Nature is so beautiful and just goes along with the flow, if we can see ourselves as whole natural beings, maybe we can just go with the flow as well. No one is defective. We only start to feel that way when we tell ourselves that.
Some people call their friends to come to their houses on a saturday afternoon. They sit on a chair next to swimmingpool and start to talk, drink beer and smoke cigarretes. They talk about their jobs, what they are going to do late at night, they talk about other people, they share colective memories that they would never have remembered haven't they met this afternoon, such as that time when Paul got drunk and went running naked on the streets. They say absurd things and then they laugh. Without knowing or intending it, they hate and love eachothers. Then they set up to do something later that night. Nobody ever notices that they meet with a frequency of once a week, or a month, or a year and then they completely forget each other's existence but for the happy photos which they see on facebook and feel humiliated because of this. And life goes on with everybody living a life that is somewhat 70% similar and everybody making it look like it's 90% different.
Things are going pretty well right now. Allow yourself to feel good about that, ****, and look at this message again if you start slipping again. You're not a hippie just because you're trying to be a little positive and s~hit.
Began a great semester at my school.. went out of my comfort zone to talk to people and make eye contact.. and I am feeling more and more comfortable in my own skin. Just gotta remember that there are people who appreciate me for who I am and that I can't please everyone!
Ok so this song is obviously not about hating yourself. But I think if you're creative enough you can see the message applies to everything considering hate itself. So there. Had to post this song somewhere.
Have to focus on the good things- good interactions and people who care. There are many things that can easily bring me down, but I can't waste time dwelling on them. Gotta remember there are people who care, I have had positive experiences and I should use these thoughts to move forward.
Date tomorrow. Just going to try and be relaxed and say what's on my mind and attempt to "be myself". Easier said than done, but not impossible. Not feeling too anxious, actually feeling pretty good about it. I've got this.