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In social situations, I seem to put in the effort at first, and then discouraged somewhere along the way. I start to feel more and more ****ty and more and more paranoid. to the point where i feel like i need to burst out in tears. but in that situation, i can't burst into tears, because its, most of the time, not appropriate.

its just... when your so paranoid and insecure about being social, it always feels like a battle to talk to others. And then somewhere along the way my fire is completely out. and i have no energy and no motivation and no happiness. and i feel like i need to get away... but it never solves anything!

how do i keep my confidence up at all times? how do i avoid being stuck in my own head, feeling like i can't get out? i just wanna be able to relax and enjoy conversation and interaction with others.

whats the secret? i wanna feel good about myself and adequate to the other human species surrounding me. why must i feel so week and unmotivated? why must i always sit on the sidelines waiting to be happy, waiting for my life to begin. i'm sick of it.

i need major help. i just don't know who/what to turn to.
 

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I know what this feels like. Its worse when you are forced into a social gathering, and everyone wants you to be happy. They dont leave you alone, and keep saying "why dont you cheer up?" etc.

If i'm not happy i cannot force a smile. Why bother.

If i'm enjoying myself i will be happy. I'm not going to lie, and pretend i'm happy.

Thats why i get annoyed with the "party people" (extroverts that go to clubs)
I bet half of them dont enjoy it as much as they say, but they put on a happy act. It seems SO FAKE!
 

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Thats why i get annoyed with the "party people" (extroverts that go to clubs)
I bet half of them dont enjoy it as much as they say, but they put on a happy act. It seems SO FAKE!
I'm not an extrovert but when I get drunk I tend to go out to the pub and get amongst the crowd. But I'm always alone when I do and I listen to music on my IPOD :D

But I know what you mean... I just sit there and look at everyone around me and it seems so ****. They're animals man! The majority of our world is ****ed!
 

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If i'm enjoying myself i will be happy. I'm not going to lie, and pretend i'm happy.

Thats why i get annoyed with the "party people" (extroverts that go to clubs)
I bet half of them dont enjoy it as much as they say, but they put on a happy act. It seems SO FAKE!
1. Exactly.

2. Yeah they seem pretty fake to me too. I think to some extent socializing is an act, a game to most people. They don't care if they are themselves, or betray their principles, as long as they look good in the social spotlight. Look at the acceptance of just plain old bad behavior through the use of justifications such as " it's just office politics" "he's just telling it how he see's it", "political correctness if gone overboard" etc I think alot of the loud, arrogant, obnoxious, rude behavior we see these days had to do with our culture. In which everything is about maintaining the facade of positivity, confidence and happiness, and denying the negative impacts of our behavior/actions.
 

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1. Exactly.

2. Yeah they seem pretty fake to me too. I think to some extent socializing is an act, a game to most people. They don't care if they are themselves, or betray their principles, as long as they look good in the social spotlight. Look at the acceptance of just plain old bad behavior through the use of justifications such as " it's just office politics" "he's just telling it how he see's it", "political correctness if gone overboard" etc I think alot of the loud, arrogant, obnoxious, rude behavior we see these days had to do with our culture. In which everything is about maintaining the facade of positivity, confidence and happiness, and denying the negative impacts of our behavior/actions.
You talk ALOT of sense. I like that. You can see exactly what i see.
 

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I get that crap from my bf a lot. If I do not feel like being Mary Sunshine, I won't. I'm not going to pretend to be happy when I'm not. I'll be happy when I'm happy.

It's exactly what you guys are talking about. People walk around pretending to be someone they're not. At least I have the decency not to parade around with a facade.
 
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