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Hi there, I'm just another kid on his way out of highschool. I'm finding it really really hard to care about much around me anymore. I used to get by just playing video games all the time, occasionally with some friends, but recently that just doesnt work to occupy my time. I just get bored. I'm able to go out in public and be around people but when it comes to actually talking with them, I just shut down. I have this real bad habit of pre-planning every interaction and over thinking it, only to then divert from the plan and sound completely stupid within seconds of trying to start a conversation. This happening once or twice a week was enough to make me stop trying. I know people need social interaction but being so awkward all the time is just....awkward and I hate it.
Awkward really isn't even the end of it. I lie. Like, ALOT. Those few people who i am actually able to interact with really only know a completely fake me, yet another fact that I hate. I'm really not sure what to do with myself. Rest assured I have no intentions of suicide or self harm, arrogant though it may sound, I'm far too smart for that and it would be a waste. Now if i could just learn to properly interact with this world that I have high hopes of benefiting before I leave it.
 

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Welcome, EthanAKAKevin! :)
 

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This sounds a lot like me. I think about conversations in my head, how they will happen, before I start them, but then when I finally start them, I say something completely different. Usually something that sounds very awkward. I think the best way to think about it is that sometimes if u say something awkward, it can actually be quite funny, and it can also make you an interesting person. You should just feel good about yourself because you are unique from everyone else, and they should like you because of that.
 

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Hi welcome to SAS. Sucks how the real world is different from adolescence world right? The best you can do is to give it your all but to not stress over the outcome of your efforts. We as SA-ers have to remember that others realize people are not perfect. Just practice small talk atleast once a day and soon you'll get better at it. If you have anymore questions and concerns you can search or start that topic on the forums and explain away, people are willing to give their support.
 
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