[Hippo]

What is the best kind of place for someone with social anxiety to live? I've always lived in the suburbs and often wonder what it would be like to live either in a really countrified setting, or in a big city. On the one hand, a small country type town might be an easier place to meet people, but on the other hand, the sheer volume of people in a big city might be better. I'm not sure which. all i know is i'm definitely tired of the suburbs.

 

[irvanm87]

cant really say because ive lived in all three and it just depends..for example...currently i am living in a rural community, but its a very small town and very active...so there are still lots of soical encounters you would run into

 

[melrose97]

big cities are great. one the one hand, you are surrounded by people all day, and on the other hand there are so many people that you can maintain your annonymity if you choose - ie, get lost in the crowd. the are more opportunities for dating, work, you can move neighborhoods.

suburbs are the worst in terms of alienation. see: desperate housewives. i grew up in the burbs and i think that the paranoia, everyone watching each other, and the seperation of people into familial units in seperate houses facilitates SA.

- move to a big city!

 

[SAgirl]

Rural is bad. It's too isolating.

I live half an hour driving distance from the nearest grocery store. Right now I have to rely on my parents for rides.

 

[caithiggs]

city's the best, once you get over your fear of crowds, that is.

 

[Madison_Rose]

I've lived in rural isolation, and in a city too. Cities are waaaaay better! Easy to meet people, easy to avoid people and be alone.

 

[LostPancake]

Big cities are nice in that there are usually a lot of different types of neighborhoods, and you can pick one that lets you be kind of anonymous. You can get your people fix from just walking around, or going to a grocery store, and not worry about running into the same people very often, if at all. I imagine in a small town you'd wind up having to get to know people more, which may or may not be what you want. Suburbia scares me though - everyone is so successful and well-adjusted (relatively speaking).

 

[nonfunctioning alcoholic]

I agree that cities are better. I have lived in suburbs, cities, and small towns, and cities are the best - hands down - in every way.

It's a paradox - you're surrounded by millions of people, yet there is actually less social interaction in a city than in a small town, where people know who you are, you have a reputation, etc, and you're constantly at risk of being trapped in small talk. In a city, if people start to recognize you in one store, just go to another!

 

[alex291]

im so much more comfortable in a big city. i can walk by myself and its not weird. nobody knows who i am so i feel better. the anonymity really helps.

rural ive never lived in but i think it would be too quiet and isolating

suburbs are manageable but i run into people i know a lot and they ask what im doing out and its difficult to be honest "well i was bored and depressed but hve no friends to call so i got out of the house by myself"

 

[its_Rob]

I guess I'm in a rural/small town area (i just use pittsburgh as my location because everyone around here will simply say they're from pittsburgh). I live near a farm and everyone seems to know everyone else. People even know who all of the cops are.

I dont like it. I just hate this town. I'm not saying small towns are bad, I just hate the town I live in now. I like cities because you're just a person in a crowd but I like small towns because there are no big crowds.

 

[gaz]

I live in a rural area. My workplace is 28 miles away and the nearest decent cinema is 60 miles away! The thing i hate is being so far from work and it makes it inconvenient, you can't live without a car here. What i find is that people are very nosey here being close knit, and i hate that because i'm such a private person. The thing i like is the peace and quiet after a days work and i can shoot my gun in peace which is something i could not do in an urban area.

 

[solasum]

I'd either want to live in the middle of a huge city or in the middle of nowhere for several reasons. One is because you're anonymous in both areas. The second is that there's a greater variety of people in a city, and they're generally more tolerant of different people. I plan on moving to a large city once I graduate.

 

[Catlover4100]

I live waaay out in the country and it sucks. There is absolutely nothing to do and it's almost 25 minutes to the nearest grocery store. Some people love it, but it's definitely not for me. If you have any kind of special needs or special interests, the country is not for you.

 

[mountain5]

I'm going to have to move to a city before I settle down or I get too old. I hate having to drive 90 minutes to get to the Twin Cities, when that's the only place anything is going on.

The problem is I want my car, I want to sit outside on my own yard whenever I want, and I want to make as much noise as I want in my own home. I have a pretty spacious townhome apartment and after 3 years even that feels too constricting.

 

[Just Lurking]

Rural is bad. It's too isolating.

I found this too. I lived in a rural area for a little over a year and... it's not for me. As said, it's very isolating. I don't really care for small towns, either.

I prefer a big city. My city has about 500,000 people and that's just about right (I don't think I'd want to live in a place with millions, either).

 

[sanspants08]

The problem is I want my car, I want to sit outside on my own yard whenever I want, and I want to make as much noise as I want in my own home. I have a pretty spacious townhome apartment and after 3 years even that feels too constricting.

Hey, me too. I feel the same way. The social isolation of living away from everyone really sucks, but at the same time, I like having my space. Every time I drive through a city, I leave in a really bad mood due to the congestion.

I'd say that if you don't have the above-mentioned hangups, move to a city!

 

[UltraShy]

I've always lived in a suburb and don't really think location matters much in terms of SA. You can be surrounded by lots of people, yet still be totally alone. Back in college I could sit in the largest lecture hall on campus, a room with seating for 500, and still not talk to anybody. I went to the 2nd largest university in the state located in the largest city in the state and I could walk all about campus talking to absolutely nobody.

I have no desire to live in the middle of a city as a big city really has nothing to offer me. I'd prefer a suburb.

I've never lived a rural life, so I don't know how I'd do with that. The only advantage I can see to living in a rural area is that if you feel like target practice, your back yard is a suitable firing range. There is a certain freedom in being able to walk outside and fire off guns at 3AM just because you feel like it.