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Ellen
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39 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been having a really good week, close to feeling "cured" of my SAD even though I still have good days and bad days, so I've decided to jot down the steps I've taken and maybe they will help someone :)

First a bit of background info: I had severe SAD up until a few years ago. I was mute, only talking to family and close friends. In university, I failed my oral presentations and realised that this fear was something that would affect my career dreams and it needed to end.

1) I saw a psychologist at Headspace. Just venting out my problems to someone I felt comfortable with was great help to me.

2) I surrounded myself with people who supported me. Don't stick around in relationships with people who make you feel bad about yourself.

3) I joined a social anxiety therapy group and met other people like me. It makes a BIG difference to know you aren't the only one out there. Even though you meet people online, meeting someone in real life who feels anxiety like you makes a difference!

4) I joined a cooking club. I was really nervous going to this club for the first time, but the people I met had the same interests as me and made me feel really welcome. I started feeling like I could break out of my shell a bit and talk to these people. These people further introduced me to their own friends and I didn't feel lonely anymore.

5) I joined toastmasters. For those who don't know, this is an international public speaking club and there is most likely one in your area.
I spent a few months in this club just listening to the speeches. Everyone cheers each other on! Like the cooking club, these were a group of people I felt comfortable around. There is absolutely no negative judgement. I'm doing my first speech next Thursday, wish me luck!

6) I accepted that I feel fear in social situations. I realised that it doesn't matter what people think of me. This is the hardest to get over, because I have a "core belief" that I must be liked by everyone. But the more I break out of my shell, the more I realise it is okay to be imperfect, it is okay to have anxiety.

Anxiety is just a feeling, it isn't something that needs to control your life.
 

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Registered
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8,575 Posts
Cool! Well done.

And good luck with your speech :D
 

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Banned
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1,401 Posts
Fantastic! Well done! :) I've been pondering my next step in recovery and Toastmasters sounds promising. Love the cooking club idea also.
 

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Registered
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694 Posts
Congrats on your progress and thank you for sharing because this does give us hope. I've been thinking of joining toastmasters as well, it is a good way to build confidence through improving one's communication skills. Good luck on your speech.
 

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12 Posts
I love your no face avatar ^.^ So cute! That's awesome that you have learned to put yourself out there! Great advice, I've been putting off any meetup groups. Group settings where I feel I'll be put on the spot scare me more than anything. You definitely helped me to see that it will probably help me a lot though...:yes
 

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Chlorine and Wine
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12,105 Posts
How do you do all this if you're mute though?

I mean, muteness isn't just a feeling for me.
 

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Nadaan Parinde Ghar Aa Ja
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2,186 Posts
well done =) I liked this >> "I realised that it
doesn't matter what people think of
me. This is the hardest to get over,
because I have a "core belief" that I
must be liked by everyone. But the
more I break out of my shell, the
more I realise it is okay to be
imperfect, it is okay to have anxiety.
Anxiety is just a feeling, it isn't
something that needs to control your
life."
 
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