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There is a good possiblity that I will be getting my first job in a few months (at the age of 30 :blush). It would be an entry level job where only a handful of people work. But I would have to deal with numerous different customers on a daily basis. I wouldn't have to say much as I would be just a lowly assistant who takes orders from the people who rank higher, but I'd still have to be around all sorts of different people everyday and possibly have to talk to them briefly.

I'm very nervous at the thought of getting this job, or any job. The only thing that is going to save me from having a nervous breakdown is my potential boss. This guy is super nice and very understanding of things. He's practically a saint. I'm 95% certain that if I tell him I have SA, that he would be very understanding and accommodating. I'm only 95% certain because I reserve the other 5% due to paranoia.

I'm worried that my low self-esteem and OCD are going to screw things up. I worry that I'm going to be too preoccupied with making sure I'm doing things correctly, rather than just being confident that I am doing things correctly. Like, I will probably ask all the time (at least at first) whether I'm doing something right. I think I do that so I'm not criticized later on.

So what I'm wondering is if I'm certain this guy would be understanding and accommodating of my SA, should I tell him about it so he doesn't think I'm incapable of handling the job? My low self-esteem and SA tend to make me come off like I'm incapable of handling a situation when I'm actually very capable of handling it, I'm just always terrified out of my mind and people can't seem to tell the difference.

I should point out that I've known this guy for a few years through where he works. We're not friends, but everytime he sees me after having not seen each other in a while, he always hugs me. Generally, I don't like being hugged, but he always makes me feel at ease, so I don't mind. But he's just as interested in hiring me as I am about working there. I think he views me as his protege. He'd probably be shocked to learn that I have SA because I'm somewhat chatty with him. He himself is like a cure to SA. We should all have someone like him in our lives.
 

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I don't know, this is a tough call.

this could be an opportunity to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, learn some therapy techniques, and apply them to coping with your job, and perhaps you will see that you could handle it all along.

on the other hand, it is a great relief to have people around you that you feel you can confide in and who would understand. and maybe in the short term (or maybe longer), to tell him would, in fact, help you in ways that no one else can foresee.

However, this person will be your boss, after all. is it really his responsibility to make you feel relieved and comfortable and understood while you try to shoulder some responsibility for yourself?

I'm thinking maybe try to do your best with this job on your own at first. maybe look into some therapy that will give you ideas and help on working out a plan on how to coach yourself through your daily work.

After a while, you probably will be able to judge if you need to say something. We all need help from time to time.

It may be that you have felt misunderstood and alone with this for a very long time and simply want someone to confide in about this (who you don't have to pay), and he comes across as a good candidate.

just some things to think about.
 

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i barely read your post but i guess ill read it later.. take a look at your boss whats he like. there are a lot of nice guys who smile and converse w u but if you tell them something they dont like theyl like u less. i had a boss he was a shark and stepped on everyone. did i tell him no he wouldnt care.
 

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Here's what I think.

Keep doing what you are doing, and chat abit with this guy every time you see him.

Since you said you won't be working with him till another couple of months, I suggest you make your conversations with him last a while longer.

One of those days I think that you should plan a way how to tell him you're socially anxious in a way of a joke you can put it.

example... you be outside talking with him and see someone handing out flyers and trying to talk to people... just say... i can never imagine my self doing that job ... talking to those people and trying to self stuff... I get really anxious when I try to do those things, then turn it on him... say how about you?

I'm sure he won't embarice you or something, if he's really as nice as you make him out to be he'll probably just say he's like you :)

Being anxious isn't a bad thing, it's just a work in progress were you improve in time!

Good luck!
 
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