[justi]

When I was a little boy I was always very shy, extremely shy. And I knew this but e always thought and hoped that in de future everything will turn out well.
En thought maybe if I'm on the next school I will change en get confidence, maybe later on etc.
My time will come, just a little bit later then all the other children , no big deal.

But when I was about 18, I was realizing that I was not chancing the way I expected to change.
I was still very anxious in social situation. I was very sober at times , en first I thought that depression was the cause for all this lack of interest in things en that this was the reason I dint want to meet people cause, I cant get the same happiness on a party while others do.

But a couple years later I realized that the depression was just a side effect from social anxiety.

At this moment I'm 22 years old, I feel sad about it that my whole youth is pretty much gone, this social anxiety ruining my life.

22 is still not old of course, but I'm an my way to thirty. I feel like I'm losing a big important part of life, where you explore things, get first relations ships etc., make friends, find a place to life etc.

 

[Makaveli]

When I was a little boy I was always very shy, extremely shy. And I knew this but e always thought and hoped that in de future everything will turn out well.
En thought maybe if I'm on the next school I will change en get confidence, maybe later on etc.
My time will come, just a little bit later then all the other children , no big deal.

But when I was about 18, I was realizing that I was not chancing the way I expected to change.
I was still very anxious in social situation. I was very sober at times , en first I thought that depression was the cause for all this lack of interest in things en that this was the reason I dint want to meet people cause, I cant get the same happiness on a party while others do.

But a couple years later I realized that the depression was just a side effect from social anxiety.

At this moment I'm 22 years old, I feel sad about it that my whole youth is pretty much gone, this social anxiety ruining my life.

22 is still not old of course, but I'm an my way to thirty. I feel like I'm losing a big important part of life, where you explore things, get first relations ships etc., make friends, find a place to life etc.

Take it one day at a time my friend. Small steps is the key. I know how you feel and I think about this alot as well and the only thing it achieves is wasting time worrying about it and causing you to get more depressed.

We all need to learn to live in the now, in the present time. Nothing will change the past. You can only influence today and eventually the future. I'm 27 nearly mate and I can't believe I haven't got multiple qualifications, a solid career, a wife/fiancee, a house and independent lifestyle. But I have learnt that these things take time and wont happen all at once. It's all about allowing yourself to learn, to make mistakes and to grow. It's hard for me because I take failure very badly but I've slowly learnt that doing everything 100% right first go is impossible ad it's ok to hit stumbling blocks.

I battle SA like you and other things that go with it like depression, general worry, perfectionism, feeling inferior and other crap in my head but the only way to get your confidence up is to do little things and prove that you will be okay.

Then use these experiences to remind yourself that you can manage it. It's like looking for evidence. I'm only working on it slowly myself but as far as I can see, while there is life there is hope.

We all know how you feel and are with you

 

[Raptors]

It sucks but be grateful for what you do got. If you need any inspiration, just look up some facts on poverty.

 

[drealm]

I'm also 22.

I haven't had a real friend since I was 16, all people I've met since have been shallow acquaintances. I've never gone to a real party with people my age, never walked into a bar, never gone driving with my friends, never gone out on the town with the guys ect. The closest thing I have to bonding with some male friends, was about nine months ago when myself and two co-workers went to Starbucks to get some coffee. That Starbucks outing is so far the pinnacle of my 20's "great times". Pathetic isn't it?

I feel the same way about depression. Social anxiety caused my depression, not the other way around. And yes, I'm burning fast through my "early 20's" and till have no real experiences bonding with friends, events ect.

 

[WineKitty]

Well here is the good news: You are only 22. You are still very much in your young years.

 

[dutchguy]

Well here is the good news: You are only 22. You are still very much in your young years.

thanks for saying, when are the young years over you think ? 30 ?

ps. dutchguy = justi, i got a message that i was banned, cause of multi accounts. (i forgot thet i already hat a account)

 

[LostPancake]

thanks for saying, when are the young years over you think ? 30 ?

i keep extending the definition of young years further out. i still feel like i'm in my twenties.

my advice: do therapy. i wish i had done more when i was younger, instead of slogging through on my own. it works, but progress was just too slow.

 

[TheGMan]

I'm 30. A lot of my "young years" were thrown away, but a lot of cool things happened in my 20s.

It really bothers me that I had a lot of lost life or didn't experience certain things that most people do at a younger age. It will probably always get to me.

But the past is the past. It's gone. But tomorrow isn't. If you are living, you can still do things and look forward to experiences. Things may never go exactly how you like, but you will have chances to improve on them and do things with your life. 22 is young. Some people have "youthful indiscretions" at 40. I'm %^&*ing things up at 30. I will still be %^&*ing up at 40, 50, however long I live. But somewhere in there I'm going to find time to do plenty of awesome %^&*.

 

[socially inept]

When I was a little boy I was always very shy, extremely shy. And I knew this but e always thought and hoped that in de future everything will turn out well.
En thought maybe if I'm on the next school I will change en get confidence, maybe later on etc.
My time will come, just a little bit later then all the other children , no big deal.

But when I was about 18, I was realizing that I was not chancing the way I expected to change.
I was still very anxious in social situation. I was very sober at times , en first I thought that depression was the cause for all this lack of interest in things en that this was the reason I dint want to meet people cause, I cant get the same happiness on a party while others do.

But a couple years later I realized that the depression was just a side effect from social anxiety.

At this moment I'm 22 years old, I feel sad about it that my whole youth is pretty much gone, this social anxiety ruining my life.

22 is still not old of course, but I'm an my way to thirty. I feel like I'm losing a big important part of life, where you explore things, get first relations ships etc., make friends, find a place to life etc.

every one with sa feels the same trust me. what you sed is probably the number one concern for all suffers of sa - ive wasted my youth and missed out .

when you have sa you miss out, thats what happens

but you are young, you can still do everything you should have done, but it will just be late, but its better late than never

im 27 in october and ive wasted all of those years but im gonna do everything i shoul dhave done all those years ago and i dont care if im still doing it in my 30's. i still look like a teenager and im as mature as one so why not live like one until i grow up

its fair to say im gonna be behind everyone else my age but so what , all that matter is you make up for those lost years , no matter how late.

being in your 20's is a perfect age for making up for those years , you still have a chance and u need to do it now

 

[dutchguy]

being in your 20's is a perfect age for making up for those years , you still have a chance and u need to do it now

thats true, but as long as im suffering from SA i still cant do the things i want ofcourse.

You seem to overcome SA i think? otherwise how do you do those things that you dont dare to do in your "young years"?

 

[odd_one_out]

Youth is extended by many years these days. Many don't leave home until their late twenties or even later, for example. Marriage and children happen much later as well.

At 31, I worry about the youth I am losing. Mostly it's the physical side that is worrying; the effects of ageing on the body. I have had a life consisting of many experiences; however, they were different to the norm and did not involve aspects such as real friendship or love. I would like to know what love is like, but am not wired to experience relationships in typical ways.

I worry that at my current stage of life, this is it, except for the situation becoming more difficult with age. I am not close to family and have no friends; I'm trying to obtain adequate treatment and support, plus disability and a caring assistant; not exactly the path I would have expected my life to take aged 31. However, with these items, I might have a chance at something more; perhaps a career and proper relationship. I have heard of people who have obtained such things many years later than this.

 

[epril]

Well here is the good news: You are only 22. You are still very much in your young years.

I agree WineKitty.Fun times at any age! Please! It's never too late. If you're not dead, you have a whole world of amazing people and things to explore! You'll never be any younger. Invite someone out for more Starbucks.

 

[epril]

thats true, but as long as im suffering from SA i still cant do the things i want ofcourse.

You seem to overcome SA i think? otherwise how do you do those things that you dont dare to do in your "young years"?

For me, I have learned how to live with SA. I will never overcome it, unless I can have a brain transplant. I often 'just do it' and then I go home and have my panic attack.

 

[IcedOver]

At 22 your youth certainly isn't kaput. You still have your twenties in which to make the life you want for yourself. I'd beg to go back to 22 knowing what I know now. Make sure you don't waste your twenties like I did. I have nothing to show for my twenties and am full of regret over the wasted years.

 

[Brightpaperwarewolf]

At 22 your youth certainly isn't kaput. You still have your twenties in which to make the life you want for yourself. I'd beg to go back to 22 knowing what I know now. Make sure you don't waste your twenties like I did. I have nothing to show for my twenties and am full of regret over the wasted years.

If you had the opportunity, what would you do differently?

 

[millenniumman75]

No better time to start over than now, then.

 

[helpless]

Justi, I can really sympathize with you.

I am 58 years old, and deeply regret wasting & throwing away my own life.

I wish I could cry about it, but I can't cry.

Do any of you other board members cry about your SA & what it's done to your life?

And, are they any others who have been able to "do something" with your life despite your SA, and feel you haven't wasted it?

I'd be glad to hear answers from anyone on either or both of those questions.

 

[dutchguy]

Justi, I can really sympathize with you.

I am 58 years old, and deeply regret wasting & throwing away my own life.

I wish I could cry about it, but I can't cry.

Do any of you other board members cry about your SA & what it's done to your life?

*
I dont cry about it, maby 2 times in a year for a couple seconds, but thats it.
When i was about 15/16 years il cryed , but i didn't know i was crying for SA, it was just crying about my lonley and depressed feelings.
At this time im morge logical thinking, it doesnt help to cry, so why would i?

And, are they any others who have been able to "do something" with your life despite your SA, and feel you haven't wasted it?
*I'm not able to do everythink i want do, but i have to say I'm not blaming myself for the thinks i didn't do in the past, because i got a reason for it, I have SA. If i did the things that I want to do in the past, then I was becomming more and more depressed because those things where stressing me out. en causes major anxiety.

I think, I did my best I could. I think everybody with SA can't blame there selfs, they are just surviving, you can/may nog blame your self by NOT going to partys or whatever, because if you where going that you get real stressed en didn't enjoy yourself and feeling very sad when you went home.
So NOT doing things was just a way to survive.

Thats how i think about it.

 

[socially inept]

thats true, but as long as im suffering from SA i still cant do the things i want ofcourse.

You seem to overcome SA i think? otherwise how do you do those things that you dont dare to do in your "young years"?

you just have to overcome SA as soon as you can, and then once you do you are free to make up for those lost years .

you know there is a cure for sa, ive seen it done. you just need to find the perfect theraputic approach for yourself personally then make a plan and stick to it .

i predict it could take a few years to overcome SA depending on the severirty of it but thats not to say that you cant completely enjoy life whilst in the process of curing it. true your life will be better when SA is gone but you can still enjoy the years of when you are changing. its the journey not the destination .

you can make up for your lost years no matter what age you are but in your 20's is perfect cos you are still young and there are still many social opportunitys out there for you now.

id urge anyone in their 20's to get a rocket up their @rse and do this now and really appreciate the fact that you are still young. older sa sufferes would give anything to be in your shoes