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I'm feeling very lonely and depressed. I finished exams just a few days ago, and I start work at this company in two weeks. But the boredom of sitting home alone everyday is already driving me crazy. It seems like I'm depressed during school... I don't have many friends at school and it's constant pressure and anxiety from assignments, midterms, and exams. You think that when exams are over, you are going to be so relieved. But that feeling of being relieved lasts for about one day and then you wonder what the hell you are going to do now.

It seems the only time I'm interested in socializing is if it's an event where I can drink and where others are drinking. There's also this guy I kind of like and I have no clue how to go about making a move or taking the next step, so it seems like another missed opportunity for me as per usual with men. I'm pretty sure he likes me a bit too, but I think he's not the type of guy whose aggressive in approaching women. I guess this is just making me realize how lonely I am without a boyfriend. I've also never even had a relationship... I've watched all my friends go through their relationships, and most of my friends now have boyfriends.

I'm also bummed because I'm worried I'm going to be overcome by anxiety at this new job I'm working for the summer. I've had anxiety at every job I've ever had, so I don't see why this would be any different. Usually the summer unfolds with me being a nervous wreck every day.. summer ends, school starts, and my whole new set of anxiety and depression issues that are school related starts. I don't see an end to this misery and I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps I should start therapy again now that I'll be making money at work. But I've never really found a therapist who I clicked with. Most of the time they just sit there and offer obvious cliche advice.

Also, I hate the relationship scene because I become really obsessed with someone if I like them. This results in me going crazy and driving the other person away. I'm too retarded to be in a normal relationship. Even if I did manage to find a relationship, I'm sure half the time I would be worried and jealous... so is a relationship really worth all the anguish? That's why I usually just stick to myself. Also, I'm realizing how little friends I have. I only hear from friends when they want to drink or something. Ugh I don't know. I'm stuck in a rut... I don't know how to change things.
 

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Such is life. You brought up something very important, what does one do after exams ?

This week, my college exams started. Monday, while taking the bus home,I noticed this guy and girl stopping off at his house. Today again while taking the bus home, that same girl, stopped off in front of his house.

Well, 2 + 2 = fish so i don't need to explain further what they're doing :D

But it got me thinking, when I get home from exams, there is no girl that's going to visit me, and certainly no other periferal friends either. :|

So, keep it in there, woman. Try to ignore the empty feeling, and fill it with [ whatever talent it is you have ].
 

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Well, the good news here is that you can remedy the situation. You say your day is lonely and boring and whatnot...time to find some hobbies that you enjoy! I decided to start an anxiety recovery website, play basketball, and make money writing online...you can choose to do what it is that you like. But, basically, I have all my time filled such that I have more to do than there are hours in a day, and that is a good thing for me.

The other thing you struggle with, work anxiety, is tough to handle. Venting and telling your worries to others on this site was a good idea. In order to get my work anxiety under control, I have engaged in counseling (VERY helpful), a small dose of medication that I no longer used, exercise regularly, vent when I need to, and I have a strong social network to fall back on. Finally, I did make a career change from computers to social work, which has really helped because it suits my natural talents much better.

I followed the same method for relationships. Have you tried online dating? Plentyoffish.com is a great site and its free! I found that just continuing to work at it worked for me, and now I have a great girlfriend to whom I will soon be engaged! So, I would find ways to get out there and work on it, and keep doing it until you succeed because failure will happen many times (I've had thousands of failures).
 
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