Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I wanted to know if you guys ever catch yourself doing random things when feeling anxious in a situation.
For an example, at school I would often have to walk by organization's tables and they would be raising money, handing out fliers etc. Every time I passed by one I would immediately act distracted and fumble with my ipod or pull out my phone.
Also, when I see acquaintances, I feel awkward and I act like I'm texting someone on my phone. If I don't do this, I look away and pretend to not see them.
I know this is ridiculous, but I just seem to do it without even thinking. Does anyone else experience this??
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
277 Posts
Yeah, I do that stuff too. I always find something to fumble with to pretend I don't see people. Even if I see someone that I wouldn't mind talking to, I'll do this and just hope that they see me, b/c I'm too afraid to initiate it. I'm afraid that maybe I'll say something and the person won't hear me or something, and then I would just look stupid.

Occasionally this "skill" comes in handy, though. I go to ren faires a lot, and it's best to pretend not to see all those people who try to get your attention so that you'll buy something or watch their act and tip them.
 

·
Positively Revolting Hag
Joined
·
6,547 Posts
When there are people on the street trying to sell things/hand you flyers I always look away and pretend I haven't noticed them. I always take my phone out and look at the time when I'm in the elevator with people at tafe.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
91 Posts
oh i still do some odd things...when im nervous i start messing with my hair and biting my lip like on the inside. its so obvious im uncomfortable its embarrassing.

if im wearing a jacket i will mess with fuzz on the inside pockets lol...hmmm lets see if im at a red light and i feel like someones looking at me (im paranoid) i start fidgeting with the radio to make it look like im busy lol.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,198 Posts
i look at my hands a lot
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
136 Posts
I fumble around with things too. Aren't phones and Ipods great? I like to walk around with my headphones on and the volume on high so I can avoid guys who may want to stop and talk to me. I actually did this the last time I went out for the evening cuz a group of guys stopped to talk to me so pretended to mess with my phone and ignored them. (I think it's creepy when a group of guys try to hit on one girl.) Or I keep puffing on my cigarette and concentrate on that.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
136 Posts
oh i still do some odd things...when im nervous i start messing with my hair and biting my lip like on the inside. its so obvious im uncomfortable its embarrassing.

if im wearing a jacket i will mess with fuzz on the inside pockets lol...hmmm lets see if im at a red light and i feel like someones looking at me (im paranoid) i start fidgeting with the radio to make it look like im busy lol.
I know how you feel when you're at a red light. I always think someone is staring at me.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
136 Posts
When there are people on the street trying to sell things/hand you flyers I always look away and pretend I haven't noticed them. I always take my phone out and look at the time when I'm in the elevator with people at tafe.
I completely hate being in elevators with strangers. Especially small elevators because I never know where to look or how to look.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
140 Posts
Oh man, funny story - when I used to work, I'd walk home from work each night (no car). On the walk home, I'd have to pass through the relatively busy center of the town. I'd always see classmates or people I knew who would try to talk to me, and my SA just wouldn't let that happen. I'd pull out my cellphone and PRETEND to be talking to someone. Like, I'd actually talk and everything... I did that most every night........ Haha
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
497 Posts
I wanted to know if you guys ever catch yourself doing random things when feeling anxious in a situation.
For an example, at school I would often have to walk by organization's tables and they would be raising money, handing out fliers etc. Every time I passed by one I would immediately act distracted and fumble with my ipod or pull out my phone.
Also, when I see acquaintances, I feel awkward and I act like I'm texting someone on my phone. If I don't do this, I look away and pretend to not see them.
I know this is ridiculous, but I just seem to do it without even thinking. Does anyone else experience this??
we all do.

im presuming youve read gillian butlers book overcoming shyness and SA ? safety behvaiour is part of the clerkand well model for SA

i have many , many, many safety behaviours. one of the most frequent ones i use is to pretend to sden txt messages on my mobile phone so tat i dont have to get involved int he group coversation. i act distractedlike im busy doing something else
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
89 Posts
Been there, done that, watched the movie and bought the t-shirt.

Sometimes when I'm with my boyfriend, and he wants to do something I don't (like hug me or something), I pretend I'm getting a text message, stop in the middle of the way and look inside my bag for my phone. I feel terrible everytime this happens.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
yep :) I did get the term safety behaviors from Gillian Butler's book. I found it fairly helpful, but until I really start to put what I read into practice it won't help enough...haha
I think if I put my phone or ipod away in these situations, I'll probably just find something else to do...possibly messing with my fingernails or something like that.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,722 Posts
Also, when I see acquaintances, I feel awkward and I act like I'm texting someone on my phone. If I don't do this, I look away and pretend to not see them.
If this happened to me, I'd break into a run, but as I was running past I'd acknowledge the person and say something like 'hi! Can't stop, got a bus to catch' and then just run away. My friend, who doesn't have SA but doesn't like randomly bumping into people, thought of this as a good way of getting out of that kind of situation. It's ridiculous, but it works :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
121 Posts
I fidget with pretty much anything i can get my hands on, all the time, not just when i'm anxious. However when i am anxious it goes into overdrive and i cant stand to not have my hands occupied doing something.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
63 Posts
All the d*** time. Cell phone especially. And pretending to look in my bag, when I carried one. And making a show of my attention being attracted by something in the opposite direction of the person approaching me.

We would all be really good extras in movies that need a lot of people in the background fumbling and bumbling around.
 

·
Your Assumptions
Joined
·
7,027 Posts
My most frequent one is being self-deprecating and hiding what I know out of anxiety and self-doubt. I'm afraid that if I revealed any ability, people would attack and accuse me of terrible things, like my brothers used to.
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
Top