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My fiancee (who I've been with for three years) told me when we met that she had never had sex. Come to find out she has. Her reply? "Well it wasn't really real. Not like with you!"
The thing is that I never cared whether or not she was a virgin. Why would she lie?

I don't know, I really can't see this working out long-term anymore. It tears me apart. We talk about it and she asks me if I've changed my mind about what I want. I haven't. She has, but I don't think she's even relized it yet. Sorry this makes no sense. I'm distressed.
 

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Maybe she just freaked out when you first asked and said what she thought you wanted to hear?
And it snowballed and she felt she couldnt tell you. That is a huge shock for you Im sure, If I found out something like this from my boyfriend Id be in tears. But If I were her, by telling you must mean that she really trusts you
and that she wants to have an 100% honest relationship with you.

I hope you can work things out

:hug
 

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My fiancee (who I've been with for three years) told me when we met that she had never had sex. Come to find out she has. Her reply? "Well it wasn't really real. Not like with you!"
The thing is that I never cared whether or not she was a virgin. Why would she lie?

I don't know, I really can't see this working out long-term anymore. It tears me apart. We talk about it and she asks me if I've changed my mind about what I want. I haven't. She has, but I don't think she's even relized it yet. Sorry this makes no sense. I'm distressed.
She could have been ashamed of it; you never know. You really only have her sentence and the ex's "bragging" so to speak to go on. If you plan to marry her, you have a right to the truth. From that, you should make a judgment and NO DECISION until you have the facts.
 

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The thing is that I never cared whether or not she was a virgin. Why would she lie?
Maybe you didn't care, but she probably did. Maybe she didn't want to come off as someone who has slept around or she thought you would be turned off if you knew she wasn't a virgin? There could be a lot of reasons as to why, but does that really matter though? You said it was when you first met so it's not like she lied about it when you were already in a firm relationship with each other. If she came out and said that she cheated on you, then I can see a reason why you would be so upset, but I think this is one thing that you should let slide. You had three years to find out who she really is as a person so I don't think you should base your decision off of one bad moment from when you first met.
 
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