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First of all hi there guys :) Ive been lurking this website for quite a while now but never got to post in it, or even made an account. Also english is not my first language so expect some errors

I dont know what the ef happened with my life. I was happy and nothing was wrong with it. I never struggled with social interaction that bad, yes I was shy when meeting new people and with family(always hated being with the family for some reason) but I was pretty social.

so one night(5 months ago) I went out with my best bro to a rave did some e and had fun. he told me he liked me and that he was gay(it shocked me, i didn't like it). I had a really really bad trip that night that I think changed me forever.
Some time after that(maybe 1 month), i don't know what was it but I started to become kinda depressed. just like that I slowly stopped talking to my friends one by one, dropped my classes little by little, and I started to feel anxious besides my friends, a little paranoid in class, and even uncomfortable with my parents. It all went downhill from there.

I didn't answer calls for three months, always made excuses with my friends (Ive already made so many of them they stopped caring about me). for those 3 months I lived in complete isolation, only leaving to get food supplies, videogames, and weed(those are the only things that made me wanna go outside). I lied to my parents as an excuse to not see them on the weekends, like telling them I would go out chilling with my friends or take a girl out(pathetic :blank ). I even taped the curtains of my windows to the wall so they couldn't tell whether I was at home or not.

Last week I realized I was gay and felt a little better about myself. But my anxiety has really grown out of proportion. I freeze completely with whoever I have to speak to someone I know, I cant look at people directly in the eye( i even struggle with my parents) and try to evade all social situations, and Im getting really desperate. Im tall, alittle chubby but I still know IM good looking. I know every negative though that comes to mind is just all in my head, everything is just in my head, but I just cant stop it.

How you guys do it?
 

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Hi Epon. If you are able to identify the thoughts as they come to you, that's a great start for restructuring therapy (CBT) , from there apply logic and evidence to prove that the thoughts are erroneous.
This is easier with a counsellor, your GP should be able to refer you to one.
Personally I just keep throwing myself under the wheels of the wagon so to speak. Force myself to do things even though I'm totally freaking out and hating the feeling. It's just a feeling. Sounds a bit weird but I imagine , what if I was being tortured, how would it compare? Well really emotional anxiety is nothing compared to that, even if it seems bad at the time. So I think, well no excuse then.
Just realize there are worse things, and that by doing, it does help.

Good luck
 

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i don't know what was it but I started to become kinda depressed. just like that I slowly stopped talking to my friends one by one, dropped my classes little by little, and I started to feel anxious besides my friends, a little paranoid in class, and even uncomfortable with my parents. It all went downhill from there.

I didn't answer calls for three months, always made excuses with my friends (Ive already made so many of them they stopped caring about me). for those 3 months I lived in complete isolation.
Welcome to the Kool Kids Klub.

I had a very similar experience. Like one day something just clicked and I was depressed, nihilistic and became a loner. I deleted my Facebook and no longer have cell phone service so nobody can contact me. I don't even talk to my family much anymore even though we all still live in the same house.

All I can say is good luck.
 

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hi

I understand man

I had a very similar thing happened. I think its the result of too much stress..

In your case the stress of trust.. seems you trusted your bro that you were friends, but now all of a sudden he comes out with something like that.

Idk what to say. Ive been living like this now since it happened, over 18 years ago. It never stopped.

I think it MIGHT be our reptilian brain (inner brain, inner child type thing), establishing memories to protect is from danger.

I would say more but
 

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Isolation can be bad..

But normal people find themselves bouncing back from that more

I think its a problem, but more like, most SAers go into it because of social stress or unhappiness, not necessarily you are isolated and develop SA.

Im not saying isolating is good, but..
 
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