Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 38 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
9,587 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
to help me learn how to talk to females, I only thought about this until now but when I was a teenager (14) my friend was calling a sex hotline from his phone and told me about it and we did it because we thought it was funny, we did it at his house, we did it on payphone at the church, we even invited another friend to join and listen, this lasted for a few weeks until our parents found out and punished us, but I'm 28 now and I don't know how to talk to females, I'm not trying to talk to them to impress them, I just think it's very pathetic and sad and unheard of for someone not to talk to girls, damn so many years of opportunities I had back then as a kid and teenager, what kind of girl can I talk to now? it's too late now if you think about it, who can I talk to? someone's mother? someone's wife? someone's girlfriend? maybe there will be normal conversation with phone sex, I can make it like that since I will be paying, but I have to think about this more carefully before actually doing it, I don't even want sex, I just want to learn to talk to females who are around my age or a little younger
 

·
ugly ****
Joined
·
7,763 Posts
no offense but i feel those callers are really pathetic, i mean for fun is ok, but i really don't think you can practice on them.. maybe you can call a customer service or something like that, you can even say something dumb like would you go out with me tonight and they can't be rude to you so its fun lol
 

·
Still playing.
Joined
·
7,256 Posts
If you want to, do it. What do you lose except like $20.
 

·
Starlight and moonbeams
Joined
·
20,920 Posts
I called one of those phone sex hotlines when I was like 14. It didn't help me get not nervous around girls.

In fact, the girl who was on the line made fun of me, and thought I wanted a dom. And I got grounded for 2 months because of it.

Of course you're an adult, but I see no reason for phone sex. You're not actually having sex, you know...you'd be better off getting a female therapist, or something like that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18,888 Posts
Phone sex? Oh brother. That reeks of desperation even more than prostitution. At least with the latter, you're actually getting something out of it.

Phone sex, really??? Go out into the real world and chat up any girl you see, man. That's how you practice talking to them.
 

·
Starlight and moonbeams
Joined
·
20,920 Posts
I've said it before:

We need college and high school dating classes, where you're taught on how to talk to the opposite sex.

People assume guys and girls will know this stuff naturally. They don't. I can speak from experience that I've always been lost on how to communicate anything past friendship with women, without either coming off as desperate or clingy.

And the OP is coming from a different perspective, because he was a victim of child molestation, and has questioned his sexuality in many threads here. I think he needs a mentor...hell, I need one, too...and it's a shame that you can't just hire a stand in father figure when you need one.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,857 Posts
I've said it before:

We need college and high school dating classes, where you're taught on how to talk to the opposite sex.

People assume guys and girls will know this stuff naturally. They don't. I can speak from experience that I've always been lost on how to communicate anything past friendship with women, without either coming off as desperate or clingy.

And the OP is coming from a different perspective, because he was a victim of child molestation, and has questioned his sexuality in many threads here. I think he needs a mentor...hell, I need one, too...and it's a shame that you can't just hire a stand in father figure when you need one.
actually they have those, "dating coaches"... and im not talking about the PUA.... like they are people u pay and they go on dates with u and when u make a mistake they tell u what u did wrong.... dont ask me how i know that:um
 

·
Starlight and moonbeams
Joined
·
20,920 Posts
actually they have those, "dating coaches"... and im not talking about the PUA.... like they are people u pay and they go on dates with u and when u make a mistake they tell u what u did wrong.... dont ask me how i know that:um
No, actually they don't.

They did in the 80's, but it was deemed as inappropriate by the vast majority of society. I'm sure in some places there are things like that, but certainly not around here.

The closest thing I have to "knowing what I did wrong" is to pick up The Game or The Mystery Method, and even that is a load of bull. I'd like to know how to win a girl's heart without trying to jump through hoops.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,857 Posts
No, actually they don't.

They did in the 80's, but it was deemed as inappropriate by the vast majority of society. I'm sure in some places there are things like that, but certainly not around here.

The closest thing I have to "knowing what I did wrong" is to pick up The Game or The Mystery Method, and even that is a load of bull. I'd like to know how to win a girl's heart without trying to jump through hoops.
aha its not like a place u go and theres all these dating coaches there... they are more like freelance people u find on the internet or in an add or something and they go have lunch with u like its an actual date... and its not so much about what u did wrong but if u say somethig rude or inappropriate they will tell u and why it is
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
107 Posts
I think its possible that phone sex could help your anxiety. I've done sex chat with my web cam, and found it quite fun, though expensive, and of course far inferior to real conversations and real relationships with real women, but for those of us with sa, you might be years away from a real relationship, and you have the very strong desire to feel sexually connected with a woman, even if its a contrived and essentially meaningless one.

I wish I could do phone sex, and I would, but I'm terrified of it, I've tried a couple times, but it gives me too much anxiety. It could be a good exposure therapy, and possibly a lot of fun, and may help you tap in to your sexual energy, and perhaps build your confidence if you approach it correctly.
 

·
ugly ****
Joined
·
7,763 Posts
Phone sex? Oh brother. That reeks of desperation even more than prostitution. At least with the latter, you're actually getting something out of it.

Phone sex, really??? Go out into the real world and chat up any girl you see, man. That's how you practice talking to them.
hey man.. is it weird to say that i'm really attracted to you.. profile picture
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154,234 Posts
Nope - you have to talk to a real girl, not Bambi #6 on the Phone Sex Hotline.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18,888 Posts
hey man.. is it weird to say that i'm really attracted to you.. profile picture
It would be somewhat unorthodox to mention it here, yes, if you mean my actual profile pic :lol

I assume you mean THIS one, though - here is the blown-up version for you - enjoy:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/members/just-lurking-11301/albums/feel-free-to-lurk/52346/

Nope - you have to talk to a real girl, not Bambi #6 on the Phone Sex Hotline.
Was she really that bad???
 
1 - 20 of 38 Posts
Top