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Discussion Starter #1
I've been drinking a few beers too.

In fact, last night I remember walking up and down the dance floor for a good 15 mins. looking to buy a second beer.

However, even with two beers in my system I still can't bring myself to ask a stranger to dance with me.

Sometimes a girl is dancing near me she actually looks up at me .. but I still feel afraid to take her hand, and pull her towards me.

When I met girls I knew from college at the club, I just greeted them and quickly moved to the other side of the dance floor, because I just couldn't think of a convincing chat-up to get them to dance with me.

Pft, that feeling sucks.

I am past 18 ... dancing with the opposite sex is supposed to be a normal thing , something that I should have mastered by now.

Do you know what its like to be in a club where even 13 y/o's are grinding while you the 18+ man is just there, dancing with himself ?
 

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In 'da 707
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I imagine that feeling sucks, but just don't let it make u forget how great you're doing just for being an SAer goin to a club :) Good luck!
 

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Sucks man. Im 15 and I know what it feels like to be at a dance and be nervous to ask a girl to dance. But one time I just did, and she said no I have a boyfriend lol but you know what it feels better to get that then not to even try at all. Trust me, its worse to stand there than to try at all.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
There have been times I have asked.

I remember a Carnival ( a carnival, think - caribbean jump-up street parade
) .. where I spent a whole 5 hrs. in a street parade .. and every girl i tried to approach just politely side-stepped me.

Well as you can imagine, that did a whole lotta good for my self-confidence.

I just don't get how some guys are allowed to just grab a girl by the waist and start dancing, yet everytime I try .. the girl either side steps me, turns in the other direction, or just says no.
 

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That's disgusting. Who in the world would let their 13-year-old go to a club where they grind all up at people?
 

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Id say just do it! Know that when a female is dancing alone, 9 times out of 10 they are waiting for someone to grab them and keep them company. Who knows, you can meet some really cool people if you take a chance.
*My experience!
 

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Twice I went clubbing by myself, and twice I drank so much to over come my shyness that I wrecked my cars both times. It isn't worth it.

If social dancing doesn't come naturally to you, don't force it. There are plenty of other activities you can do.
 

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So here's the deal. If there's a girl alone at a club, she's probably wanting some action, one way or the other.

So if you see someone who seems interested in you at the club (by the way, if that girls looking at you, she's definitely interested. If she wasn't interested, she'd be too occupied with either her girlfriends or partner to spare a glance at anyone else. And if she's alone on the dance floor; then take the chance. she probably feels lame.) just ask.

By the way, if she's on the dance floor, she's there so she can dance with other people. As long as you don't start kneading her butt as soon you step near her, she probably isn't going to stop you from dancing with her.

If they say no, so what? no one else is probably looking. or cares for that matter. other guys get rejected all the time, so no one's going to single you out as the only guy who was said no to.

If the girl does say no, just make it suave, and say something that can help you deal with having been rejected. like, tell her that you feel embarrassed in a kidding kind of way, give a "i'll see you around" and move on. there's tons of fish in the pond. The likely hood that none of them will want to dance with you is absolute zero.

and do know that not every college student goes clubbing, and easily meets with strangers and can strike up a conversation just like that. If your going clubbing just for the sake of saying "i've gone clubbing", maybe you should try something else. Like, taking a girl you already know, and are comfortable with out, for a dance with a couple of friends. Going clubbing doesn't always imply having to chat up strangers.
 

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I see where you are coming from but I don't think you are giving yourself enough credit. You actually have been getting out, going, doing, and putting yourself in a situation that you aren't comfortable with. I am personally very proud of you!:clap
Just take baby steps and don't get discouraged. Your doing great!
 

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Discussion Starter #12
yea .. thanks for the encouragement people. Its a slow process... by I suppose, slow progress is better than no progress.

I should thank my older brother as well. Now that I am out of college, (and can't use the excuse of school to avoid socializing) he makes sure that I go somewhere at least every other week-end. This Friday he told me to be prepared for the 25th birthday of one of his friends.

Everyone there will be at least 5 years my senior, but hey.. its better than spending the night playing Zelda.
 

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Geese
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Well I take my hat off to you for getting into this situation where you are actually dancing! What you are doing is actually my SA 101, it's the pinnacle of my fears. I hope one day I will be doing the same and can be in the same dilemma as you are now :p

Sure you will find the confidence soon enough, the advice here so far has been good so I guess it just requires you to take that extra little step.
 
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