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unashamed perv
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm particularly interested in hearing from women with more than one child. It's been said several times in the "worst pain ever" thread that childbirth is the worst pain you can ever experience. I believe you. And not just the pain, what about the damage? The risk of your down-below bits tearing, or getting cut to give you more space? How does anyone get the courage to go through with it, especially more than once?

I guess it's worth it, for a new life? Is it somehow satisfying, like running a marathon? Is it fulfilling, in some way? Why can't we just have babies removed by c-section, under general anaesthetic? Ok, I know that recovery time from a c-section is longer that from a vaginal delivery, that you can't have more than three, that surgery isn't a walk in the park, but even so, what makes all that pain preferable, and worth it?
 

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Women dont tear very often anymore I dont think; I believe they give you an episiotomy before that happens. I dont think they do them as much as they used to though.

I had one and I think the healing time of that has to be quicker and easier than the healing time of a C section.

Also, while there is a lot of pain, you can get a epidural which relieves the pain or practice breathing exercises. I tried to go "natural" but the pain was just too great for too long. I finally gave in and had the epidural. However it did slow my labor down.

Ultimately its a day of discomfort for a life. Not too bad of a tradeoff if you ask me. :)
 

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unashamed perv
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
you can get a epidural which relieves the pain
But they inject it into your spine! Aargh aargh aargh!

Ultimately its a day of discomfort for a life. Not too bad of a tradeoff if you ask me. :)
Well, yes. I'm pretty glad my Mum thought that!
 

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But they inject it into your spine! Aargh aargh aargh!
According to my mom that spine injection equates to about half of one contraction.

She tried to go "natural" too but had the epidural. Glad she did, I sometimes make fun of her for almost not. Seriously, over ten hours with nothing? Thats borderline stupid IMO.
 

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Women dont tear very often anymore I dont think; I believe they give you an episiotomy before that happens. I dont think they do them as much as they used to though.
Actually, physically, episiotomies are much worse in the long run. They don't heal as well as a natural tear and a lot of times, the doctor *thinks* there will be a tear, so they do the episiotomy but in the end, they usually cut deeper (like into muscle) than the natural tear ever would have. It is in no way 'better' to be cut then to tear.

Just had to say that, lol.

As for the question...

It's scary as hell. Especially for those of us with SA. My doctor is convinced that I ended up with a csection because I wasn't allowing my body to do it's job. I was THAT afraid-- not of having a baby, but that people would have to be there and I wouldn't be in control.

But hey, I still want another. I don't know what makes anyone do it the first time, but once you have one, you just understand and you don't 'remember' the pain, you just remember what you got out of it.
 

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However, men much endure much more significant pain during the pregnancy as a result of all the constant nagging and belittling from the female counterpart. Men do not have such a mechanism that females do to deal with this traumatic physiological and physical pain. What are we to do!?!?
:sus

Yet again... the males on this board. Freaking unbelievable.

And seriously- you try being pregnant and see how bloody cheerful YOU are.
 

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This is a great idea for a thread.
Keirelle said:
I was THAT afraid-- not of having a baby, but that people would have to be there and I wouldn't be in control.
I've often wondered about that: not just the unimaginable pain but the fact that strangers might be fussing around you, poking and prodding, telling you to do certain things in a certain way at a certain time, perhaps telling you to do things or lie in a position that make you feel even worse, perhaps treating you like an anonymous lump of meat with no dignity rather than as a real person. Does this happen or are they all really tuned in and empathetic, giving you time and not rushing you, having consideration for your sense of privacy and dignity (as far as it's feasible to do so, obviously!), making the experience easier rather than worse?
 

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Actually, physically, episiotomies are much worse in the long run. They don't heal as well as a natural tear and a lot of times, the doctor *thinks* there will be a tear, so they do the episiotomy but in the end, they usually cut deeper (like into muscle) than the natural tear ever would have. It is in no way 'better' to be cut then to tear.

Just had to say that, lol.
I dont know which is better; I know there is much debate about this. The one I had healed fine but I dont know the specifics about to tear or to cut very well. :stu I just trusted my doc on that; she was a fantastic OB doc.
 

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Honestly, do you lack the ability to get jokes?
That wasn't a joke. It wasn't funny in the first place, but second, you don't get to make nasty comments and then add "whatever are we to do?" (as if that was funny anyway) and then claim you were joking.

Saying women nag and belittle men when they are pregnant is not a joke, it's an insult, no matter how you try to spin it. So stop trying to insult ME for calling you on your insensitivity.
 

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Does this happen or are they all really tuned in and empathetic, giving you time and not rushing you, having consideration for your sense of privacy and dignity (as far as it's feasible to do so, obviously!), making the experience easier rather than worse?
Depends on your doc, but honestly, by the time you get to the labour part, you know what kind of doctor you have and would have switched if they weren't decent. Besides, there are midwives now, doulas etc and you don't *have* to be in a hospital to have a baby.

I wasn't planning to have my son, he was a happy surprise (I had been told earlier that year I couldn't get pregnant anyway because of a hormone thing- they were wrong lmao). I was young and due to some odd circumstance, didn't even know i was pregnant for a very long time, so I didn't get the time to really think about what was going to happen, it was hard enough to deal with how SOON I was going to have a real baby. While I did have a great doctor, I would definitely have chosen a midwife at home over the hospital thing if i had had more time to process it all. Now I can't because I got stuck with a c section.

In any case, my situation was so different than most anyway that I don't feel I can comment on the 'typical' birth experience.
 

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unashamed perv
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
unusual condition, are you a mother? Because the thread title is "A question for Moms." You are adding nothing to this conversation, and you sound mighty like a troll to me. Fellow females, please ignore him, maybe he'll go away.

Edit: oh yes, and welcome to my ignore list.
 

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unusual condition, you need to leave them alone. Stop trying to get attention. You just make it worse. I have issued a warning for you and suggest you stay out of this thread. Some jokes are not funny.
 

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unashamed perv
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Does this happen or are they all really tuned in and empathetic, giving you time and not rushing you, having consideration for your sense of privacy and dignity (as far as it's feasible to do so, obviously!), making the experience easier rather than worse?
Depends on your doc, but honestly, by the time you get to the labour part, you know what kind of doctor you have and would have switched if they weren't decent. Besides, there are midwives now, doulas etc and you don't *have* to be in a hospital to have a baby.
Hm, I've heard testimonies from two women who were pretty unhappy with the way they were treated - my own mother was hurt, physically (not going to go into icky details), and another one said her labour was "hours of abuse" and they shouted at her "you're pushing in the wrong place" which just baffled her. That was a long time ago though, 26 years and 16 years ago respectively. My friend who had a baby by c-section 6 months ago said the doctors were great.

The "unbearable pain" bit still freaks me out though. How can you just not remember it?
 

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The "unbearable pain" bit still freaks me out though. How can you just not remember it?
I guess it isn't so much 'not remembering' the pain as it is you remember what it is like with that lovely smelling little newborn and so you don't care so much. It's just really exciting and I don't know... hard to explain lol.
 

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My mom did it completely natural with my sister and I. And she was in labor with me for like 20 hours. I'm always like, Damn! How the hell you'd do that? :lol
 

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Shauna The Dead
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I'm particularly interested in hearing from women with more than one child. It's been said several times in the "worst pain ever" thread that childbirth is the worst pain you can ever experience. I believe you. And not just the pain, what about the damage? The risk of your down-below bits tearing, or getting cut to give you more space? How does anyone get the courage to go through with it, especially more than once?

I guess it's worth it, for a new life? Is it somehow satisfying, like running a marathon? Is it fulfilling, in some way? Why can't we just have babies removed by c-section, under general anaesthetic? Ok, I know that recovery time from a c-section is longer that from a vaginal delivery, that you can't have more than three, that surgery isn't a walk in the park, but even so, what makes all that pain preferable, and worth it?
The pain was worth it, for my daughter. I love her more than anything :)
I would recommend anyone to get a c-section if they can though. lol. I had a long, hard labor and if I'd realized how rough it was gonna be I would have ASKED for a c-section :eek: And I tore... :mumIt was so sore to sit down for the longest time :b
 

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And I tore... :mum It was so sore to sit down for the longest time :b
I wonder which is worse? I had a (vertical- because I am just that lucky *note my sarcasm) c section and it was a *****.

That said, I have a very high pain tolerance and was up walking the next day with nothing more than a single regular Tylenol with each meal, and only for 2 days, then I didn't bother with them.

It did hurt, and I am sure regular people would have wanted the drugs, but it wasn't killer on me or anything. I am just thinking though, anything down there-- maybe that type of pain would have hurt me more, just because it is a different type?

I dunno, ignore me, wondering out loud. It's the same as headache pain really bothers me, but most other pain types I don't notice as much, or I just put up with it.
 

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I'm particularly interested in hearing from women with more than one child. It's been said several times in the "worst pain ever" thread that childbirth is the worst pain you can ever experience. I believe you. And not just the pain, what about the damage? The risk of your down-below bits tearing, or getting cut to give you more space? How does anyone get the courage to go through with it, especially more than once?

I guess it's worth it, for a new life? Is it somehow satisfying, like running a marathon? Is it fulfilling, in some way? Why can't we just have babies removed by c-section, under general anaesthetic? Ok, I know that recovery time from a c-section is longer that from a vaginal delivery, that you can't have more than three, that surgery isn't a walk in the park, but even so, what makes all that pain preferable, and worth it?
I was scared before having my first child about what giving birth was like, but I had a natural birth, and right after my son was born, I thought, "I would do that again, no problem." It wasn't half as bad as I thought, and any pain involved was instantaneously forgotten when I was handed my son. I had to have an episiotomy, but I didn't even feel the doctor cut me because of the pressure of my son's head. By nature, I'm not a screamer, but I wonder about the depiction of childbirth on TV where the woman is screaming. How can you push and scream? It's more of a bearing down -- not to be crass, but it's similar to taking a giant dump after having had some bad cramps.
 

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I just had my first son three months ago. Before I was pregnant, I always worried about the pain, how I would handle, people seeing everything down there, pooping on the table, you know the drill... but it's such a relief because once I was pregnant for a few months, and there was no turning back, I felt so serene about all of it. (Could have been the hormones too lol). Serene because I had no choice, and that's felt really damn good. I knew what was coming and I would have to handle it, no questions.

But when you are so grotesquely pregnant at 9 months (really, it's 10 months) you start WANTING the labor to come on, you're so sick of being pregnant. And then labor hits ya, and the pain hits ya, and you could care less who sees your cooch or if you poop on the table (that was my biggest worry lol).

Why do it again? Because it is worth it. Once you have a baby, your whole life changes and you slowly forget about all the bad parts, because you're having so much fun with your son/daughter. Some women say it's hormonal that you forget... so you do it all over again, lol. Anyhow, it's one day (hopefully haha).

And that epidural in the spine? Wait til those contractions kick in... you'll let them stick anything in anywhere just to get that pain to go away.
 

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Haha I know!! Push and scream? Impossible. Straight from the movies, not real... I almost had a silent labor until about 2 minutes til crowning, THEN I started to scream bloody murder.

Anyhow... I tore naturally. Things still aren't the same down there, but it's not such a big deal.

I was scared before having my first child about what giving birth was like, but I had a natural birth, and right after my son was born, I thought, "I would do that again, no problem." It wasn't half as bad as I thought, and any pain involved was instantaneously forgotten when I was handed my son. I had to have an episiotomy, but I didn't even feel the doctor cut me because of the pressure of my son's head. By nature, I'm not a screamer, but I wonder about the depiction of childbirth on TV where the woman is screaming. How can you push and scream? It's more of a bearing down -- not to be crass, but it's similar to taking a giant dump after having had some bad cramps.
 
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