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The few weeks leading up to Xmas week are usually the busiest, and this girl I just learn is taking a 3 week vacation and she will be gone until 2019. Yay! I kind of suspected it since she is usually one of the early ones to leave work from what I heard. But the past month, she has been staying pretty late. So likely she was prepping to get lots of her longer term work out of the way for her vacation. I should've suspected it. Gonna have less work from home days the rest of the month thanks to her.
 

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On my way home from work. A shirtless hairy man with nothing on but a pair of torn up jeans walking around the train station concourse with a giant kitchen knife in his hand chanting some sort of gibberish. And then pointing the knife at random nearby people that walked by him in a threatening manner. But everyone literally just walked by him like it's nothing, and not even alarmed. I guess this is typical.
 

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Had no idea this entire time Linkedin shows and instantly notifies exactly which users have viewed their profile every time. Unless you set yourself in private mode. And then I realized twice in the past I switched myself to private, and for some reason it keeps automatically reverting me back to public after a period of time.

With a google email, apparently it automatically pushes any of my contacts to view my linkedin profile too.
 

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Masturbating transient has returned and back at it again. Sitting at his regular courtyard bench on my commute route, just going to town and humming to himself loudly. During his absence, I thought he either overdosed or was arrested and jailed.
 

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Many refrain from asking our manager questions for clarity because he always has a knack of getting annoyed if he has to repeat someone more than once. Despite it's not really much of an inconvenience to answer these questions. Just straight forward simple replies. But he is too impatient. As a result, I always run into coworkers giving me work that are messed up and done wrong due to having to second guess things. Which sets me back a lot and I often get the blame for it for this setback by the very same manager. If you are too impatient to just repeat giving directions as long as it's reasonable, you shouldn't be qualified to be a manager in the first place.
 

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Coworker has been giving me a cold shoulder and avoiding eye contact with me the past several times I saw her. Ever since I offered to a ride home since we live like 2 miles from each other, because her car was in the shop for the week. She just bluntly declined, but not after giving me an awkward and unsettled reaction. Later found out because her husband is coming by to pick her up. Could've just told me that and declined my offer, simple as that. But the cold shouldering, I don't understand. Maybe she felt it was awkward and inappropriate I offered since we barely really talked for as long as I've been there. At least we rarely ever work together being in different departments. But it's still very uncomfortable and this bothers me.
 

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Restarting on projects that have been shelved for more than a year is hard. It often takes me days to remember and re-gather what all of the bits and pieces really are. Yet for others, they seem to be able to pick them back up right away, like they've lasted worked on them just yesterday.
 

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I don't know what to say from a video chat from my manager. She said she long noticed I have a habit of being too overly considerate of everyone, to the point of sacrificing the consideration of myself. That I am often times putting myself in jeopardizing situations just to please coworkers' demands. Apparently she and the higher up boss both thought it was my fault in several snags at a project only for them to later find out it was because I was taking on some of the tasks outside of my job description because they're tasks my coworkers didn't want to do. And it significantly slowed down the entire project.
 

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The assistant HR manager who have been handling nearly all of the household inquiries and who I have long suspected for years to have a disdain towards me, once again singled me out and left me out of an important work inquiry on the email group. One where it has come very close to screwing me over. Fortunately I went directly up her chain to the HR director and she had her fixed it. She simply just kind of gave a lackluster verbal shrug for leaving my email off for like the 10th time and added my email in. When I asked her why I kept being left out, she just shrugged that it was a menial mistake. She didn't even give me a single glance of eye contact during the ordeal. She also seems to have a pattern with neglecting other employees who she isn't really close with. While ones she's close with and are friendly with, she goes out far and beyond out of her way for them. Which makes me feel even worse.

Meanwhile the new coworker, his jacka*sery looks to be getting worse. And it does seem like many also do not like him. Oddly enough, the assistant HR manager seems to also be nice to him so far as well.
 

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I tend to have a knack of questioning authority and the context of instructions/directions given to me, even though I try to do it in the most respectful manner possible. Instead of just doing what I am told to do. I know in some ways this can be seen as a plus, but in most cases in the regards of work politics, this is usually bad, stupid and self-sabotaging for me to. And I sense that many colleagues are likely annoyed by this. I always am paranoid this will bite me in the butt one of these days. I always try to stop doing so, but I always find myself reverting to this habit. Maybe it might be an ego thing. Which I've always attributed myself to having completely none of. I guess that could be wrong.
 

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Getting a lot of strong hints the colleague at my department is trying rally the managers to unsurp me for my position. Because he has simply been throwing lots of passive aggressive hints around to everyone that I am simply nowhere good enough to be in my current position. Now I am realizing more other coworkers a feeling this way and is siding with him. I might just be my paranoia. But it's getting very obvious that one colleague is very unsettled with me. It's a lingering stress on top of many other stuff.

In all fairness, I do think their feelings are justified and are reasonable. I am pretty bad at things compare to the average person with similar experience with whatever particular skill it is.
 

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Getting a lot of strong hints the colleague at my department is trying rally the managers to unsurp me for my position. Because he has simply been throwing lots of passive aggressive hints around to everyone that I am simply nowhere good enough to be in my current position. Now I am realizing more other coworkers a feeling this way and is siding with him. I might just be my paranoia. But it's getting very obvious that one colleague is very unsettled with me. It's a lingering stress on top of many other stuff.
I was able to figure out something this colleague struggled to do so for a few days now. He then humbly attributed to his own brain fart. But reality is more so that I knew the ins n outs of something better than he does. This give my self esteem a bit of a needed boost at least.
 

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Having left 12 emails and 5 calls later in a span of 6 weeks, HR has yet to give me a single reply. I wonder if they have me blocked or have me set to their spam filter. Maybe they got annoyed me with of having left all of those messages. Typical routine tasks for people normally, they're always a series of revolving hurdles of dead-ends for me.
 

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Had a pair of coworkers who have less than 1/10th of the experience in me in something, gave me pointers and teach me the basics of something that I should long have known. I just loathe how lackluster I am and how low the plateau my ability is in just about anything I take up and should've been very proficient in. Most of the other coworkers very obviously caught on to this base on their "how do you not know this?" expression and body language. So this is bad. Especially how one of the coworkers for years now have long remarked frustration that I don't deserve the job position I have knowing that there are many others much better than me for it.

I just loathe how lackluster I am and how low the plateau my ability is in just about anything I take up and should've been very proficient in. My lack of ability is just inexcusable and worrisome.
 

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It's odd how it's becoming more and more normal to use social media acronyms in work inquiries. I've been seeing so much "idk" or "ic". Someone used "jais" in a sentence which I had no clue what it was. Googling or urbandictionary found nothing. Eventually she annoyingly have to clarify to me it as "just as I suspected" and she was in disbelief I didn't know what "jais" stood for. Yet ironically on the same inquiry, she typed the word "so" with like twelve Os as a way to express her tone.
 
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