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insert witty comment here
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
At the end of last semester some other student talked a lot of **** about me. He is a pretty aggressive kind of guy. When he runs out of arguments he shouts people down and accuses them of stuff. He has done that to a lot of people and they always back off.

A while ago he made it clear that he liked me. I in turn made it clear that I didn't like him. He left me alone for quite a long time but in the middle of the last semester he was suddenly very nice to me. He tried that for about 2 weeks. Then he realized I wasn't going to respond. And suddenly a huge big whispering campaign started.

Apparently I am an alcoholic. Apparently my previous degree is worthless. Apparently I only got into that university because I paid lots. Apparently I said a lot of really bad stuff about our lecturers (things like they do not know what they teach). Apparently I take anti-depressants, possibly illegal drugs. WTF!

It was hugely stressful at the time. I did not know where the campaign came from until the last few days. Lots of people got involved, even a PhD student who teaches us and I had a bunch of confrontations with her.

I consulted a couple of lawyers during the summer. I cannot get him in that way. I left it for too long, I would have had to go after him at the time not 3 months later. Also, I cannot proof that it was him.

So I will see him again either next week or the week after that. I will have to communicate that I am not going to tolerate that kind of crap again. I think the only way to do that effectively is to start a massive confrontation and to tell him just what I think about him. I can get really aggressive if need be but I am not exactly looking forward.

Have others been in similar situations? What did you do?
 

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poison apple
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Don't let it get to you. Unfortunately, some people resort to petty things like that when they get rejected. I liken it to a little child throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store because mommy said no when they asked for a candy bar.

I'm not sure confronting him would be a good idea. It could just add fuel to the fire. But I'm not saying ignore it, either. I think you should go to someone with authority about it. Could you go to the dean with your concerns? Are you 100% sure that guy is the one behind this?
 

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Banned
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Ouch. What a douche :?. He said all that about you? That's horrible. I think obviously you should try to clear your name, and accuse him of being a lying douchebag who's upset cause you don't like him. That's really all it looks like you can do. I don't really think confronting him would make much of a difference honestly. He said all this about you so he obviously either doesn't care how you feel or wants you to feel bad. Either way, confronting him does him no harm. He probably knew you'd find out about these rumors eventually, so he probably expects you to confront him eventually.

Hmm, actually, I think if you feel you need to let him know what's on your mind, go ahead (if it makes you feel better, cause I doubt anything you say will make him feel worse). But either way you should be trying to clear your name and expose his insecurity and immaturity :?.
 

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insert witty comment here
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
You rock.
Thanks. Quite the compliment :)

Don't let it get to you. Unfortunately, some people resort to petty things like that when they get rejected. I liken it to a little child throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store because mommy said no when they asked for a candy bar.

I'm not sure confronting him would be a good idea. It could just add fuel to the fire. But I'm not saying ignore it, either. I think you should go to someone with authority about it. Could you go to the dean with your concerns? Are you 100% sure that guy is the one behind this?
I have thought about going to the dean. The thing is that I would feel like this victim of a really bad campaign who needs someone else to defend her. I can't live with that. I want to stand up for myself.

I might add fuel to the fire but I somehow doubt it. There was one girl who had participated in that quite a bit. I told her in no uncertain terms what I thought about her and the following day he looked at me like he knew what was going to come. He then disappeared and I haven't seen him since. He is expecting it. Or, he probably hopes that I will not be angry anymore since it happend 3 months ago.

Ouch. What a douche :?. He said all that about you? That's horrible. I think obviously you should try to clear your name, and accuse him of being a lying douchebag who's upset cause you don't like him. That's really all it looks like you can do. I don't really think confronting him would make much of a difference honestly. He said all this about you so he obviously either doesn't care how you feel or wants you to feel bad. Either way, confronting him does him no harm. He probably knew you'd find out about these rumors eventually, so he probably expects you to confront him eventually.

Hmm, actually, I think if you feel you need to let him know what's on your mind, go ahead (if it makes you feel better, cause I doubt anything you say will make him feel worse). But either way you should be trying to clear your name and expose his insecurity and immaturity :?.
Yes, he said all of that. It was hell.

He definitely wanted to make me feel bad and harm my reputation. Confronting him is about making me feel better and also about setting some boundaries for the future. I cannot have classes with him for another semester without putting down boundaries. I can't live with myself if I let him walk all over me.
 

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Stay in your lane!
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760 Posts
Well, you need to nip that in the bud with him, the longer you let it go on the longer people think you're a doormat. If he doing all of those things you need to notify your school and file a complaint against him & tell them his harassment is disrupting your education. Most universities that I know of don't play around with that type of stuff whatsoever. Also file a complaint with the dean of students set up a meeting if you have to with him/her, imo this is your best line of defense and if it goes through them, he will be in serious trouble. There's a possibility he could be kicked out. I'm not saying whether he should or shouldn't be; but I can name 2 situations similar to this and the one guy was warned and then screwed up again, got expelled, the other wasn't even warned -- he was just booted. :eek: That last one was a sexual assault though. At least you are standing up and not taking it.
 

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Banned
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Yes, he said all of that. It was hell.

He definitely wanted to make me feel bad and harm my reputation. Confronting him is about making me feel better and also about setting some boundaries for the future. I cannot have classes with him for another semester without putting down boundaries. I can't live with myself if I let him walk all over me.
All right. Do what you gotta do. Good luck :). Also I do agree with the post above me saying you should report him to the dean. Doing both what you're planning on doing and reporting him to whatever authority in your school that deals with these kinds of situations would be the best course of action right now.
 

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insert witty comment here
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks for the support everyone :)

@RetroDoll - I will probably speak to the dean once I have asserted myself. Just to round things off. I can understand that they kicked someone out for sexual assault. Personally, I would be capable of murder with that kind of thing.

@Hopeful25 - yours and RetroDoll's posts have convinced me. Both asserting myself + talking to the dean is the plan of action. :)
 

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Still searching..
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Apparently I am an alcoholic. Apparently my previous degree is worthless. Apparently I only got into that university because I paid lots. Apparently I said a lot of really bad stuff about our lecturers (things like they do not know what they teach). Apparently I take anti-depressants, possibly illegal drugs. WTF!
I'm not really an alcoholic, and I never went to a school where "how you got in" was even a question....but that all describes me...

Is that bad? :drunk haha
 

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Banned
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I duno about this one, you might be asking for trouble if you try to get back at him..

Wait, do you even know for 100% sure that its him saying these things?
 

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I am a guy, and speaking from a guy’s experience, a female will always be a guy’s weakest link. He could fight the biggest bullies… he could have the biggest muscles, but the females enraged words are his weakness. What that means, is that he is not going to kick your ars lol. Your harsh words would definitely leave a bigger wound than a bigger guy punching him in the face for sure. So I am for you to speak your mind directly to him because that works 100%… well I am assuming that you know how to deliver the blunt message… but I know females words are more powerful than another guys… basically express your anger in a reasonable manner while using the right words to make him feel stupid IMO. Plus, you will always have the upper hand when someone likes you... oh, i forgot to say IMO.

Reminder, I am a guy.
 

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Registered
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Yes, I am sure it was him.

I don't actually know what easy A means?
lol. it was a joke. but it refers to the movie "Easy A" where basically Olivia Stone's character is thought to have had sex with some college guy she barely knew and then Amanda Bynes character spreads the rumor so everyone thinks she is a ****. So Stone's character just goes with it and becomes larger than life.

Basically, just embrace it. Let everyone think you do those things even play up to it somehow. He wants to break your reputation, but he's actually inflating it.
 

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Top 5 Poster
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you mean your not just gonna fall for him after all that harassment. LOL You are a jewel, keep on rockin!

Also I believe Easy A is a reference from that movie with that chick in highschool who lets boys pay her in exchange for pretending they are sleeping with her.

I say do it in front of everyone! Nothing like a little public humiliation to make people dissapear

Once you do, we will welcome him on this site as he will have SA for sure after that LOL
 

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That's so slimy and wrong but it's the way the world works. If you show any weakness people will take advantage of it. It's best to nip these types of things in the bud rather than drag it out. That's how bullying and harassment works. People test your boundaries further and further.
 
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