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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone, just looking for some input.

Me and my gf have been together for about 9 months. We're really close, never argue, love each other blah blah

also shes 18 and im 20, both virgins. I'm afraid to bring it up to often cause she might think that's ALL I want. (at least that's what a friend told me would happen) and I don't want it to ruin things.

but not bringing it up at all seems to be making it just as bad. I am 100% positive the reason she doesn't want to is cause shes afraid it might change things between us for the worse, so what do I do about this? without coming on as the horny boy I am.

also subtly we brought it up tonight, she mentioned she "doesn't wanna think that far ahead" what the hell does that mean... I don't wanna wait damn YEARS or something.

cheating is easy, but I would just feel guilty & depressed about it. What do I do?
 

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Quartzfiend
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You've been together 9 months and she'd think you were only wanting sex if you decided to discuss it? How's that work?

You can bring it up. But you need to do so in a way that frames the fact that you want to be respectful of her. If she's not ready, you need to cut her loose or wait for her to be ready.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
If she's not ready for it yet, then she just isn't. Either you deal with that, or find a new girlfriend.
If I said the right things, did the right things..etc I could make this happen.

You've been together 9 months and she'd think you were only wanting sex if you decided to discuss it? How's that work?
Maybe it sounded confusing. Well, she might think that's all I want from there-on out. I'm not in this relationship just to get action, but I really want it.
 

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Quartzfiend
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If I said the right things, did the right things..etc I could make this happen.

Maybe it sounded confusing. Well, she might think that's all I want from there-on out. I'm not in this relationship just to get action, but I really want it.
It's an eventuality that comes with being in a real relationship. She's being silly to think that's the only reason you'd want to be with her just from one discussion.
 

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If you've been together that long and you are comfortable together, bringing it up shouldn't be a big deal at all. Just don't say "Hey, I want to **** you", I'd say try to bring it up at a time where the conversation can flow into it subtly again. You need to get on the same page though. If she doesn't want to, then she doesn't want to, end of story. Pushing it on her will only make it seem worse as well, like you only want that out of her.
 

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No flex zone
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I think 9 months sounds like a lot for waiting... But what do I know :b

Just don't make her feel guilty for not doing it with you, it will just push her away from you. Be supportive.
 

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Well maybe she doesn't want to yet and it's alright to discuss it with her but don't pressure her and try to make her feel guilty because that'll push her away if she's not ready...And if that makes you unhappy then break it off with her and find someone else, but don't cheat because that's just wrong.
 

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I would break up with her immediately. You shouldn't have to feel ashamed for wanting sex. Don't allow her to have that power over you.
 

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Hey everyone, just looking for some input.

Me and my gf have been together for about 9 months. We're really close, never argue, love each other blah blah

also shes 18 and im 20, both virgins. I'm afraid to bring it up to often cause she might think that's ALL I want. (at least that's what a friend told me would happen) and I don't want it to ruin things.

but not bringing it up at all seems to be making it just as bad. I am 100% positive the reason she doesn't want to is cause shes afraid it might change things between us for the worse, so what do I do about this? without coming on as the horny boy I am.

also subtly we brought it up tonight, she mentioned she "doesn't wanna think that far ahead" what the hell does that mean... I don't wanna wait damn YEARS or something.

cheating is easy, but I would just feel guilty & depressed about it. What do I do?
The right answer is to either completely show her that you don't want it and are really uninterested in sex, or to start forcing it a little more to show her you have the balls. Girls are complicated but I am pretty sure it's one or the other.
 

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I would break up with her immediately. You shouldn't have to feel ashamed for wanting sex. Don't allow her to have that power over you.
She has no power over him. If he feels ashamed it is himself who is making him feel that way not her! If she's not ready she's not ready what do you want her to do? It's not like she's feeling that way on purpose to make him feel bad. And I think it would be a big mistake to break up with someone over this.
 

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Nine months is a long time. You sound like a saint. You need to talk to her about this. If she's not ready that's understandable, but you might need to move on. Just don't threaten to break up with her so she feels pressure to do it. It should be something she really wants to do if she's going to do it.
 

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You'll have to talk about it at some point.

What happens when you're making out, you never get close to having sex? Maybe you should try to take things a little further next time you do and if she stops, ask her about it. You need to get a clear perspective of what she's thinking at least.
 

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roarrrr
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She's a virgin. 'Nuff said.

She's gonna get nervous about it. Even if its been 9 months. She's obviously still uncomfortable with the idea of it. I'm a virgin & I'd be the same way. If you love her enough, then wait & keep your dick in your pants.

If its that big a deal for you - then break up with her. Patience is a big part of a sex life for one whose still a virgin.
 
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