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Allright I came out. Not on Eharmony or match.com or anything else, but as a dude that suffers from SA. I would love to meet women who suffer from the same. If nothing else we can relate. I am just interested in a dialogue with women who are my age who either have given up or are convinced that there is nothing around that is thier age to make it worthwhile.
 

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im so lonely all the time
 

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I think 95% percent of the male population on here is wanting the same thing, hehe.
AGREED :D

Come one, say it with me:

I'm lonely and i'm proud.

I can't here you

I'm lonely.. and I'm proud

Are you really proud of that ?

no
 

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Unfortunately, the odds of ending up with a girl with social anxiety are pretty slim and I'd try to stear away from that hope. Anyway, two socially anxious people aren't necessarily meant for each other. Another unfortunate reality is this, and I've said it before -- many people here will die alone. It's a particularly disturbing fact and it's not fair, but it's true. Humans are social and we aren't good at it. Other conditions do not necessarily keep you from finding a mate. Heck, they may even help. I bet narcissists get lots of dates. Of course, they are the root of all evil. Being socially awkward puts people off and makes them uncomfortable. Not very good if you are looking for a mate, especially for guys and, no, I am not even remotely trying to get into a gender war thing. It's just a fact of life and you have to live with it. A simple "do you want to hang out sometime?" can be hard enough for a normal person. For us it's terrible. Our lack of self-confidence keeps us from getting anywhere. Then you have people, including here, that tell you to work on your confidence. Not totally realistic. You have to find someone that can deal with you in general, because you're probably always going to lack confidence and have a certain degree of social anxiety. It's the initial getting to know someone and asking them out that is hard. Sometimes it doesn't even work out that way and if that's the case you are lucky. You gradually just get into a relationship. I'm into that. Of course, I don't hang out with anyone enough for that to happen.
 

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Unfortunately, the odds of ending up with a girl with social anxiety are pretty slim and I'd try to stear away from that hope. Anyway, two socially anxious people aren't necessarily meant for each other. Another unfortunate reality is this, and I've said it before -- many people here will die alone. It's a particularly disturbing fact and it's not fair, but it's true. Humans are social and we aren't good at it. Other conditions do not necessarily keep you from finding a mate. Heck, they may even help. I bet narcissists get lots of dates. Of course, they are the root of all evil. Being socially awkward puts people off and makes them uncomfortable. Not very good if you are looking for a mate, especially for guys and, no, I am not even remotely trying to get into a gender war thing. It's just a fact of life and you have to live with it. A simple "do you want to hang out sometime?" can be hard enough for a normal person. For us it's terrible. Our lack of self-confidence keeps us from getting anywhere. Then you have people, including here, that tell you to work on your confidence. Not totally realistic. You have to find someone that can deal with you in general, because you're probably always going to lack confidence and have a certain degree of social anxiety. It's the initial getting to know someone and asking them out that is hard. Sometimes it doesn't even work out that way and if that's the case you are lucky. You gradually just get into a relationship. I'm into that. Of course, I don't hang out with anyone enough for that to happen.
Awesome post. I think I agree with everything you said. A lot of us have to put up with hearing platitudes and false reassurances from various sources, which sometimes makes things even worse. In fact, it gets damn tiring.

I strongly believe that humans tend to way overestimate the extent to which we can change ourselves in fundamental ways - be it our personalities, psychological frameworks, appearances, or whatever. A lot of people (even on here) tend to buy into cliches like "just work on improving yourself" or "it will all work out in the end," most likely as a coping mechanism for dealing with how coldly unfair the real world is. I don't really blame them, either; I know if I was content and successful in my life, I'd probably use any excuse I could find to avoid the depressing reality that some folks really aren't capable of a fulfilling life.
 

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Or a dating site where the women actually answer you when you message them, even to say a polite no thanks?
Usually the girl responds late and in a really simple way if she's not interested I think.

I wish I got no message instead because they can fill up your box and why get something you know is just about pointless?

It really just wastes both of our time.
 

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You gotta snap out of it guys! Easier said than done, but I'm doing it. Actually dating a beautiful awesome girl right now, which I met online. As I have met all the women I dated online. Hard to me to open a conversation with a girl unless she starts it or pretty much anyone in general. So that's why I use online and am able to build comfort with a girl and what not. I've met about 20 different women, and most of them have been within the past year. And I've gotten probably over 50 phone numbers, though getting a number doesn't always mean you'll meet haha. Most of them are one date and done, but I've made a few friends and even a brief relationship last summer. Going out meet these girls help a lot to get me more social and I learn how to act around women. Actually material from David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Mystery etc has helped me.
 

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Well, try online dating sites for people with SA, there are a few.

Shypassions.com - It has groups that include SA and such. Although, not all, or few actually have it, probably.

Nolongerlonely.com - Same as above.

Socialanxietymatch.com - It's rather very slow though, not many people.

I personally kinda gave up.
 

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We are the Nice Guys

Unfortunately, the odds of ending up with a girl with social anxiety are pretty slim and I'd try to stear away from that hope. Anyway, two socially anxious people aren't necessarily meant for each other. Another unfortunate reality is this, and I've said it before -- many people here will die alone. It's a particularly disturbing fact and it's not fair, but it's true. Humans are social and we aren't good at it. Other conditions do not necessarily keep you from finding a mate. Heck, they may even help. I bet narcissists get lots of dates. Of course, they are the root of all evil. Being socially awkward puts people off and makes them uncomfortable. Not very good if you are looking for a mate, especially for guys and, no, I am not even remotely trying to get into a gender war thing. It's just a fact of life and you have to live with it. A simple "do you want to hang out sometime?" can be hard enough for a normal person. For us it's terrible. Our lack of self-confidence keeps us from getting anywhere. Then you have people, including here, that tell you to work on your confidence. Not totally realistic. You have to find someone that can deal with you in general, because you're probably always going to lack confidence and have a certain degree of social anxiety. It's the initial getting to know someone and asking them out that is hard. Sometimes it doesn't even work out that way and if that's the case you are lucky. You gradually just get into a relationship. I'm into that. Of course, I don't hang out with anyone enough for that to happen.
Its like the whole nice guy issue. People say grow a spine and stop being a nice guy. Well truth is, that is pretty much hardwired into my personality. I am dedicated to everything I do and am pretty confident that I will have a career and live out my life financially comfortable. But of course, women don't see that, all they see is "another nice guy"
 
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