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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys

I'm looking for resources, especially audio books aswel as other stuff that I can read and listen to that'll help me with my conversation skills. To me, its my weakest area. I struggle having conversations with my closest friends and now I'm fed up. I'm gona make a conscious effort to improve my conversation skills and want to know if there's anything you could recomend? I prefer audio books because I listen to them in bed and make notes but anything will do

Also as a side note: my confidence is also lacking so any self help stuff that has actually helped you guys, I would like to hear about.

Thanks in advance!
 

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How To Win Friends and Influence People is probably the most known book for this subject. I can't personally recommend it because I've never finished reading it (short attention span) but it seems to be recommended by a lot of people.

The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden is also one that gets recommended for esteem/confidence but I've never read it.

Good luck
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
thanks stalone will give them a shot. i think most of us could make a big difference in our lives by improving firstly self esteem and confidence and our conversation skill. my goal is at the end of this to walk up to a stranger or friend of a friend and kick *** at a conversation with her..........yeah you heard me right! "with HER" haha i'm keeping positive about this:high5
 

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Newspapers, movies, documentaries, books, talk radio, real life experiences
 

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Forget it, don't bother... if you have SA, that's the problem, not your conversation skills.

It's no use fixing the tire if the engine is broken, if you want to fix something, look at the engine.

But anyway, here are some good tips. It probably won't help much though (but they are good tips anyway):

If someone asks you a closed ended question, give them something they can work with, learn to answer in an expansive way. A good conversation is a bit like a game of tennis. When the ball comes over the net to you ... you have a responsibility to hit the ball back in a way your partner can return.

5 Principles of an Interesting Conversation
Keep the conversation predominantly about them
Get them to talk about things that excite them
Aim to leave the person feeling a little better about themselves
Don't impose your advise and ambition on them, listen

Every time you want to change the topic of conversation, listen for the clues

Ask open ended questions
What and Why and When And How and Where and Who
 

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Quartzfiend
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Forget it, don't bother... if you have SA, that's the problem, not your conversation skills.

It's no use fixing the tire if the engine is broken, if you want to fix something, look at the engine.

But anyway, here are some good tips. It probably won't help much though (but they are good tips anyway):
Not really true here.

I've gone through a lot of treatment and my anxiety is lessened greatly to the point where on most days I do not mind being around people or walking up to them and talking. My problem is that I simply don't know what to say or keep people interested.
 

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medicinmels
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Hmm..conversation skills are not really something you can get from an audiobooks or book. It is more about practicing and seeing what gets someone talking. I do not usually strike up conversations, but when I do I usually just look to see what someone is doing and make a comment. Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they don't understand what I am talking about and look confused. It happens. At the end of the conversation, I walk away because I know I'll never see the person again. Unless, we're in a class together and I say something awkward to them. Then the worst part is when you come back to class and they are sitting clear across to the other side of the room--far away from the girl who made the weird comments. What can I do? I am not in the class to make friends...
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Forget it, don't bother... if you have SA, that's the problem, not your conversation skills.

It's no use fixing the tire if the engine is broken, if you want to fix something, look at the engine.

But anyway, here are some good tips. It probably won't help much though (but they are good tips anyway):
only half way through the "how to influence people and make friends" and i've already got a date.........this stuff can help you become less of a douche and become more approachable and a nicer person to be around

and to those who argue: "you're changing yourself to suite others"
this may be true but i live my life with the philosophy "adapt to survive"
i may be changing myself to be a better person and it might seem fake(im putting in killer effort at the gym too) but we're all social creatures and we need to be social to survive. yes i am changing myself but i'm really actually doing for myself

i change -> people like me -> i get more opportunities(or am atleast forced ) to socialize -> i become more comfortable around people -> social skill improves -> begin to fit in -> eventually become happy with my life -> finally get over my desire to kill myself.

it all starts with you...as cruel as it sounds, in this worlds view, you and i are the fault.

put in the effort. i have and it looks like life is becoming more bearable:)

p.s. having said this i realize that many of you probably have worse SA than i do but theres still hope guy and girls! take it from a guy who has scars on both arms. never give up on yourself. no one else is looking out for you so be your OWN guiding light and helping hand!

goodluck everyone. i will post back in a few days with how its going! :)

oh and remember you can study anything until you're blue in the face. its the PRACTICE that will help you!
 

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How To Win Friends and Influence People is probably the most known book for this subject. I can't personally recommend it because I've never finished reading it (short attention span) but it seems to be recommended by a lot of people
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden is also one that gets recommended for esteem/confidence but I've never read it.

Good luck
I can, and it's a great book. Very precise and informative.

Everyone here should give that a read at least once. If you want to improve conversations that is.
 
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