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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I may be just stating the obvious or maybe nobody agrees with me but I think SA is mostly about fear of your feelings. Just read some of the posts and notice how often the word "feel" appears. Plus statements like "I don't want to get hurt". Not talking about physical hurt but mental/emotional hurt. Fear of being or ending up alone is just fear of feeling lonely. Fear of feeling embarrassed or fear of feeling awkward, fear of being laughed at because it feels bad, fear of feeling bad about yourself or something happening to make you feel even worse about yourself etc. I think SA people *may* in general be more sensitive and feel things more strongly. Overly *sensitive* to criticism for instance.
 

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I believe this. I definitely don't deny that I get a little more emotional about things, I fear my feelings, and that I don't want to get hurt. I've been hurt enough and I'm sick of it. One of the reasons I believe my SA is still so strong is because of this and the fact that putting myself out there opens me up to hurt that I don't want to experience.
 

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This is an interesting take on SA. I know that I have long suffered the curse of being over-analytical ... it's as if my rational brain doesn't know how to turn off, even in situations where it should be totally "safe" to just let go and be myself.

If true, then treatment should involve ways of reconnecting ourselves with our feelings, and trusting our inherent capacity for self-expression. I've always found music to be very therapeutic ... both playing and listening. Any other musicians here?
 

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What I wonder is whether a lot of SA behavior is almost like a defense mechanism, or an OCD ritual - we're so afraid of feeling hurt, judged, etc. that we cope by retreating, avoiding, inhibiting ourselves, beating ourselves up so that we cower on the sidelines of life rather than getting in the game - and never learn that we don't really NEED the cowering and the beating-ourselves-up
 

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Yep you're right all my life I've been overly sensitive to most things regular people won't have an issue with and I'm afraid of putting myself out there because the feeling of rejection is not something I have an easy time with at all.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Yes.. How do you stop it though!?
Not really sure but I have a few ideas, it's what I'm focused on now. First I think you have to come up with some rational counter beliefs to the fear that your conscious mind can accept and from that create some affirmations and use techniques, maybe suggestopedia or super sleep recordings for instance to implant them into your subconscious mind. Because even if as an adult one may have developed a thicker skin these fears most likely started in childhood and these childhood scripts may very well still be the dominant script that takes over with social situations that you fear.

Anybody have any rational counter beliefs to any of these fears of bad feelings?
 

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All phobias are about feelings.
The question is however, why these feelings are so powerful? Why do they control us so much? Why are they accompanied by physical symptoms and panic attacks? How do we get rid of them?

Now, before I or anyone generalize an answer to those questions, we must take into account the vast body of theories, cures, and treatments that have all failed. I strongly suggest that a person should read 20,000 to 30,000 of the posts on here before they generalize anything. And take into account that more than 90% of the people that register, almost never post.

The more I study this disorder, the more it confuses me. Every new insight turns into a dead-end within weeks.

The way I see it, SA is basically the midpoint of our struggles. Where and why it started, is a mystery. We are like immigrants; we came from different places with different symptoms, and while we may all have the same disorder, it is due to different reasons.
Actually, I think we are more like refugees and this forum is more like a refugee camp. We are seeking refuge from our battles, but we may all be fleeing our own battles. Whether that battle is purely in our minds, or in our body, I don't think makes much difference. It is a monumental obstacle in our lives, and it is hard as hell to get rid of. That is the only conclusion I am sure of when it comes to SA.



Just because we do not know of a physical cause, does not mean that one doesn't exists. 150 years ago, bacteria and viruses did not exist in the scientific community. But we know that these bacterias and viruses had been infecting people for centuries.
 

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It makes sense. I think with my heart, and i have a lot of spirit. It always feels like people are against me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I'm not saying fear of feelings is all there is to SA. One thing I thought of though that makes me think it's mostly about that is a little thought experiment. Suppose being made fun of, being criticized and judged negatively actually gave you a nice warm cozy feeling inside and made you feel good. Surely you would not then be afraid of negative judgments,rejection etc. but may actually crave them. Strange thought I know but doesn't it kind of prove that it's more about the feelings than the actual negative judgments?
 

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I think this demonstrates that the problem lives in our heads, and not in any REAL threat "out there".
 

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I feel powerless. But doesnt mean I AM powerless. If mental problems are all in the head why would a heart attack be all in the chest?
 

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I think you're on to something. I would say anxious people attach "emotional values" to things/events that don't warrant any emotional attachment at all. That's why they appear to be more sensitive than others. They feel where they have no business feeling. And then they think about and analyze these "false feelings" and get screwed up.
 

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Not really sure but I have a few ideas, it's what I'm focused on now. First I think you have to come up with some rational counter beliefs to the fear that your conscious mind can accept and from that create some affirmations and use techniques, maybe suggestopedia or super sleep recordings for instance to implant them into your subconscious mind. Because even if as an adult one may have developed a thicker skin these fears most likely started in childhood and these childhood scripts may very well still be the dominant script that takes over with social situations that you fear.
That's interesting, I might look into it.
 
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