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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Glad to see the forum is still thriving. Joined around 2007 while in college. Now happily married with 2 daughters, 9 and 7. I’ve made enough money and spend conservatively enough that I only need to work a couple days a week. Life is good from all objective measures.

Social anxiety I’ve learned is just a symptom of my underlying problem. I’ve accomplished so much, yet it feels like nothing. My brain causes me to constantly feel inept and inferior. Chronic depression, or whatever it is, slowly devours your ambition. At 39 years old all I want to do is sleep half the day and zone out with the nostalgia of playing old video games. It’s mental paralysis. I feel like my life is passing me by. I always had hope I would have things figured by now. An acquired wisdom after decades of experience. Now nearly at midlife I’m afraid I will never shake these feelings. I don’t want to die like this.

As always, thanks for listening.
 

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Administrator
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Welcome back. :) The forum must have changed a lot since you were last here.
 
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Glad to see the forum is still thriving. Joined around 2007 while in college. Now happily married with 2 daughters, 9 and 7. I’ve made enough money and spend conservatively enough that I only need to work a couple days a week. Life is good from all objective measures.

Social anxiety I’ve learned is just a symptom of my underlying problem. I’ve accomplished so much, yet it feels like nothing. My brain causes me to constantly feel inept and inferior. Chronic depression, or whatever it is, slowly devours your ambition. At 39 years old all I want to do is sleep half the day and zone out with the nostalgia of playing old video games. It’s mental paralysis. I feel like my life is passing me by. I always had hope I would have things figured by now. An acquired wisdom after decades of experience. Now nearly at midlife I’m afraid I will never shake these feelings. I don’t want to die like this.

As always, thanks for listening.
best of continued success. i'm still working on finding more meaningful and better-paying work.. getting toxic acquaintances out of my life.. finding a better semblance of a personal/social life.
 

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alien monk
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how did you make so much money?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks so much for the replies.

I wouldn’t say I’m apathetic, but depression started around 2006. The social anxiety has been there since 6th grade.

As for how I made so much money, I wouldn’t necessarily call it a lot. I invested handsomely and early for retirement which helps. I was lucky enough to get into pharmacy back it was more lucrative and tuition was affordable. They’re paying me $60/hr in my area currently but the industry is deteriorating and I hear they’re hiring on at as low as $40. I’ll likely never get a so much as a cost of living raise again. My wife is a 1st grade teacher and is on pace soon to surpass my hourly. We are extremely blessed and fortunate, which is what makes this state of mind so frustrating.
 
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