[losttheJoy]

I am so glad that I found this forum.

I have recently began coping with social anxiety again after a long period of so-called "normalcy".

I started a new job and I think the stress of it is getting to my mind. I feel like everybody is talking about me and making fun of me... in fact, I'm pretty ceratin that they are. And yes, I know how paranoid this makes me sound. It's so hard to explain. It's like when I ask a question, I have a hard time concentrating and listening to the person answering because of all of the people talking in the background. I feel so stupid and inadequate and it's so strange because it's been so long since I've felt like this. I thought I was "all better".

Now that it's in my head, it's getting to the point where even doing simple, normal things like shopping or getting a haircut make me extremely anxious and I know that the terror shows in my eyes and it's like other people around me pick up on it and start talking really loudly... I feel so embarrassed.

I'm a relatively successful person, have a great job, but this social anxiety is going to kill me if I don't get a handle on it. I literally feel like my head is going to explode. I drove home from work crying the other day because I just felt so helpless. I can hardly talk myself down to keep calm when I am put on the spot or just simply asked to give my opinion.

The worst thing is that this is not me - at home with my family, I'm fine, I'm strong, I'm the rock of the family... but lately, get me outside and I feel like I can't cope. What the heck is wrong with me? I'm even too nervous to go and make an appointment with a dr, but I really think I need to get some help before I lose my mind completely.

 

[miminka]

It's like when I ask a question, I have a hard time concentrating and listening to the person answering because of all of the people talking in the background. I feel so stupid and inadequate and it's so strange because it's been so long since I've felt like this. I thought I was "all better".

I'm glad you found this forum too, and I can relate to you completely. One of the things that's recently been a paranoid obsession for me would be thinking that people can see my computer screen. It's bothering me.

 

[Red Star]

It's crazy cause I don't want to care what other people are thinking of me, but thats always what my mind is thinking about! I know for a fact that I'm not perfect and neither are they!

 

[misfit 101]

I understand completely. The first job I ever got was in sales, strange job to take on for someone who has social axienty me thinks, but worked there for a year and a half. At the beginning was aware that I had a habbit of blushing fairly easily, but had no idea that it related to SA and always thought of it as a minor thing. Anywayz, after working there for a while I found it easy to talk to the customers over the phone, but had many times when my 'so called' workmates would constantly make fun of how red I would go in certain situations, and problem was that as soon as they pointed it out, it would make me go worse and worse until I would have to leave the room in order to regain myself.

This repeated humilation then turned rapidly into a phobia, as I felt that people could no longer take me seriously if I would continuely blush through every social situation. Going to places like to shops, getting my hair cut and talking to my mates, I felt that blushing or having a panic attack was at the for-front of my mind and never could consentrate.

I feel that the job did make me stronger though, as it made my social phobia shine out and forced me to confront it. After a nervous 30 minute wait, talked to my doctor about my problems and he gave me a few med free ways of dealing with it. Shortly after that I quit my job and went travelling by myself to Canada for 8 months, which with my SA, is a massive personal achievment for me!!

The point that I want to make is that your job is obviously the problem, start over and get something new, or confront the problem. Ive tried doing both, and has worked wonders for me!