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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't really like to talk about this, but my dad passed away when I was 10.

I found out tonight that he died partly because of a genetic heart condition. Worse still, I found out that my aunt passed away from it as well. Both were in their forties.

I'm scared ****less, basically. I'm scared I might have it, my brothers could have it, my sister could.

I had a heart test that turned up normal just a few days ago, but I'm still scared out of my ****ing mind.

I never knew my dad had genetic heart problems. And I hate my mom for being a ****ing liar and not telling me because she didn't want me to be scared. Does she honestly think this is better, hearing it from someone else?

I don't know what to do. None of my dad's other five siblings had it to my knowledge, and my mom doesn't carry that gene, but I'm still scared. Scared absolutely ****ing ****less.

I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs. The worst thing I do is be a fat pig, which I'm trying to change through diet and exercise.
 

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Hm this is tricky cause it'll probally be in the back of your mind for awhile and it's one of those things you can't just stop thinking and worrying about. I'm that way too when it comes to thinking of conditions/illness i may get in the future.. It's great that you don't smoke/drink/ do drugs though. the only reassurance i can give is as long as you excerise and eat healthy chances are you have nothing to really be concern about. I believe anyone can be healthier as long as they take care of themseleves.. My suggestion: if you want to excerise more get a gym pass and a buddy to go with that way you get more moviated into a routine and its more fun. As for the diet.. personally this is my own biggest problem XD i guess that just all comes down to will power and commitment. Oh and one more thing don't stress!! this ones the most difficult cause we all must deal with it in our daily lives, but if you can avoid unnesscary stress to yourself you'll be doing good.
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah.

I've lost 17 lbs so far which definitely helps. My dad was very overweight when he died.

I guess the wild card is my aunt. I don't want to get into it, but I know that my dad took terrible care of himself and his body. But my aunt died too. Which tells me that out of the seven children, two died of heart problems. I read that heart problems are dominant and have a 50/50 chance, which means that I may have an aunt/uncle that had the condition but didn't die from it (I don't know them).

My aunt...no clue. She was probably overweight, as I inherited a weight problem from my dad and my body resembles those of his sisters. But whether she smoked, drank, or did anything stupid is unknown to me. My mom's lies have to stop. Tomorrow morning I am confronting her and asking whether my aunt smoked or did anything else that led to her early death.

I may have to go to a cardiologist now that I know this and get screened for everything. I am so scared that I might have an enlarged heart, high cholesterol, blockages, clots. It scares the crap out of me, it really honestly does.

This sucks beyond words.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I don't even know.

My dad made many mistakes that led to his death but what scares me is the aunt who died, possibly just from the heart condition and being fat. Since I'm fat, it's scary...and she was only in her forties.

I don't want my siblings to have it either. This is just an absolute nightmare. My mom not telling me, I can't even put it into words. I am just pissed. To lie about something like this is a deadly mistake.
 

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Sorry for your loss. It's great that you're going to see a cardiologist. I have an uncle who died of a heart disease, but that was because he's a heavy smoker, never exercised and had a really, really bad temper. I guess if you don't smoke, don't drink, exercise regularly, keep your calm and keep a healthy diet, you should be just fine. About your mom, maybe she doesn't want to make you worried or something..
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I don't really want to see a cardiologist, honestly. I just wish this nightmare could be over.

I've been getting a racing heart lately but I thought it was just anxiety. Now I have something new to worry about.

My mom lied, which is the worst thing she could have done for me and my siblings. All these years I've been acting like I wasn't at risk, when I was. I think with these types of conditions, I have a 50-50 chance of inheriting it. And if my aunt lived a somewhat healthy life and still died in her forties, that's really bad news for me and my siblings.

I'm just scared, I feel so alone.
 

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First off, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I get way too interested in my health sometimes, worrying about stuff that almost certainly won't happen. When I am really at risk for something, I can get in a near panic until I talk myself down. In my case, information usually calms me down.

If I can pry, how did you find out? Any chance the information is from a faulty source?
 

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I actually do have heart problems (aortic valve stenosis and mitral valve prolapse), 2 of 3 uncles died as teenagers from heart problems (definite family history) and I smoked for 24 yrs. But I am 43, still alive, and feeling good.

I guess my point is, I doubt you are on the edge of dying, altho it can feel like that when you find out info that had been hidden from you, as you say, and of course that might make it seem like it's a huge danger (and that's why no one told you), when it may not actually be.

I would definitely go to a cardiologist, tell them of your family history and that you are worried about whether you have something wrong with your heart. (And you should also find out what the medical term of what your father had is.) Going to the cardiologist will ease your mind i bet.

As for you feeling betrayed by your mother, IDK, maybe after a while you can talk to her about why she kept that info from you. (My mother died when i was 5 and I didn't know the real reason until I was an adult--that the doctors failed to give her the antibiotics she asked for and she got an infection that spread to her heart. I grew up believing that she was "poisoned by the doctor." Which is scary to a 5 yr old. When i did finally find out, I was mad that no one bothered to inform me of the real reason when i was old enough to understand, like when i was a teenager. Instead I went fishing when I was 19 and got it out of someone else.)

Anyway, I hope you can go to the cardiologist and find out that if you do have something wrong, it's nothing that's gonna kill you. In my case, I'm not allowed to play basketball or go running or anything overly exerting like that. Good luck! :)
 

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I don't really want to see a cardiologist, honestly. I just wish this nightmare could be over.
Well, you have to, running away won't solve the problem. If you have it (let's hope not) at least you have an early diagnosis, which can be life-saving. Oh yeah, and check out this site. All the best!
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Why?

There are people with no family history who drop dead from heart conditions.

I don't need to worry any more than I already am. I can't deal with this **** right now, I'm sorry. No I am not reading that page. Leave me alone.
 
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I actually do have heart problems (aortic valve stenosis and mitral valve prolapse), 2 of 3 uncles died as teenagers from heart problems (definite family history) and I smoked for 24 yrs. But I am 43, still alive, and feeling good.

I guess my point is, I doubt you are on the edge of dying, altho it can feel like that when you find out info that had been hidden from you, as you say, and of course that might make it seem like it's a huge danger (and that's why no one told you), when it may not actually be.

I would definitely go to a cardiologist, tell them of your family history and that you are worried about whether you have something wrong with your heart. (And you should also find out what the medical term of what your father had is.) Going to the cardiologist will ease your mind i bet.

As for you feeling betrayed by your mother, IDK, maybe after a while you can talk to her about why she kept that info from you. (My mother died when i was 5 and I didn't know the real reason until I was an adult--that the doctors failed to give her the antibiotics she asked for and she got an infection that spread to her heart. I grew up believing that she was "poisoned by the doctor." Which is scary to a 5 yr old. When i did finally find out, I was mad that no one bothered to inform me of the real reason when i was old enough to understand, like when i was a teenager. Instead I went fishing when I was 19 and got it out of someone else.)

Anyway, I hope you can go to the cardiologist and find out that if you do have something wrong, it's nothing that's gonna kill you. In my case, I'm not allowed to play basketball or go running or anything overly exerting like that. Good luck! :)
You seem like a strong person, your story really inspires me.
 

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I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs. The worst thing I do is be a fat pig, which I'm trying to change through diet and exercise.
That is a very important aspect, i am nobody to suggest something but it would be great if you keep up like that. I try to have a healthy life as well. So far i feel better.
There are big, big chances you do not have that heart condition since only your dad and aunt had it (aqs far as you tell us). Hopefully, you'll be O.K.
Don't worry so much, just keep a rather healthy lifestyle.
 
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Well, you have to, running away won't solve the problem. If you have it (let's hope not) at least you have an early diagnosis, which can be life-saving. Oh yeah, and check out this site. All the best!
I'm sorry for being so rude to you. I was just really scared. I don't want to see a cardiologist, it just scares me. But I know it's scarier and worse not to know.
 
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