[Delicate]

Not a big deal at all but, a guy from work's leaving tomorrow and asked if I'd go to his leaving thing, just going to a bar not too far from work.. and some people who are going finish work at the same time as me so I can go up with them. I get really paranoid about feeling left out though and feeling stupid I get nervous about what to order and stupid things. My sort of boyfriend should be going at the same time as me.. I get nervous with him when we're with other people from work because he's quite close with a lot of people but I'm not really that close with many people from work so i feel like a loser. I've been sort of distant with him because of these silly insecurities and because I'm paranoid since he's said how I'm quiet a few times.

Another girl from work's having a party this weekend she's invited me to but I really don't know how to get to it so I think I'll just play it by ear, I told her I'll go if I can find it and she said in the invitation to rsvp but it's not like a big formal event so I dunno if I have to do anything. It's quite far from where I live too so I don't know how to get there and how to get back.

This is silly and I should be happy and I AM happy to have been involved but I get scared. And because it's a work thing and my bf's like everyone best friend type of person at work and because of what he said I feel like I'm being judged constantly.. I tried to let him know but only in a passive aggressive kind of way..

Sorry I'm rambling I just needed to talk about things.

 

[Paul'sBunyon]

No need to apologize. Here's one from the ole' hit parade...It's never as bad as you think it is.

 

[Delicate]

... *stress*

 

[KuRuPt20]

Does your boyfriend know you have SA?

 

[Delicate]

No one knows I have "SA" I've not even been diagnosed with it I got sort of diagnosed with severe anxiety but didn't take it any further. I tell him I get stressed sometimes and he knows I get shy but sort of makes me feel stupid for it he doesn't mean to though. He says he used to be different and used to be more shy but I don't like people to joke about me like that. I told him I get take a joke but take it too personally when it's about my personality or how I am because I've tried to change how I am but I'm just how I am. And he was really taken aback and didn't realise he'd offended me...

Went to that thing last night, felt pretty awkward and out of it but it's wasn't bad. It's just cos he knows all of them better they all know eachother better. He asked me once if I've never been out with anyone from work. I have with individual people who I see as friends but not the whole "clique" thing. I'm glad I went just for the guy it was for so it was nice to see them out of work. This creepy guy from work I don't really like was there and him and this woman who also irritates me were sat across from me and my bf and they were LITERALLY staring and pointing and talking about us.. I was like wtf? I told him they were and he said "I know, I don't care... I'm not embarassed to be with you"... I'm thinking... why would he be embarassed of me anyway?

lol thanks for listening

 

[Madison_Rose]

Glad to hear it went ok. Your bf sounds nice, and there are rude idiotic people everywhere, it's good that your bf said he didn't care about them

 

[Delicate]

I'm wondering what's embarassing about me though.

 

[Madison_Rose]

He said he wasn't embarassed to be with you! I guess he said it because you were clearly uncomfortable with those idiots pointing at you both, and he thought that you were worrying about it and wanted to reassure you, which was kind and thoughtful of him. Translate his words for yourself as "I'm happy for people to see me with you." He was paying you a compliment. Now stop worrying!

 

[Delicate]

Lol I know, I sound like a lunatic, it's just like as if people see a reason for him to be embarassed of me and he has to reassure me that he's not to make me feel better. I don't wanna go to work and see those people.. I don't enjoy seeing them anyway.
And thank you