[Ryukil]

Basically am I supposed to let social anxiety be? Not fight against it? Mindfulness and acceptance? Then it will go away? lol

 

[Ryukil]

You know, they say that the worst thing you can do is fight against it. Probably I'm thinking a lot that I need to figure out how to deal with my anxiety. I need to fix it. You know? Well I guess I should change my thinking to "You don't have to fix it." "Fix what?" Know what I'm saying...?

 

[Daktoria]

Yep.

Well... it's a little more complicated than that.

Step one is mindfulness.

Step two is sustainability. If you're mindful, but don't establish a sustainable way of life, then you relapse out of boredom.

Step three is fulfillment. Once you're sustainable, you need to live a life with purpose so you don't feel like a machine.

Step four is affiliation. Once you're fulfilled, you need to live among company so you don't feel alone.

Step five is giving back. Once you're in good company, you need to help others so you feel remembered and don't take your own success for granted.

By that point, you've done it all, so you're ready to pass on and let the next generation take your place.

 

[Jawi96]

Thing of it like.. breathing manually. exactly.

 

[a degree of freedom]

I feel like some people fight too much and need to accept more. I also feel like some people accept too much and need to fight more.

 

[masterridley]

Well, the whole mindfulness business is a bit ridiculous if you ask me. BUT.

As every other thing, it has some legitimate points! For example, focusing
on your breath and observing the anxiety in you with a "compassionate"
mind will often lead to you relaxing and an I don't give a f*** attitude.

Your mind will tend to wander to the next social encounter but you will
re-direct it towards the observing of your breath. In a way, you'll accept
that your feelings are the way they are but you'll also see that they are
not you, you are just an independent observer, nomsayin?

If you want to read about it with the least possible bull****,
read The Mindfulness Solution by Ronald D. Siegel.

Or you can download it from here:
http://www.filestube.com/search.html?q=mindfulness+solution+everyday&select=All

 

[Jeffrey F]

Well the "not fighting it' method would only help in reducing your feelings of anxiety but it wont solve the lack of talking that some of us have.

 

[Lily of the Valley]

I feel like some people fight too much and need to accept more. I also feel like some people accept too much and need to fight more.

I think this is very well said.

 

[masterridley]

Well the "not fighting it' method would only help in reducing your feelings of anxiety but it wont solve the lack of talking that some of us have.

When I tried to re-direct my mind to just being/breathing etc prior to a
social encounter, it made me less anxious and I was able to talk somewhat
better. Of course, it won't make you a master conversationalist but it works
in a way because it makes you think "ok I can't do anything about it, it's
just who I am and there's no point in acting/hiding myself from others"

 

[Ryukil]

I don't know, but I think maybe a good solution for social anxiety is accepting it, not trying to fight it in any way, but also talking to people, and forcing yourself to be outgoing. You just have to not let your mind realize that by not trying to fight it and talking to people you are trying to fight it. Then you'll get in an obsessive web of entanglement like I often do.