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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've just graduated high school and I'm going off to college next year so I'll be having to stay in residence. (It's better than staying at home...) And I've just been told that I'm gonna have a bedroom to myself in a four bedroom apartment style place, with three other strangers. Naturally, I'm freaking out. I just feel like the moment these other girls see me, they're gonna start excluding me. Personality aside, I'm not very attractive (quite tomboyish really). I always wear loose clothing from the guys section (I've always been like this). I just can't bear the thought of being excluded by these three strangers who are probably gonna find me strange in appearance if not in mannerisms. (Not that I want to interact with them...) I just don't want to be made fun of in a place I'm supposed to call home for the next 3-4 years till I finish my major. Any tips guys for getting through this?
 

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I have no tips, but I know what you're going through. I'll be a Junior in the Fall, but it'll also be my first year staying on campus since I commuted my first two years. Is there a way you can get to know your roommates before moving in? I already know who my roommate is, so I plan on messaging her on Facebook or something so we can get to know each other before we have to start living together. I wish you the best of luck though.
 

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It's good that you have your own room. I've lived with 3 different sets of roommates in university, and it's either been that I'm on sort of friendly terms with them or didn't really talk to them. If you don't become close with them, it's fine, they're probably not going to be super mean or anything. If you have any problems with them, they usually have people to help or may let you change your room.
 

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It's normal to be nervous about this, and I'm sure your roommates will be too. But people living in residence are eager to make friends so don't assume they're just going to dislike/exclude you.
 

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Thanks for the suggestion to message my roomates beforehand. There actually is such a facility available on the college website, and I'm looking into it. Just quite intimidated by it really. But I'm gonna give it a go.
 

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First of all, realize that they're probably all thinking some version of the same thing. They wan't to be liked. They want to fit in. They don't want to be excluded.

Second, you have no idea what they'll be like! They might be perfectly compatible friend-matches. It might be the easiest transition in history.

Third: there are a lot of things going on at college. Your roommate situation will just end up being one small part. It can be very important in your social life, or it can simply be a place where you hang your hat and say hey to the roomies every once in a while. That will be up to you. But don't worry, there are a million other directions your social life can and will take.

Last: If it does turn out that you're the odd one out, remember that different is interesting. And people spend their entire lives on the lookout for something interesting. Trying to fit in is boring, and it results in boring lives. Nobody writes stories about those people, because nobody would read them. If you're yourself (i.e. unique and fascinating) they'll want to be accepted by YOU, not the other way around.

Have fun! Gather ye rosebuds and such.

Until we meet,
Penn Savage
 

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I'm going to uni this fall and will be staying in a corridor with shared kitchen so I know how you feel. But I think it'll be good, hopefully it'll make me go out and see people more. Let's hope it'll be a good time for the both of us, ehh?
 

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Thanks for the suggestion to message my roomates beforehand. There actually is such a facility available on the college website, and I'm looking into it. Just quite intimidated by it really. But I'm gonna give it a go.
I'm intimidated by it as well! But I think it'll make you feel better about the situation if you at least know a few things about them. I think that's better than moving in with someone you haven't communicated with at all.
 

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You're actually quite lucky to have a bedroom to yourself. I was placed with roommates on three different occasions in college, and each time it was one shared room with multiple beds. The hardest part was not having any personal space or anywhere to hide when I wanted to be alone.

That being said, it isn't hard to get along with roommates as long as you don't make a BAD impression (don't steal food, make too much noise, make messes you don't clean up, ask nosy questions, etc.). Being quiet and keeping to yourself, and being polite when you DO interact, usually means they'll just let you be.

And it's entirely likely that at least one of them may be a bit like you, in which case you may actually have the opportunity to bond over it.
 

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I've just graduated high school and I'm going off to college next year so I'll be having to stay in residence. (It's better than staying at home...) And I've just been told that I'm gonna have a bedroom to myself in a four bedroom apartment style place, with three other strangers. Naturally, I'm freaking out. I just feel like the moment these other girls see me, they're gonna start excluding me. Personality aside, I'm not very attractive (quite tomboyish really). I always wear loose clothing from the guys section (I've always been like this). I just can't bear the thought of being excluded by these three strangers who are probably gonna find me strange in appearance if not in mannerisms. (Not that I want to interact with them...) I just don't want to be made fun of in a place I'm supposed to call home for the next 3-4 years till I finish my major. Any tips guys for getting through this?
Don't freak out! You don't know how the other girls will react to you, so don't assume the worst before you've even met them! Just go into it with an open mind and a friendly demeanor.
 

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It's natural to be nervous before moving in with strangers, so you're just like every one of us.
I wouldn't assume that your roommates will think you're weird or whatever before getting to know you.
Who knows, maybe one of your roommates might be going through the same struggles?
I would just be polite and friendly to them no matter what.
If you give people respect, they will respect you back.
If you're a nice person, I can't imagine anyone disliking you unless they're complete b****es.
 
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