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Discussion Starter #1
Feeling so down right now. Feel so low...so alone and hopeless.

My situation seems impossible. I don't know what I'm going to do. Have so many crazy thoughts running through my mind.

Feel like I have to get away from here. It's 2am, I want to leave before the sun comes up. I want to get a motel room for a couple nights. Want to drink so bad. Want to hole up in there and drink this away. I feel like I'm loosing my mind the pain is so bad.

And I'm out of medication. I just need kind of some relief.
 

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I am sorry you feel so bad ((((((((((hugs)))))))))
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Well, I didn't drink. Which is good. I've been sober for about 2 1/2 years and almost threw all of that away. When I drink, I can't stop.

I did drive around all night last night, listening to music and thinking about everything. Was going to get a motel room to kind of disappear and not tell anyone where I was at. Decided to save the money and spend it on something more useful. And I felt like playing guitar, so I came back home.

Managed to get a few hours of sleep, then went to the clinic to see about getting more medicine. I have an appointment for tomorrow morning. I was doing a lot better on the Seroquel, but I ran out. They were supposed to give me a 30 day supply but only gave me one week because that's all they had in stock.

I thought I would do all right with out it, but I think I really need it. It's not just depression, although the depression is really bad- I think it's depression mixed with a bit of psychosis, as embarrassing as that is to admit. A doctor told me that my pain gets so bad it basically starts making me a little psychotic. The Seroquel really helps balance me out.
 

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Good job for not drinking. I am very proud of you and I realize it must have been extremely difficult.

I have my only little history of problem drinking. Luckily I caught it early and I can still have 1-2 beers with no problems.

I think the guitar playing probably saved you from throwing your sobriety out the window. I play guitar as well and it has stopped me from doing very stupid things in moments of desperation. Its like you can release your feeling into the music and words and its very cathartic.
 
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