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Yeah everyone is sex-obsessed. In truth the reason i hate hearing about it is because i am 28 and still a virgin. It kind of makes me feel left out. The less i hear about sex the less frustrated i become.
 

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What I gather from that is it sounds like your boyfriend is being really unsensitive when he talks about or at least you feel uncomfortable even if it is appropriate (my guess is it isn't, I would deservedly be slapped by my GF if I ever started blabbing on about past sexual experiences with her or anybody else and for good reason). I would bring it up and tell him you don't appreciate it, otherwise he doesn't know he's done anything wrong.

As far as missing out on sex, you're not missing much. Everyone makes it out to be some huge deal, once you start doing it, one night stands, short term dating, long term dating, whatever, I've done them all, its not a big deal, in fact its kind of a let down, IMO. Especially two people who have never been together before or only recently, vast majority of the time it will be a lot of fumbling around, the two people having no idea where each other want to go with it, and it will probably be ackward and you'll say to yourself, wow THAT was nothing to be anxious about. Once in a blue moon early in a relationship or hook up or whatever, two people will know which each other want, and it's probably because their desires just so happen to line up, so chalk it up to dumb luck.

First time for both people, or even only one person is always ackward, it just is, so that's nothing to worry about, but you only find that out afterwards.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
It seemed to be everywhere today as well. Wish people'd hush up.

I think it's inapporopriate of him or just inconsiderate but you know it was a couple of months ago and I said nothing just was kind of off with him. Now he knows I'm not experienced maybe he'll get it. And I feel stupid that he knows that and I haven't seen him since, but there are circumstances... sort of hope that's the only reason. There's alot of little things I need to try and slip into a conversation but not even conversed in a while. And I still remember it should've let him know at the time but...

I don't really see it as a big deal but at the same time it annoys me when people talk about it and it sort of seems like showing off. Two customers at work, one was talking about her sex life to her friend and I'm just thinking why talk about that... in the middle of a shop... and not even lower your voice. And one of my co workers was talking to my manager about another co worker's private life... I can assume who she was talking about and it's someone I get on well with and I think THAT's inappropriate.
 

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A Living Woman
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Yeah. I think sex is interesting and something to be curious about. I am a virgin but sometimes I want to talk about sex. I want to know things and discuss things so I do talk about it but it's really just a one-on-one conversation in private. I don't like it when people bring it in public and talk all loud like their sex lives are so wonderful and everyone has to know about it. I don't want to be bombarded with sex. It's natural, beautiful, special...but there are other things in the world that are natural and/or beautiful and/or special, and they should get equal conversation time! When someone only talks about one thing most of the time, it makes them boring to me anyway. :p
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I don't think of it as anything, it's just a thing. I have this extreme fear of losing him now I've let myself care about him but I need to be close with him for both of us. I HATE that I find it so hard, I hate myself so much for things like this. Really. I wish he hadn't said that or I hadn't heard it but I mean worse thing's could've happened. I want to get close to him again but he's having problems and I don't want to pester him right now.

I feel like I'm becoming sort of prude but I don't think I really am like that. I don't want to hear about people having sex, I don't want to see it or hear about it. Maybe because I relate it to what I heard or just because it adds pressure and makes it like a big deal. Maybe I just AM sick... really.
 

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When you think of sex, how do you picture it with him?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I don't really picture it.. me and him... Well of couse I do but just how it's been so far and I'm embarassed that I don't know how or know what to do. I do think about it every day though.

I know how it feels when I'm with him... But I just feel sick about thinking of him with other people. I guess I just need to say that, to HIM.That probably sounds stupid to you, it sounds stupid to me too but... i must be pretty ****ed up... it's how it is at the minute.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
^ Lol... thanks.
Getting really sick again today. Emotional. I just want to see him properly I know he's had stuff going on but... I'm just really scared. He won't make plans with me and now I'm scared to but wouldn't have been before. I feel vulnerable contacting him I'm scared he just hates me at the moment. I wouldn't even make plans with friends really cos it's not them I'm thinking about but he would. Some friends asked me to go away for a few days and I just thought **** it I don't feel motivated to do anything because I'm just anxious mostly about this I want to sort it out nothing's a big deal to me. It's just SO frustrating right now. I mean, really.
 

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Take a nice break, discover yourself, learn to deal with these feelings without thinking about him. You are too dependent on this guy for your emotional well-being and it's not healthy for yourself. You have to find another way to let out these frustrations.

You obviously care a lot about him that when you imagine him having sex with other people, it sickens you. It's a good sign, but you have to figure out a way to deal with the fact that most people you'll meet, especially as you get older will have slept with someone else at one time or another. But when you try to think about sex, think about the intimate moments you have with him, how nice it felt to be close and the conversations during those moments. Sex is a beautiful thing if you think of it in beautiful ways. People talk a lot of **** and you don't how true that might be, believe half of what you see, none of what you hear.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thank you that helped. I just have a hard time handling emotions. He's out with a friend now and a little part of me's getting paranoid I don't wanna be like that though. It's been ages since I saw him properly. I'm ok though I know it's stupid getting so worked up but... it's just me... I hate that about myself but...
 

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It's not stupid, it's only natural.

But you know drinking too often can make you have irrational thoughts and do irrational things. Too much of anything can, gives you something to think about. I know what it's like to rely something as a crutch and all it brings is more negative feelings about yourself because you don't feel free. You don't feel people love you because your emotions are altered all the time. Injecting some awareness for what causes some of your thoughts because I been down that road.

I only say this because I care and hope for a happy ending for you two.
 

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I hope you're feeling better now. You do have every right to tell your boyfriend not to talk about his exes. It's just inappropriate, and frankly, he should know better. Not wanting to hear about that stuff is by no means an inadequacy on your part! Does hearing him talk like that make you feel like sex is a pretty cheap thing for him? I think some guys feel like they have to live up to this image of being 'a man' when it comes to sexual conquests, particularly in front of their friends. But their personal feelings on the subject might be quite different. Even though he is more experienced, he might feel just as uncomfortable as you do. With regards to the question about sex and affection... They shouldn't be different things! They might wind up being different things when it comes to one night stands and that kind of thing. But that's not the way it should be in a loving relationship.

And BTW- even though he has stuff going on, maybe you should try to see him. He might appreciate the support too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
It's not stupid, it's only natural.

But you know drinking too often can make you have irrational thoughts and do irrational things. Too much of anything can, gives you something to think about. I know what it's like to rely something as a crutch and all it brings is more negative feelings about yourself because you don't feel free. You don't feel people love you because your emotions are altered all the time. Injecting some awareness for what causes some of your thoughts because I been down that road.

I only say this because I care and hope for a happy ending for you two.
hmm... I don't drink that much that my mood is altered. Thanks for your support you know I really do appreciate it. It's just weird and confuses me because he used to be in touch with me every day and used to try and meet up with me whenever we could. And now... it's just frustrating because I feel like I'm making all the effort and what's coming of it? I've not seen him for more than a few moments since that awkward night. I was worried that I've frustrated him too much.

I hope you're feeling better now. You do have every right to tell your boyfriend not to talk about his exes. It's just inappropriate, and frankly, he should know better. Not wanting to hear about that stuff is by no means an inadequacy on your part! Does hearing him talk like that make you feel like sex is a pretty cheap thing for him? I think some guys feel like they have to live up to this image of being 'a man' when it comes to sexual conquests, particularly in front of their friends. But their personal feelings on the subject might be quite different. Even though he is more experienced, he might feel just as uncomfortable as you do. With regards to the question about sex and affection... They shouldn't be different things! They might wind up being different things when it comes to one night stands and that kind of thing. But that's not the way it should be in a loving relationship.

And BTW- even though he has stuff going on, maybe you should try to see him. He might appreciate the support too.
Yeah it makes it seem cheap and just whatever and I should have let him know my situation sooner but it was moving quite quickly... He just hardly even speaks to me at the moment. And yes he's had stuff going on but I think it was even before that. We were texting before and I just said, I'll see you somtime soon, but said it as a question and he stopped replying. I don't know if I should have been more supportive for him this week but I didn't know what to say and didn't see him, I didn't want to make it worse so just have been giving him space.
 

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Yeah everyone is sex-obsessed. In truth the reason i hate hearing about it is because i am 28 and still a virgin. It kind of makes me feel left out. The less i hear about sex the less frustrated i become.
:agree Never in my life did I think that I'd still be a virgin at this age. But here I am and society's obsession with sex just makes me feel worse about my situation, like I'm defective. Not having to hear about other peoples sex lives every 5 seconds sure would make things a lot easier.
 

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I don't mind hearing about sex, but I hate it when people stigmatize people who aren't having sex as weird or creepy. Okay, I get it, you're not a virgin...not everyone is like you.
 

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...but I hate it when people stigmatize people who aren't having sex as weird or creepy.
Usually people that aren't having sex are being made fun of like "a loser who can't get laid", "no one wants him", etc. but I've never seen anyone regarding them as weird or creepy.
 
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