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When you're in an uncomfortable situation and you're talking to someone you're not comfortable with, do you blank out and not even hear what the other person is saying....especially if its a person of authority giving directions on what to do for a project or something equally nerve-wrecking. i focus on what responses i will make and that i'm nervous. and then i wonder if the person im talking to is wondering why im so quiet. any input would be great except : um, you need help! <----that's obvious.
 

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Hear, See , Be silent
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all the time.......
 

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Story of my life...
 

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I have the same problem. I have a hard time concentrating on others because I am so concerned about myself. I have trouble listening and as a result sometimes result randomly. I find that trying really hard to focus and keeping eye contact helps.
 

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i can never think of anything to say when im nervous, its like all i do is nod along but i never have any idea what to say or what anybody else is saying.
 

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I have this happen to most people I meet. It sucks. I'm always worried what I should say back to them or I'll be thinking "do they like me or not?" and other BS thoughts like that. Being so insecure sucks. It has gotten better as I really try my best to ignore all those useless thoughts swimming in my head and pay good attention to every word the person is saying.
Honestly, all I can just suggest to try really hard to listen and through practice and effort, you'll overcome it in time.
 

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I do this often! One of my friends is always saying "you didn't hear what I just said, did you?" It is worst when speaking to people in authority for me too, I think. The only solution I have heard of is simply to focus on what the person is saying and not yourself - easier said than done. If you notice yourself drift off, bring yourself back to the conversation ASAP. You could try writing key words if appropriate, to keep yourself focussed. If you do drift off during a conversation, a good strategy is to repeat/summarise what the person has said to you, e.g. "OK, so you want me to do XYZ" That way if you have a job to do you won't leave things out. Having said all this, I still have this problem frequently, so clearly I am not using my own strategies very well.
 

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I hate it when I'm so anxious I hear exactly what the person is saying, but can't connect the words with their meanings or make sense of it. It makes me feel stupid, even though I know I'm not. Although, I bet people who don't have social anxiety misunderstand eachother all the time; I think the difference is that they don't take it as a personal failure. I wish I knew how to feel that way.
 

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The problem, I think, is that you feel like you need other people's undivided love and acceptance. You don't need that to be happy or survive, first off. You only think you do. If you want to achieve your goal of not feeling so self-conscious that you can't concentrate on what in going on outside of yourself then you better learn to accept the reality that other people can't hurt you emotionally. Rather, only you can hurt yourself by thinking that others can. You are so self-conscious about how you appear and that the other person may not like you for who you are because of imagined or real but way blown out of proportion defect that will cause the person to not completely accept you. Once you learn, with tremendous practice and determination, to unlearn these tendencies, you will start to get better. Also, I understand that it would be preferable not to act in a fearful way when it involves your job but the more you think along the lines that any failure on your part will not be devastating (because you have a choice to look at failure as an opportunity to improve rather than catastrophizing) and that you most certainly can survive setbacks, then you will be able to concentrate outwardly. I think its just a matter of your irrational belief that you absolutely need to be accepted by everyone unconditionally (which will never ever happen no matter how hard you try). Be willing to make mistakes, don't wallow in despair after you made the mistake, and look at it as a minor occurrence that you can learn from.
 

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I used to constantly be thinking about what I could say while other people were talking to me and not even hearing what they said. Now I know that the key to figuring what to say next is to listen to them very intently. Whatever they are talking about usually leads to something you can add or ask.

They say that 2/3 of conversation is listening.
 

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Only happens to me with the initial introduction. "Hi my name is ...., nice meet you." I always have to ask "what was your name again?" at some point usually because I never register their name. After asking again, I usually remember it.
 

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Me too...I'm always saying what, what, what????? People probably think that i have a hearing problem....well i hope thats what they think...
 

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That happens to me all the time too; authority figures are the worst and people I've never met before or don't know well. It only bothers me in that I fear I must seem like an idiot to other people. When I do try to respond, I often stumble over my words or have a hard time putting my thoughts into words . . . but anyway, yay, I can most definitely relate.
 

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Oh yeah! I do this all the time. Most of the time the people who made the harrowing mistake of talking to me realize I'm not listing because of my robotic "Uh huh" replies. Even when they weren't asking a question.
 
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