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Hi. I don't know if I can be much help but I can relate.

I regret so so so much. I have had so many opportunities and not grasped them/ran away from them.

I went away to university. I didn't last one week so I came home and went to a university nearby. I was unhappy there and felt left out and failed so the next year I went away to university again. I was so miserable and was on the verge of quitting so many times but I did stay and get the degree (In English and American Studies). Which is useless. I had a horrible time there being so lonely and I regret not getting involved more and trying to have some fun. I came home basically every weekend so I would have saved so much hassle and money by staying at the university near home but at least I'll not have to wonder what it could have been like; I tried it and I failed so bad at being a normal person.

Oh, and then I went to the US, by myself, to go do work experience, a simple summer job, as my degree was good for nothing and I'd never worked. Well I lasted 3 days and didn't even start the job. It haunts me all the time how useless I was in running away. I regret not staying and wonder if I could have changed had I stayed.

Anyway so I can relate. I think you have to try and accept that what is in the past is done. And you should be proud of going to college and whilst your degree might not be so great for getting you a job at the moment, maybe one day it will be make the difference for you, in being able to take a certain opportunity? And hopefully you learnt some interesting things?

Maybe if you keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy your mind won't be able to wander to regret so much?

Sometimes I like to think that whatever has happened/the choices I made, no matter how much they didn't turn out so good at the time, that maybe in the long run they're for the best; eg. I might meet a wonderful person/a great grouop of friends that I would not have met had I gone down another path? Then again I'm still miserable and alone lol.

I shall leave you with the last stanza from The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
 

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Hi. I don't know if I can be much help but I can relate.

I regret so so so much. I have had so many opportunities and not grasped them/ran away from them.

I went away to university. I didn't last one week so I came home and went to a university nearby. I was unhappy there and felt left out and failed so the next year I went away to university again. I was so miserable and was on the verge of quitting so many times but I did stay and get the degree (In English and American Studies). Which is useless. I had a horrible time there being so lonely and I regret not getting involved more and trying to have some fun. I came home basically every weekend so I would have saved so much hassle and money by staying at the university near home but at least I'll not have to wonder what it could have been like; I tried it and I failed so bad at being a normal person.

Oh, and then I went to the US, by myself, to go do work experience, a simple summer job, as my degree was good for nothing and I'd never worked. Well I lasted 3 days and didn't even start the job. It haunts me all the time how useless I was in running away. I regret not staying and wonder if I could have changed had I stayed.

Anyway so I can relate. I think you have to try and accept that what is in the past is done. And you should be proud of going to college and whilst your degree might not be so great for getting you a job at the moment, maybe one day it will be make the difference for you, in being able to take a certain opportunity? And hopefully you learnt some interesting things?

Maybe if you keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy your mind won't be able to wander to regret so much?

Sometimes I like to think that whatever has happened/the choices I made, no matter how much they didn't turn out so good at the time, that maybe in the long run they're for the best; eg. I might meet a wonderful person/a great grouop of friends that I would not have met had I gone down another path? Then again I'm still miserable and alone lol.

I shall leave you with the last stanza from The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
That stanza by Frost has been pounded into my head by my Enlgish teachers over the years and I like it so much.
 

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I hate those what if questions...

Anyways, I realize no one on this board can answer these questions for me
You don't have to answer them for yourself either. You don't really know if the answer is going to be positive or negative. If you decide on an answer based on mere speculation anyway, nothing will change. In my experience those questions just served to put myself down for the choices I've made when it was entirely unnecessary.
 

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Guilt and worry treadmill - the only thing we can do is get off of it and stop dwelling.
We cannot get the past back no matter how much we try.
 

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I'll try my best at advice here...

Hi littlesongbird. I'm probably no one to talk (I've only started university :S) but I'd like to try to help you...

I tend to be optimistic about things, but I end up having a lot of negative thoughts a lot of the time. Other people just don't see it. I hide it. I also try to channel it into optimism. It sounds a little funky, but it's what keeps me going because otherwise I'd lose hope in the world. Feeling like crap is crappy. I know.

First of all, don't blame yourself. Find the good in the situation. I mean, the fact that you went to college and everything - for a start - sets you apart from those who maybe didn't and so have less opportunities. You have more. And it's probably harder finding a job with the recession and all. Don't think all hope is lost because you have more options than you realize...

For instance, my brother went to university and got a degree in visual arts. Which doesn't tend to be very practical. But during school he did a lot of graphic design volunteering help for a non-profit organization which helped him get experience in the field he wanted to go into. Then he took a year in college specializing into graphic design. And now he's a graphic designer!
Maybe you just need to specialize. I imagine it might be difficult to find options with an English degree. But continue to look for job opportunities or even opportunities to specialize in a field with your degree. If you really want to, you could even do something as simple as taking part in an apprenticeship program or learning hands-on experience at an institute to specialize in something completely different from English. You're not technically limited just cause you studied English. Not if you don't want to be. You're still quite young, it sounds. And you're in control of the path your life will take! So use your setbacks to motivate you to find solutions. And you'll be so proud when you're done. Also, it never hurts (while you don't have a job, or if you have time outside of a job) to do volunteer stuff relating to the field you want to go into. It looks great on a resume and sets you apart from the rest!

Think of it this way. You could keep regretting what you've done and you probably as a result, won't be very productive with your time. Or you could accept what's in the past, and focus on the present and the future - that's what matters! Life isn't over. :)

And as for the whole "being shy" thing. Don't sweat it. Everyone's different. You didn't do anything wrong. And if you're not happy that you were so shy, don't make a big deal of it by focusing on the way you were and letting it upset you. Remember once again, to focus on the present and future. You could be a chatter-box if you wanted to, I'm sure. So just try to be more social with others the next chance you get, if you'd like.

The way I see it, focusing on what's already happened doesn't help anyway. It just takes away from the moment that's HERE and NOW.
And don't forget to love yourself :) You have every reason to be proud. You've accomplished a lot more than other people usually do. Honestly.
 
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