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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was in what I would call a fairy-tale relationship for 2 1/2 years, until my girlfriend broke up with me after Christmas via text message. She said it was because I never wanted to do anything with her anymore (not true), that I would never move out of the house, that I would never quit my then-dead-end job, etc. etc. etc. She said she wasn't romantically in love with me anymore. That night, I felt like I had learned both my parents had been killed.

She still wanted to be friends, so I obliged, thinking I could show her I could change for the better, and for her.

I quit my dead-end job.
I went places she wanted to go.
I got a newer car.
I played video games she thought I would never want to. She thought I would be fixated on Pokemon forever (shut up, it's for adults too).
I stopped worrying about things so much.

Every day, I would drive to and from work feeling like ****, feeling like there was still something about me that I had to change, but just couldn't

Fast forward to this month. She tells me she's had a lesbian encounter before ever knowing me, and the only reason she never told me was because I never asked. Whatever, I'm cool with it.

I thought moving out of my parent's house was the last step in order to get her back. I had signed the buyer's agreement on a house. I went to the arcade to think about it, long and hard. And I decided that I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. Even though she wanted me to move out, she never wanted to do anything I wanted to anymore.

-I would tell her I wanted to go to the bar. She would complain about having no money. She would be out at the bar with someone else that same night.
-I would tell her I wanted to go to dinner with her. She always had other plans.
-I wanted to go clothes shopping with her. She was feeling cranky and backed out.

Then, 2 days ago, I found the photos of her making out with some lesbian in their car. That was all I needed to see. I walked across town late that night for a coffee, sat on the bench outside, and thought. And I finally let go. I accepted myself for who I was, and stopped caring about what she wanted out of our one-sided friendship. I was done.


I used to be very socially anxious, shy, and worried that I would never find anyone. It has tapered off, but the effects still linger. I also have a very hard time starting conversation with anyone. Sometimes I can talk for a while, but most of the time talking is a struggle. I listen way more than I talk. I fear this, coupled with my newfound social apathy, will prevent me from finding anyone. I went to the bar last night with my brother and his girlfriend and talked to no one, just because I genuinely had nothing to say.

I don't want to be alone forever.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
She didn't cheat on me when we were going out, but even though she started seeing this girl about a month or two ago, while we were friends, it feels like she cheated on me.

Towards the end, she seemed disinterested in me. I have a feeling she broke up with me because she was becoming more attracted to women than me, and wasn't sure how I would handle it. She picked out a few of my flaws instead. It hurt.
 

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Man, there is nothing that feels more like a kick in the balls mre than ending up in that kinda situation -your girl cheating on you, with another woman.

In retrospect, i'm glad at least my friends didn't find out the sort of girl I was interested. They would have laughed their @sses off,

How you dealing with it man ?
Me personally, I can't get over the idea that this must be a bad open for my future ( if any) luck with women.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
For the last 5 months I took it very hard. I was beating myself up every day, to try to change. She was my first and only real girlfriend.

She always told me I forget everything, and would frequently remind me -- little things, like her sister's age, whether her birthday is one of 2 dates I would always get mixed up, her schedule for the evening, etc. I took gingko biloba supplements to try to combat it, but it wasn't 100% effective.

I'm not really dealing with it as of now. I don't care anymore. I feel nothing. I hope this emotional void is not permanent, because I feel it is subhuman of myself to feel like I have nothing left to give.
 

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Yep. Right now.... Pamela Anderson could walk right up to me, and I'd still ignore her.

I feel like i'm just in a "why bother" state. Its like, why do I even try.

The reason this hit me so bad, this was the first S.A. girl I met in person. It was the first time I felt I didn't have to put on some "big strong man" act just to impress.

Well, I guess I know now what she is so shy about. But still. I wish it were not true.
 

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The emotional void is not permanent. I know you may not trust my advice since I'm a girl and all but we all go through the same ordeals.
Just start remembering what you enjoyed before she came into your life and the things you had wished you could do but couldn't because she was holding you back and trapping you into doing everything she wanted to do. I'm sure you'll start to feel more confident the more you start doing things for yourself again :)
 
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