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This is a fantasy I've been thinking about for a while now and I'm not sure if I could actually go through with it but I've been starting to wonder if it would actually be a really good idea. Basically my plan would be to travel overseas, probably the U.S., not tell anyone and just start a fresh. I have plenty of cash, around $15,000AUD or $12,000US, I could find an apartment and get a job and just soak up the environment and hopefully bond with the locals. Now I'm sure some will say that you can't run from your problems and that you certainly can't run from S.A., but wouldn't this dramatic change force me to learn, force me to grow up and force me to confront my fears? Have any of you guys had similar fantasies or actually done something similar? I'd love to know.
 

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Four years ago I moved to a new city with a definite aim in mind (university) and it was absolutely the right thing to do for me, and it made me much less depressed, because I was depressed about being stuck in the rubbishy little place where I lived! It was hard, and I was lonely at first. I tried to socialise and make friends, but I wasn't very good at it, but I made a good friend after about 6 months, and was a lot happier.
 

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Well I don't condone ditching your family without leaving words goodbye. I do definitely support moving to new places in the country/world to live and experience and grow for a while. I do this often and I plan to keep doing it for quite some time. It is the most exhilirating and growing experience. I would never go back to live where I grew up again. Even tough it was a nice place, there's just no growing there. My friends and I that have left and been around we compare ourselves to the people that stayed and of course in a total non-judgmental way but it's as if they were the same people they were 10 years ago doing the same old boring things. And as an opposite we have become much more evolved from doing many traveling, experiences, culture hopping, etc. I think this is one of the best things a person can do for themselves.
 

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This is a fantasy I've been thinking about for a while now and I'm not sure if I could actually go through with it but I've been starting to wonder if it would actually be a really good idea. Basically my plan would be to travel overseas, probably the U.S., not tell anyone and just start a fresh. I have plenty of cash, around $15,000AUD or $12,000US, I could find an apartment and get a job and just soak up the environment and hopefully bond with the locals. Now I'm sure some will say that you can't run from your problems and that you certainly can't run from S.A., but wouldn't this dramatic change force me to learn, force me to grow up and force me to confront my fears? Have any of you guys had similar fantasies or actually done something similar? I'd love to know.
Starting all fresh again is a comforting thought, isn't it? I had this chance when my family moved overseas 5 years ago. It was quite difficult at first, because everything was new. The people, the places, and generally way of life. After a while my SA improved a lot, thanks to new exposures. However, I still haven't made any good friends.

This could be a new chance for you. One nice thing about moving is you won't have the reputation of a "quiet person." However, moves like this can be quite lonely and depressing at times (at least that's how they were for me). Why not tell anyone about your move though? Wouldn't your family be worried? :)
 

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I dream about packing up and moving to some big city (like NYC) and starting over. There's so many people there that I bet you could be invisible if you wanted, just another face in the crowd.
 

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I ended up when I was 25 applying for a job out of state which I ended up getting. I have been living here since. I will never go back home. There is no reason too, because my parent's ended up following me up here. But they live 30 miles from me so I still have the buffer zone.
 

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Why not start fresh where you live? People may know your personality there, but you don't have to stay that way. They will be surprised to see the new you, but in a short while they will get used to it. If you move here you will be forced to find a place to live and a job, but then what? You'll be back to square one social wise and if your sa starts to get in the way, then people will see you the same way they did back home. I think it would be best to work on yourself where you are at now, and if you get better, then come here and start a new life.
 

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I used to live right outside of NYC in westchester. I can't say if my anxiety wouldn't have happened if i didnt move, but moving certainly triggered something. I moved to middle of nowhere Berkshire Mass. I wont discourage you from moving because my situation is a bit different than yours. a) everything was set for me to achieve academically. Competition for grades was everything in my old school and although i cant say i thrive on competition, i was certainly used to it. Western Mass. was quite the opposite. All the kids were so concerned about eliminating competition in grades, it was ridiculous. b) Everyone's attitude is much more laid back and mature at my new school. In one sense, they're a lot older. appearance and attitude. it was hard going from a place where kids matured slower to a place where everyone seemed so much older. In another sense, my new school seems a lot (to put it colloquially) lamer than at my old school. Just the way everyone acts and dresses. It was just a totally different environment. c) the most important factor is that i absolutely did not want to move. This is probably what hurt me the most.

edit: I have been looking at universities in boston and id have to say i feel a lot more comfortable there than in Mass or even in Westchester.

edit #2: If your unhappy where you live, I strongly suggest moving somewhere else. America has many great opportunities. To cure SA i would suggest moving to a city, particularly in the North East. Like you said, moving itself can be a cure if it changes your perspective on life and/or subconscious thoughts.
 

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That sounds awesome! I say go for it. I wish I had the money to do something like that.
 

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I've moved a few times. Wanted to completely start over. I once moved clear across the US. From a small, rural town to a large city.

One things for sure, your problems follow you wherever you go. I didn't believe it until I experienced it. But I'm not trying to discourage you at all. Not only is it fun and exhilirating, you can also learn a lot.

In some ways, it really helped my SA. In some ways, it made it much worse. Mostly, though, it was a great learning experience. So it all depends on why you want to go. I thought it would cure my SA. It definately didn't do that.
 

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I have this fantasy too. Ive acted on it, not overseas but I ran as far as I could. I can tell you, for a while it will feel awesome, a new environment, new people, new persona, new life, but eventually all the problems you run from come back to you. Before you leave. Take care of whats troubling you.

I moved to the middle of nowhere literally, the centre of the Australian outback, its desert and not much else for hundreds of kms/miles, Uluru (Ayers Rock). Had the time of my life! but all my anxiety came down on me like a tone of bricks and I left. I lasted 4 months.
Then I moved north, to Sunshine Coast Queensland. Again, had the time of my life! then anxiety hit me again and I left. Lasted almost a year there.
I really regret that, leaving I mean. Cos now Im stuck here in Melbourne again.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks for the responses guys, basically my reasoning behind doing something like this is that I feel my whole life has been controlled by forces other than my own and I have literally drifted through life based on other peoples expectations of me or what I perceived other peoples expectations to be of me. If I were to do this, even if I ended up back home in 3 months, it would give me belief that I'm not fated to a particular life and that I am the one in control. I long for that feeling of empowerment and independence. In saying that, however, its easier said than done and I've dug myself into such a rut that it will take a lot to get out of it. I've got massive respect for those of you who have done it though, cannot have been easy epecially with S.A. issues.
 

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Speaking from experience, I would move with a purpose that is beyond SA. Move because there are more opportunities, move for a job, move for education, move to the beach because you love surfing, but don't move just because of SA.

Honestly, if I were you, I would take that money and travel to the places in the world that interest you, stay in hostels, meet other travelers and some locals, really get a sense of these places and people. Somewhere along the way you may find a place that feels right or some job opportunity may come up or you'll meet someone who will give you a place to crash for a while in some other country...
 
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