldn't help but suspect that you felt quite good at getting this particular sentence down.

You're the one with social phobia.
I thought you wanted to indicate how it might've felt in the other person's shoes. "Imagine yourself all SA-ish on the other end". How do you know it's just me with the phobia. It could be some of them too, they way you implied earlier.

They stopped calling you because you never call them.
But I have called them before. Then most of them started to be less eager to respond. And I decided to not call as much, because they never call me.

I'm sorry if it sounds like im being too hard on you but i think it's frickin ridiculous how so many people here cry about how no one calls them and such when i bet that they don't call anyone themselves.
That's a valid point, and I'm sure a lot of people are guilty of it too. But it feels like I'm the one deciding to make the effort here at least. So maybe that's why I felt more bummed out than usual.

I'm kind of like that too. When no one calls me to hang out on the weekend, i feel low. But if someone does call me, i refuse... BUT i feel good. I rarely call anyone and expecting others to do the inviting all the time is MY problem. And people will eventually start thinking that you don't want anything to do with them anymore.
I think I've gotten used to not being called, so I don't feel as low as I used to. But that's also not good. That I've gotten accustomed to that. I should be upset. I should be upset enough to make me want to do something about it. I just don't know where to begin.

So even though it's possible that these people think I want nothing to do with them, I endure that feeling tenfold.

I know that this is mostly my problem, but I felt I should air this out, so to speak.
 
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