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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Does anybody else here have problems with shaky hands when you are in the center of attention? For me the two worst ones are being asked to take a photo of a group of people, or having to pour drinks for others. While I've made some good progress in other areas like public speaking, I've found this one really hard to beat. It's also a very noticeable one. After all, if you spill wine all over somebody or your hands are shaking uncontrollably while taking a photo, there is no way people are not going to notice. And when they do comment of course it makes me even more nervous...
 

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Those are 2 very specific events--taking pictures & pouring drinks. I'm going to assume you are not a bartender? :D Can't you just avoid those two situations for the most part?

The other thing you could do is realize that at least you don't have Parkinson's disease, you know? If you look at the big picture, things could be a lot worse. Try thinking about how lucky you are that your hands just shake a little once in a while. No one said you have to be perfect all the time at everything. Its OK to make mistakes sometimes.

I hope this doesn't sound minimizing--I just want you to feel relief when I say don't worry so much about it, people are not as critical as we SA people assume. Actually, other people don't pay nearly as much attention to us as we pay to ourselves. Know what i mean?
 

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Upon further reflection, of course the thing is even if people do notice it is not the end of the world.
Yes, I think this is key. A lot of times, people are so focused on themselves, they don't even notice our anxiety symptoms. But even if they do, it really isn't that big of a deal. Probably not much more than a passing thought to them. Oh, she looks nervous today. That's too bad. What am I going to eat for lunch?
 

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i know exactly how you feel. Once i was at a wedding and had to take a picture where my hand was shaking and i got called out on it as well. I just told the guy i was really nervous but didn't really end up making a big deal out of it. I know i have shaky hands when i'm self conscious about it but if i put it in my head that it's not a big deal then i tend to notice i don't shake as vigorously as if i was self conscious about it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Yeah, you're all absolutely right that it's not the end of the world if my hands shake a little, in the big scheme of things. It's just hard to remind yourself of that in the heat of the moment. And no I am not a bartender, although that might be the quickest way to face my fears. Haha. Actually I used to have trouble with this when I lived in Japan. There the tradition is to never pour your own drink. So when somebody else at the table empties their glass you are expected to pick up the bottle and pour for them. Come to think of it they also love taking photos..
 

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Shaky hands are sometimes a problem for me. I remember having to assist on a surgery and I was putting my gloves on while the patient's father looked on. It took me forever to get them on, it was utterly embarrassing. I was just nervous that he was there and when i looked up he just kept staring at me. All I could do was look at the floor prior to the start of the surgery (which seemed like forever).

More often than not, when I'm anxious I feel awkward and stiff. My extremities are less limber and my posture flexed, or stooped over while I seem to complete a task (for example folding a chair and leaving the room) and I look and feel like a total clutz. In the heat of the moment I don't think about what I'm doing or feeling, and instead continue with getting out of there hurriedly. I have to keep reminding myself to practice what I learn and I'm sure it would be a different response or at least mitigated response the next time I'm in that situation.

Here's an example of a comic that has shaky hands during his bit, but I think you should also note that while its quite noticeable it improves only slightly at the end of his bit. But that doesn't make him any less endearing or funny. The crowd still loves him in the end. The point I take from there is that you are acceptable with shaky hands and all. And that's a comforting thought:

 

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I have a shake in my hands all of the time. I have Essential Familial Tremors. Sometimes it isn't too bad, but other times it is. The time my hands really shake if I am doing something that requires fine motor coordination like threading a needle, holding onto a screw, snapping a photo, etc. My mom also has them and so did her mother.
 
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