[problematic]

I have several levels of friendship in my head. I always hope that friends will make it to the highest level. In reality my husband is the only one who has achieved this level. Friends consider me secretive but they don't realize it's because they can't be bothered to show that they can be trusted enough. I often don't want to share little things like what movie I watched (if it really touched me) or where or if I am going on vacation, with people in general.

I deeply want to have a friend that I can trust 100%. I always give little tests and look for little signs to see to what extent friends can be trusted. I have a very hard time trusting people with my inner thoughts/feelings/world. It is hard for me- I feel like I need to always be vigilant and protect myself from anyone learning more than I can trust them with.

Are any of you the same way?

 

[Vieras]

What kind of tests? Are they passable for the average person? Do you always look for a reason that says "no, they can't be trusted"?

Trust is a fickle thing, I think. What defines absolute trust? Would they have to simply keep your secrets? Would they have to save your life / die for you? Or would it be leaving someone you love dearly in their hands to protect (eg, trusting them with your child's life)?

Yeah, bit excessive on my part, but there it is.

I'm moderately private, myself... I share some things, but not others. I always feel as if talking about myself isn't really wanted by others, especially talking to them about my problems. Still, I have one friend who I can trust with secrets (first tier of trust, maybe?) because we don't talk to anyone else about each other's problems, so it's a start. Even if I am still extremely reluctant about sharing problems with him :b

I hope you find a trustworthy friend soon.

 

[april showers]

I can relate, and I think that's one of the many things that makes it hard for me to have close friends. I've always been told that I'm very secretive, which is true and I have a very hard time trusting people. I hate showing myself in a more vunerable light because I'm afraid people might take advantage of it. But by doing so I put a wall between myself and others.

 

[Writer of Fictions]

Definitely. I have a lot of trust issues and I feel that it's hard for me to tell anyone about how I truly feel and whatnot. However, I have been trying to be more open to the idea. It is tough, since I've felt like this most of my life. I figure that if I really want this though, then I would try a tad harder to build up such a relationship.

 

[MissSA]

I have several levels of friendship in my head. I always hope that friends will make it to the highest level. In reality my husband is the only one who has achieved this level. Friends consider me secretive but they don't realize it's because they can't be bothered to show that they can be trusted enough. I often don't want to share little things like what movie I watched (if it really touched me) or where or if I am going on vacation, with people in general.

I deeply want to have a friend that I can trust 100%. I always give little tests and look for little signs to see to what extent friends can be trusted. I have a very hard time trusting people with my inner thoughts/feelings/world. It is hard for me- I feel like I need to always be vigilant and protect myself from anyone learning more than I can trust them with.

Are any of you the same way?

Yep. I just don't want anyone knowing anything about me that could be used against me. I like to keep my business private. I don't ask people questions in hopes that they won't ask me questions. I hate when people ask questions. I hate nosy people. My husband is the only person that I trust completely, and it's taken years for me to finally trust in him. I've experienced that people act awkward when I have tried to express some important feeling that I have. It just made me feel like a freak so I try to avoid it.

 

[ChrissyQ]

Remember that the walls we build around ourselves also keep out the joy!

 

[lemphe]

I can relate to the secretive thing. Although it's not because i don't want to share things but because i don't think people would care. Something good will happen to me that i'll want to share with my close friends but then i'll think ''ahh why would they care about that'' and just keep it to myself.