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Neither Enemy Nor Friend
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I don't think so at all. i just think SA suppressed us emotionally but not on a maturity level. just confidence level and self-esteem level. just my opinion though if that made sense at all. i know what i wanted to say but i wasn't sure how to word it but i did my best
 

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4 + 1 = MOO
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But is it better to be mature and lonely than immature with friends?
I'd say so, yes. I'd rather be smart and alone than be an idiot in a group of dunces. I sadly see this on a daily basis with both children and adults, which makes me wonder, "why do I give a **** what these people think?"
 

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"Do you think SA is a form of emotional immaturity?"

I see connections here... I think there are several aspects.

Small child is completely wrapped up in himself. The whole world spings around him. What is the way we sa people think?

Child is also completely dependent on others care. Being rejected means literally being sentenced to death. What about us, people with sa? We cant stand if we'll be rejected. We constantly think how to act so that the other is comfortable.

We are too scared to stand on our own feet. We fear they dont carry.

I'll copy here one of my previous posts:

Sometimes I still feel like a little child. What does a young child do when he falls down to the street? He runs home. And when he sees his mother, not until then, he starts to cry hopelessly. He keeps all the pain inside, but then just lets it all pour out. He is not yet capable of dealing with it alone.

What do I do when I'm nervous? I lay my eyes down, I start to twiddle my nose. I cross my arms. I hold the coffee cup in my hands when the others lay theirs on the table.

Why cant I just let the nervousness come? Act confident even though I'm scared? Hold my head up like a grown up. Let the anxiety be and accept it, but in the middle of it, know that I will manage. Seems like everybody else knows how to do it.

But me, I either try to suppress it like that kid running towards home, or let it all come out like when he gets to mom. How come is it so difficult to comprehend that I really can take it by myself?
 

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Is anything accomplished by labeling SA a form of emotional immaturity? The label itself has a lot of negative connotations. Typically whenever we call someone immature it's to put them down. So, why are you asking this question? Let's say everyone agrees that it is a form of emotional immaturity. Then what? wouldn't we all just feel even worse about ourselves?

What would it mean for anyone to be emotionally mature anyway? Would that we are able to deal constructively with negative emotions? If that's the criterion then I doubt many people are "emotionally mature". Maybe the Dalai Lama, or some psychologists would be considered "emotionally mature".

Any way, I don't think anything positive comes out of answering your question.
 

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I think it may be a good to realize, so one can start adopting new models and really start to change the way of thinking.
I don't need to conclude that SA = emotional immaturity before I start adopting new models to become "emotionally mature". I already recognize that SA is a problem... that's enough motivation for me to seek out solutions.

Labeling SA emotional immaturity is not constructive, was my point.
 

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define: immaturity

i think most people with SA are perfectly able to see there is a disconnect between them and the people they interact with. I'd say its more of a focus issue.

but there are prolly people with SA who truly have no perception that they lack social skills, although, a key factor in social "anxiety" is that you're aware enough to be anxious at all.
 

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Emotional immaturity is not being able to see things in the big picture and not knowing how to handle emotions. They only see one point of view (their own) and react to that.

I'll say SA is definitely a form of immaturity. They don't see the big picture of social interaction and worry about their own self-image. They get stuck in negative thought patterns and aren't even aware of it. I would know, I lived it.
 

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Emotional immaturity is not being able to see things in the big picture and not knowing how to handle emotions. They only see one point of view (their own) and react to that.

I'll say SA is definitely a form of immaturity. They don't see the big picture of social interaction and worry about their own self-image. They get stuck in negative thought patterns and aren't even aware of it. I would know, I lived it.
The part about empathy... people with SA are able to see things from other people's perspectives... becoming absorbed and insecure because of our negative thoughts isn't a matter of maturity or immaturity, it's a matter of proper functioning -- that's why SA is a disorder... (contra something that is in order).

The part about coping with negative emotions, however, I agree with you. We mature in our ability to handle our own emotions by learning to cope with the anxiety, depression, etc. (at least under normal circumstances). So, if the solution to the disorder is to mature, then we'd have to conclude that SA is emotional immaturity.

But what happens when someone has a form of anxiety that they simply cannot cope with (regardless of CBT or medication)? We wouldn't want to call such a person emotionally immature. That would be a harsh judgment that overlooks their genuine suffering. I don't know... And basically, I don't care. Nothing is settled by establishing the truth of whether or not SA is a form of emotional immaturity. I don't even know why I'm here writing this... I need to stop sleeping at 4 am... there is nothing to do so late at night... dear God...
 

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The so-called "big picture" is a painting created by the most cunning and diabolical con artist who ever lived. People with SA (and other "disorders") are often times simply realists who (at some point) somehow saw through all the artist's BS and now they can't simply go back to sleep and pretend they never saw it even if they want to.

"Maturity" (as it is defined here) would seem to be all about playing along to get along and living a phony life in a plastic bubble while you sing cheesy nursery rhymes about how happy you are and how oblivious you are to all of the stark realities that surround you. Or, in simpler terms, "ignorance is bliss". How did things get so backwards? I won't be browbeaten into pretending I didn't see what I know I saw. I'm not immature. I'm just a very poor actor and an even worse self-hypnotist, unfortunately.
 

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I reckon SA is a form of anxiety pertaining to the social realm ^__^ Genius.

SA is oversensitivity to me... For whatever reason, we feel things more than others.
We aren't given the tools to deal with the level of sensitivity we have as children so we have to gain them them when we are older.
 

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Your Assumptions
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I think emotional dysregulation would be a more accurate term. There might be some brain basis for using the word immaturity in the neurological context, though, for some etiological mechanisms concerning SA.
 

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Hear, See , Be silent
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