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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
If you don't share the same viewpoint, please have the common decency to not comment on this thread on how I'm a terrible person for not liking dogs.


About 2.5 years ago, I was at the pet-store trying to pick out a gerbil to introduce to my little clan. I walked out with a gerbil and a dog. I don't know how it happened, really. Had I known they were doing some sort of dog adoption event, I would've stayed away! I have pretty poor impulse control, I guess. We saw the dog I adopted and just immediately felt bad for her. She was trying really hard to get to a bone while she was in this tiny little holding cage, and the people who were adopting the dogs out didn't care that this was taunting her. We asked about her, and they immediately let us play with her. She was the cutest puppy I've seen in a long time, and looked a lot like my boyfriend's dog. I should've known something was weird when the rescue couldn't produce the proper adoption paperwork but still insisted I adopt her. My boyfriend didn't really want another dog(something I didn't know until last year), but he thought I did. I didn't really want another dog, but the way my boyfriend acted, I decided to go ahead and adopt her. What's the worst that can happen? The rescue told me she was 3 months old at the time of adoption. I'm pretty sure she was more like 9 months old, because she stopped growing very soon after we adopted her. They also told me that she was microchipped, and they'd get back to me with that information if I decided to adopt her. She had already been spayed, so I thought that, and the microchip, was a bargain for the price of adoption! I should've known that something was up when they really wanted to adopt her out. I never got the microchip number, and the rescue wouldn't answer their damn phone when I called, or check their voice mail after it got empty, so I just had to go out and get her chipped again. There's a chance she has two chips, too, because the idiot at the shelter I took her to, to get her scanned, didn't know how to use the machine to scan her for it.

There's a reason this dog was in a rescue. She has horrible behavioural problems. I've never had a dog that was like this! I've potty trained three dogs by myself...Granted, those times were when I had a backyard at my parent's house, I thought I had a firm understanding of what I was getting myself into. I didn't take into consideration that living on the second floor of an apartment was going to make it hard to potty train her, and I certainly didn't think that this was going to make potty training her even harder! But, it did. No matter how many times I took her outside and walked her, no matter how long I waited for 10+ minutes for her to go potty, she wouldn't do it outside. She'd always wait until I wasn't looking after we came back inside, and then she'd go. Usually right by the front door, or in an unused corner of the hallway, she'd just go. So I started putting her in the crate after the walks. Well, somehow I unintentionally trained her that it's fine for her to eliminate in her crate. She has no problem with making a huge mess and then laying in it. This must be from being at the rescue, because I've never had a dog that would willingly mess herself in a confined space and then lay in it. I swear, sometimes she holds it on walks and then waits until I put her in the crate and leave the room!
It doesn't help that I adopted her midway through June, and then broke my foot on a camping trip in August, because after that my boyfriend was the only one who could take her outside. If the dogs had to go to the bathroom during the day and he was at work, they did it on the balcony. I'm ashamed that this happened, because now my dog only goes to the bathroom sometimes on walks. I know that this is all my fault because I haven't taken her to the vet to rule out any health problems, but when I broke my foot, I couldn't afford to do anything about it. I still can't afford to do anything about it and it still causes me pain.

The thought that dogs have to use the bathroom a lot during the day never came to mind while I was signing the adoption paperwork. Had I thought about it, I wouldn't have adopted her. I can't say anything about my boyfriend's dog, since he's had him for coming up on 5 years now, and we've only been together for almost 3, but he had a backyard when he got his dog, and never thought about renting with him.

One of the things children don't think about when they first live on their own, is that everything costs so much money. I never thought about how expensive it is to take a dog to the vet, and didn't realize how much it costs until we had to get my boyfriend's dog neutered. If he didn't get neutered by a certain date, he was going to be taken away from us. But we couldn't afford it. I don't like this dog very much, and truthfully I never have, but I wasn't going to let the state take him away from us. My cousin paid to get him neutered, and told us we better not go about getting another dog any time soon. Embarrassed, I assured him I wouldn't. I already adopted my dog. My family doesn't know about my second dog because I'm too ashamed. I knew the minute I handed over the money for her that I shouldn't have, but I was too prideful or something to say "On second thought, let's sleep on it. I don't think it's a great idea. We can barely afford one dog as it is." We were going to get them in a training class from the pet store we adopted her from, but my boyfriend's dog can't be around humans without freaking the heck out, and not only was it too expensive, it didn't fit into our hectic retail schedule. We couldn't take time off work, we never knew when we had to go to work because of how often our schedule was changed, but most of all, my boyfriend's dog is too hard to control around other people. It's embarrassing.

We honestly can't afford training, but for some reason we can't try to rehome them. My boyfriend will say "Yeah, let's do it!" Then go back and say "No I can't rehome my dog I love him too much!" I'm tired of paying so much money to rent with them. We've never seen our security deposit back, because of how much his dog will pee on the carpets, and how much mine refuses to use outside as a bathroom. Not to mention his dog has separation anxiety, so he can't be left alone without barking, whining, and howling in his crate. Or else he destroys the apartment. Both dogs are horribly leash-reactive, but his does it off the leash, too. We can't have people over because the dogs go crazy when they're around people.

We take them to the dog park as often as we can, but if it's too crowded with too many humans (some idiots think it's okay to bring toddlers to dog parks) we can't go. I've come to the conclusion that we can't afford them, so we shouldn't have them. I think it's wrong and unfair to have these guys because they're cattle dogs and rarely get the exercise they need. I can't take my dog outside if there are people out there because she freaks out and feeds off my anxiety, I can't afford to get her professionally trained, and I'm running out of patience. She's almost 3 years old and I'm still cleaning up her 'accidents' at least once a week. I feel that she's doing intentionally. Like last night, I walked her twice before I went to bed. I stood there, while she sniffed the same spot for 10 minutes, then she looked into the distance for about three, and came inside when the sprinklers came on. I took her back out 15 minutes later and she did the same thing. As soon as I went to get ready for bed, she started acting like she had to go out, but the sprinklers were on and I couldn't get around them and, since she just had a walk, I told her no. She pooped in her crate as soon as I put her in there. This morning I walked her, she did nothing but sniff, and then laid down and slept some more. I put her in the crate because she got in the trash, and when I went to let her back out no more than five minutes later she already pooped in her crate.

I'm getting really tired of this. I don't know what to do. I just want to get rid of her and be done, and I feel terrible for it. But I can't give her the kind of exercise she needs because after about 20 minutes of walking, I'm in a large amount of pain. Not to mention that she pulls so hard on her leash that on some days, 10 minutes into being outside and trying to prevent her from pulling me off my feet, my healed broken foot is swollen and throbbing.

I've tried so many things to get her to not poop in my apartment, but she can never tell me she has to go out until she can't hold it anymore. I'm at my wit's end and this is starting to put a huge strain on my relationship. I feel like I get no help from my boyfriend, and every time I get her to stop jumping when he comes home, he goes and tells her it's okay to do that. So frustrating.

Has anyone here had to give up a dog because of behavioural issues? I feel that I've done everything in my power to correct her potty-training issues, but something tells me my anxiety is preventing me from actually doing that. I don't believe in any of Caesar Milan's advice, as I've tried all of it and it doesn't work at all.

If anyone can give me advice or tell me about a problem dog they've had, that would be great.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
It sounds like he doesn't fit in your household. It can be very hard to train dogs to use the bathroom only outside if they were stray for a large part of their life. Additionally, dogs will poop and pee in the same places in which they have done it before unless you really get all the smell out using an enzymatic cleaner.

I would check the % of animals euthanized at your local animal shelter and just take him there if it is above 80%. This usually means they only euthanize for medical or behavioral reasons.

If the dog looks enough like a purebred, you might be able to get him into a Breed Rescue. These are rescue programs for specific breeds that place rescue dogs in foster homes until they are adopted by people seeking that particular breed.
Both of my dogs do not fit into my lifestyle, that's very true! I've tried with the special enzymatic cleaners, and my female dog still goes inside. The internet says that when a dog goes in front of a door, it's because the dog knows they're not supposed to do it inside. Unfortunately, I can't afford to buy that stuff much anymore, and it gets used up almost immediately because of how often one of them has an accident!
We have a few no kill shelters here, but they're almost always full. I'm afraid if I put either dogs in a shelter, at least the male would be put down almost immediately. He's never bit anyone, but that's because we don't let him around people without us being there. We don't know if he's just trying to protect himself, or if he has violent tendencies.
I'll have to look into a cattle dog rescue program again! Thank you!

Truth be told, if I could get these guys trained to be dogs and not just heathens, I'd be okay with it. But I don't see that as an option any time soon.
 

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Dogs feed off your anxiety, so unless you can get that under control when you're around them, nothings going to change. My mom is like that too with her dogs. I trained them and they're perfectly good pets when I'm there, but once I leave they turn into nightmares again. It's an endless cycle, you're stressed, which makes the dogs stressed, which in turn makes you even more stressed.

No one ever wants to give up a dog, but I think in your case it might be the for the best. Have you tried putting ads online? My friend had to give up her cat and she posted an ad on a craigslist type website. There are a lot of freaks online :p, so you gotta be smart about screening. Ask them questions and meet them in person. The cat now has a happy new home :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Dogs feed off your anxiety, so unless you can get that under control when you're around them, nothings going to change. My mom is like that too with her dogs. I trained them and they're perfectly good pets when I'm there, but once I leave they turn into nightmares again. It's an endless cycle, you're stressed, which makes the dogs stressed, which in turn makes you even more stressed.

No one ever wants to give up a dog, but I think in your case it might be the for the best. Have you tried putting ads online? My friend had to give up her cat and she posted an ad on a craigslist type website. There are a lot of freaks online :p, so you gotta be smart about screening. Ask them questions and meet them in person. The cat now has a happy new home :)
I knew they had to be feeding off my anxiety...They don't pull nearly as hard when my boyfriend walks them. I have a panic attack almost every time I see people when I'm walking them, I just don't want to deal with them. I just want to avoid them.

And yes, I've put a few ads up online, but no one has ever contacted me from them. I wish I had family that could take them that had a large yard for them. I've been trying to find a foster family that could take them for a little while, but I don't think anyone would want two very hyper leash-reactive cattle dogs.

The worst part about this is that my dogs make my anxiety worse. I don't like it when people knock on my door because they go crazy, and sometimes my apartment management can tell I'm home because the lights and TV are on, so they'll knock on my door when they're going around posting notices. I don't know why they think it's okay to knock on their resident's door so randomly. I don't care if they want to talk to me, they have my phone number on file so they can leave a voice mail! Just because I'm home doesn't mean I'm not busy. And I certainly don't like unexpected knocks on the door because the anxiety attacks they give me. I can't get my male dog to calm down after someone knocks and I'm expecting them, and it gets worse when I'm experiencing any amount of anxiety. I think my male thinks he needs to protect me, because he doesn't do this when my boyfriend's home alone and someone knocks on the door...
 

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It sounds like your dog should be adopted by someone else who has the room/time/patience... I don't fault you on that, either, I personally have a hard time with dogs.

My family actually made a really hard decision a couple weeks ago and had to give our cats away...it was very sad but I think for the best, as we haven't had a stable home lately. It was just adding onto the stress of our every day lives to have cats to take care of on top of everything else, so I can kind of relate.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help about dog-related things lol, I'm not very knowledgeable in that area, just thought I'd give you my two cents..
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
It sounds like your dog should be adopted by someone else who has the room/time/patience... I don't fault you on that, either, I personally have a hard time with dogs.

My family actually made a really hard decision a couple weeks ago and had to give our cats away...it was very sad but I think for the best, as we haven't had a stable home lately. It was just adding onto the stress of our every day lives to have cats to take care of on top of everything else, so I can kind of relate.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help about dog-related things lol, I'm not very knowledgeable in that area, just thought I'd give you my two cents..
If I could find someone to adopt them I would be so happy D:

I'm sorry you guys had to get rid of your cats. I did that two years ago, and sometimes I still cry when I think about them. I don't even know if they ever got adopted out, or not. I think your family did the right thing by giving them away, it's more responsible that way.

It's okay, I'm learning that people like me don't make good dog owners because we're overly emotional and not at all confident, but I'm really happy that people haven't told me to jump in front of a bus because I don't like dogs very much. I thought I did. But I was wrong, I guess....Growing up with animals is nothing like having them when you're on your own.

Cats, however, are amazing. I've never had a problem with my current cat, and she's 13 or so. I don't know what I'd do without her, she calms me down so much!
 
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