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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Beware strong emotions. I've gone from adulation and reverent awe to disappointment and disgust towards colleagues, acquaintances and friends in the past. Sometimes I think it is best just to have a neutral feeling towards everyone all the time and not get close at all.

One example. A colleague...we shared good laughs together, I felt relaxed, I could be myself, we had good trust...it was like a honeymoon friendship except we weren't lovers:)
then a few incidents betrays my weakness or theirs, I might reveal some prejudice I have towards a certain type of person. She or he might reveal something in their past that is hard for me not to be judgemental. Then I gradually notice she or he likes to call the shots and they realise I am a bit timid and lack initiative. Gradually there are cracks appearing. Finally a big incident, which shows just how much respect we've lost for each other. The honeymoon is over. We are now enemies.
Someone will say...boundaries, boundaries...I know. But the honeymoon feeling makes you drop your guard and you reveal too much and then it's too late.
Such is the pattern of a lot of my relationships. As I said before. Better not to play the roller-coaster. Just be neutral.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Your workplace sounds real cutthroat. Why don't you quit the amusement park and try working someplace else?
Thanks for your input sir. If my place is a circus, then I am the clown: but not a successful funny one. Rather someone who everyone can at least feel they are not as bad as me. "well at least I'm not as pathetic as Rider"

I'm there to cheer them up in an indirect way.:)
 

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bipolar
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16,896 Posts
Beware strong emotions. I've gone from adulation and reverent awe to disappointment and disgust towards colleagues, acquaintances and friends in the past. Sometimes I think it is best just to have a neutral feeling towards everyone all the time and not get close at all.

One example. A colleague...we shared good laughs together, I felt relaxed, I could be myself, we had good trust...it was like a honeymoon friendship except we weren't lovers:)
then a few incidents betrays my weakness or theirs, I might reveal some prejudice I have towards a certain type of person. She or he might reveal something in their past that is hard for me not to be judgemental. Then I gradually notice she or he likes to call the shots and they realise I am a bit timid and lack initiative. Gradually there are cracks appearing. Finally a big incident, which shows just how much respect we've lost for each other. The honeymoon is over. We are now enemies.
Someone will say...boundaries, boundaries...I know. But the honeymoon feeling makes you drop your guard and you reveal too much and then it's too late.
Such is the pattern of a lot of my relationships. As I said before. Better not to play the roller-coaster. Just be neutral.
Sorry to hear your friendship with that person didn't work out mate, but I think it's always a mistake to put people on a pedestal - no-one will be able to live up to your expectations. (this isn't necessarily you, of course, it's just that everyone has faults - we all do.)

It's impossible for me to be neutral with people once I get to know them a bit. But as I've gotten older I care far less about whether they like me or not - mainly because I sometimes don't like them. :) You have nothing to prove to these people Rider - just be yourself. Some people we click with and some people we don't. Sometimes it takes a while for our differences to show too.

And don't be so hard on yourself, you don't sound half as bad as you seem to think you are.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Don
you still reading my posts? thought I'd bored you right off the site.:)
Hope you're doing well mate!
 

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bipolar
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Don
you still reading my posts? thought I'd bored you right off the site.:)
Hope you're doing well mate!
Hi Rider - yeah I still pop in now and then, and no - your posts aren't boring at all - often quite insightful. Hope the studies are going well.
 
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