The problem for me is I can't use most of these, physically activity would work, if it weren't for my severe asthma and allergies. And when my breathing is restricted, I panic and gradually I start breathing harder. If I'm in any sort of panicking state, I will start peeling skin out from under my nails, picking at acne which later form into large scabs from continuous over picking. Everything I've tried hasn't stopped me from picking.
I can't distract myself because at times, I'm picking and don't even realize it. When I do realize, It's always halfway through removing a piece of skin and I can't stop then because the skin will just be hanging there and I will always go back to picking, even worse this time, because I can't stand having loose scabs/skin. I've tried calming or upbeat music, but I continue to pick as I'm listening. I can't call someone because my anxiety is worse talking to people on the phone. If I had a pet, I could cuddle them and instantly feel better, but I'm allergic, and my place doesn't allow pets. I can't let out my anger because I will feel guilty if I damage literally anything, and I'm scared that if I scream, nothing will come out. I can't just avoid my triggers because it seems my triggers are any and every single negative emotion and feeling that I feel. I can't just remove myself from the situation that causes this because I'm not in control of most situations. It doesn't matter how much I want to stop or how much I regret it later, it's like the pain is a drug and I'm an addict. I've tried using rubber bands and slapping them on my wrist but it didn't feel the same. It didn't feel "right".
I seriously don't know what to do, my face, arms, chest and back are all covered in open sores and scars, that are all over my legs as well. I have tough skin under my nails and near the tips of my fingers which make me want to pick them even more, and God forbid I notice/feel a loose scab there is a 0% chance it'll still be there within the next 20 seconds along with alot of extra skin around the wound.
I've even tried medication to lower my obsessiveness but it was useless.
If anyone has any more suggestions of things I could try, I'd be very thankful.
I've got a bunch of sensory toys I leave around the house/my car I fiddle with. I was given some techniques today by my psychologist, because I've fallen into some self-harm issues again recently. Apps on phone that have various coping methods, ice/heat pack holding, stuff like that, removing harmful objects from my immediate vicinity.
A moderator pointed me to this post. I've never tried self harm. Doing something physical to myself never made any sense to me. I'm already hurting emotionally, why do I want to hurt physically too? :stu
I think drinking alcohol or smoking something is also a type of "self harm". Because a lot of people do those things to escape the emotional pain.
I really struggle with this I don't physically self harm but I'm emotionally self harming all the time. Sometimes listening to negativistic but ironic music until I get out of a certain mood can help. This is the best band for that and most bands don't get the balance right at all I'd argue they're probably the only people who get it perfect to make it work most music internalises or externalises too much so they don't pull off the right amount of nihilism:
I guess it's kind of absurdism?
They have a live dvd that's uploaded on YouTube which is pretty good, but can't post it cause of some stuff that happens lol. It's called Our Pain Your Gain I think.
Sometimes I listen to them and think 'this isn't going to work I'm in such a **** mood' and it does. And at some point it will stop working and there is no other band that does this so that's not great.
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